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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Marketplace buyer now wanting money back

110 replies

lonelylou09 · 12/12/2023 23:00

Aibu to refuse to refund?
So I advertised something on marketplace. A lady messaged saying she definitely really wanted it so we organised a time during my lunch break for her to come and view it, which she did.
She said she had wanted one for ages so was really keen to have it.
Asked me if I'd lower the price so I did by a bit, wanting a quick hassle free sale.
She then insisted on paying for it upfront as she didn't want me to sell it to someone else even though it was a large item so she wasn't able to take it then..All sorted.

Then she spent 10 minutes (after paying) second guessing herself wether it was right for her. I gave her several opportunities to have the money back if she didn't feel happy..no pressure at all.
She hummed and hahhed and said ...no I want it so it's fine. I said 'are you absolutely sure because I'll give you the money back now?'
She said ' no I'll take it'.

So it was left with me saying I'd remove all the adverts and let the other people know it had been sold and wait for her to say when she could collect it.
Deleted all the adverts for it and she's just messaged now saying she's changed her mind and wants her money back.

I will more than likely give her money back but I really feel like saying I'm sorry ..you've wasted an hour of my time, you insisted on giving me the money upfront and you said from the first message you really wanted it.
I missed having lunch to meet her. Then I have to arrange to meet her again to refund her...plus redo the advert and wait again for them to be processed and approved.
Would I be being unreasonable to say no? It's yours come and collect it please. Or deduct some of the refund for my wasted time?
Wwyd?

OP posts:

burnoutbabe · 13/12/2023 11:49

VeniVidiWeeWee · 13/12/2023 00:18

For private buyers the legal phrase is caveat emptor.

It means, unless the law explicitly says otherwise, the buyer cannot change their mind unless the the seller has misrepresented the item for sale.

But, IANAL.

Show quote history

yes, you are correct. She has no legal grounding to change mind.

so just insist its hers to collect now.

BertieBotts · 13/12/2023 12:03

MercanDede · 12/12/2023 23:35

From a legal standpoint you don’t have a leg to stand on.

she has the legal right to change her mind prior to taking possession of the item no matter how long that is. 9 hrs is nothing.
you have no right to keep her money unless you have it in writing with her signature that she agrees it is a non refundable deposit.
she didn’t ask or demand you take down the adverts, that was your decision. You could have legally sold it to someone else and then told her sorry, you never completed the transaction, I have a buyer that is willing to proceed, so here is your money back.

I don't believe any of this applies to a private sale. If OP is a business, that would be different.

ANightingale · 13/12/2023 12:10

She has no legal leg to stand on but personally I would refund just to be rid of the hassle and annoyance. If she did arrive to collect it, it's clear she would just come up with a dozen spurious things that were 'wrong' with it.

Beryls · 13/12/2023 12:33

Oh for God's sake just give her the money back. Yes she's a pain in the arse and you should let her know that, but in the time you've been deliberating about it you could have re posted it. If you were charged a fee for reposting then deduct it from her refund then you're no worse off than before.

VanillaCaramel · 13/12/2023 12:35

People on Marketplace are notorious for changing theirs minds (fine) but it's the time wasters that get you down. The ones who don't turn up after an agreed sale etc
I never take an ad down until it's been collected. Once I've agreed a sale I never take it down until after collection. But to avoid further enquires in the meantime I mark it as pending.

ArsenicInTheAppleTart · 13/12/2023 12:37

I’d just refund her. But I’d let her know in pretty plain terms that she was a dithery twit and a complete pain in the arse.

slithytoveisascientist · 13/12/2023 12:40

lonelylou09 · 13/12/2023 00:44

@Weddingblues23 yes I get that but it's taken a couple of days already for the adverts to all go through and be approved so it's not just the waste of 1 minute to rewrite the advert. Plus it's right before Christmas so I've got better things to do!
She had several opportunities to leave it ..even after she had insisted on paying.

Next time don't delete the advert just mark as pending or sold. Then it's one click to put the item back on sale. Not sure why you'd delete it.

AlisonDonut · 13/12/2023 12:49

So you still have the item? Why didn't she collect it when she came to see you?

RestingCatsArseFace · 13/12/2023 12:53

Ask for her address, post her a cheque. Postdate the cheque for after Christmas.

You will have proof you repaid her and she will have her money back. She will just have to wait for it.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 13/12/2023 12:58

She doesn't know where I live ... just where the item is

In that case I'd definitely refuse and suggest she sells it on herself if she doesn't want to keep it

Failing that, go with the PP's suggestion to tell her she can have her money back only when you've re-sold it yourself

Secondguess · 13/12/2023 13:04

If you do refund her, give her the same banknotes she paid with. If you refund any other way you could find you're left with fake notes and have given her real money.

Personally I'd tell her that she can collect the item and resell it herself- your recent experience has put you off selling it yourself again due to timewasters.

