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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Marketplace buyer now wanting money back

110 replies

lonelylou09 · 12/12/2023 23:00

Aibu to refuse to refund?
So I advertised something on marketplace. A lady messaged saying she definitely really wanted it so we organised a time during my lunch break for her to come and view it, which she did.
She said she had wanted one for ages so was really keen to have it.
Asked me if I'd lower the price so I did by a bit, wanting a quick hassle free sale.
She then insisted on paying for it upfront as she didn't want me to sell it to someone else even though it was a large item so she wasn't able to take it then..All sorted.

Then she spent 10 minutes (after paying) second guessing herself wether it was right for her. I gave her several opportunities to have the money back if she didn't feel happy..no pressure at all.
She hummed and hahhed and said ...no I want it so it's fine. I said 'are you absolutely sure because I'll give you the money back now?'
She said ' no I'll take it'.

So it was left with me saying I'd remove all the adverts and let the other people know it had been sold and wait for her to say when she could collect it.
Deleted all the adverts for it and she's just messaged now saying she's changed her mind and wants her money back.

I will more than likely give her money back but I really feel like saying I'm sorry ..you've wasted an hour of my time, you insisted on giving me the money upfront and you said from the first message you really