27icey · 13/12/2023 13:16

Offer to refund her and tell her you've found someone else that is keen to take it. Due to scarcity mindset she'll probably change her mind again and say that she now wants it and that it's hers because she's paid for it. Then tell her she needs to pick it up within an hour, otherwise you are going to give it to the other person.

GoonDog · 13/12/2023 13:17

There are some pathetic people on this thread.
No wonder society is a mess.

Pookerrod · 13/12/2023 13:41

I’d post this in Legal as opposed to AIBU. I’m not a lawyer but have done some legal exams due to my profession and I think you may be on dodgy ground legally as she hasn’t taken possession.

The item is in your possession so the transaction has not yet completed. She has given you consideration in the form of cash but you haven’t given her anything as yet.

The only way you could force completion of the transaction is by delivering the item.

But check this out on the Legals board.

JenniferJuniper80 · 13/12/2023 13:46

Tell her you've spent the money but you will re-advertise the item as and when you get time. Remind her you took the adverts down and wasted your lunch break selling it.
Then promise you'll give her her money back once it's sold. Probably some time next year. She's not entitled to a refund so that's the best she can expect.

I bet she arranges to collect it.

VioletBeauregardeTheFirst · 13/12/2023 13:53

If it's been in her possession she may now have damaged it so you might not be able to sell on. Just something to be mindful of. Why would she do that? Your previous experience with Marketplace sellers tells you there's sharks out there.

viques · 13/12/2023 13:53

littlemousebigcheese · 13/12/2023 00:17

You say other people were interested so I'd just give her the money back and relist it. It's too awkward otherwise as you'd have to be there when she collected it and who knows what could happen? She could bring burly mates to intimidate you, or get really angry and it's just not worth it in my eyes. Tell her it's frustrating as you gave her several opportunities to have the money back at the time but that you're happy to refund. Then just relist, resell and move on ♥️

Re list but include the phrase NO TIMEWASTERS PLEASE prominently in the advert. She is probably still looking for a similar item, will spot it and know who you mean.

For a refund she needs to provide her bank details so you can refund her directly at your leisure and not have to hang around waiting for her to show up.

TheOccupier · 13/12/2023 14:09

I'd just give the money back and relist. I sell on FB Marketplace and it's really only a couple of clicks to reactivate/repost an advert. If you get wound up by this sort of flaky behaviour then Marketplace is not for you!

MsFogi · 13/12/2023 14:23

Tell her how much of your time she has used (and will use) and tell her your hourly rate and give her the choice of picking it up or coming to get a refund minus the cost of your time (may even be she needs to pay you more for her ´refund’ 😁).

SecondUsername4me · 13/12/2023 14:30

I'd probably message "I'm sorry to hear you no longer want the item. As it now belongs to you (and I am storing it for you), please arrange collection in order that you can sell it on, if you no longer want to keep it yourself. I can store it until 22nd Dec after which point I will need to dispose of it to make way for a replacement I have purchased to go in it's place"

Basically - it's hers, you are storing it for free, it's her job to sort out selling it if she doesn't want it.

burnoutbabe · 13/12/2023 14:36

Pookerrod · 13/12/2023 13:41

I’d post this in Legal as opposed to AIBU. I’m not a lawyer but have done some legal exams due to my profession and I think you may be on dodgy ground legally as she hasn’t taken possession.

The item is in your possession so the transaction has not yet completed. She has given you consideration in the form of cash but you haven’t given her anything as yet.

The only way you could force completion of the transaction is by delivering the item.

But check this out on the Legals board.

well i mean she could sue for specific performance and get the item. Which is what the op wants, her to take the item

But she can't sue to cancel the contract, there is NO frustration here, the item is there ready to collect!

MyrrAgain · 13/12/2023 14:53

Ask for her bank details and transfer it over. Then she can't say she never got the money. Then block her. but give her a telling off beforehand. Maybe deduct 10% for admin 😂

GladioliandSweetPeas · 13/12/2023 15:51

MercanDede · 12/12/2023 23:35

From a legal standpoint you don’t have a leg to stand on.

she has the legal right to change her mind prior to taking possession of the item no matter how long that is. 9 hrs is nothing.
you have no right to keep her money unless you have it in writing with her signature that she agrees it is a non refundable deposit.
she didn’t ask or demand you take down the adverts, that was your decision. You could have legally sold it to someone else and then told her sorry, you never completed the transaction, I have a buyer that is willing to proceed, so here is your money back.

Incorrect as the buyer has paid! So the contract is complete. Do your research

Sexlivesofthepotatomen · 13/12/2023 16:00

MyrrAgain · 13/12/2023 14:53

Ask for her bank details and transfer it over. Then she can't say she never got the money. Then block her. but give her a telling off beforehand. Maybe deduct 10% for admin 😂

OP has explained why she can't do a bank transfer

Sexlivesofthepotatomen · 13/12/2023 16:01

VioletBeauregardeTheFirst · 13/12/2023 13:53

Have you even read OP's posts? The buy didn't collect the item, it was too big for her to take there and then so she gave OP the money to hold it for her

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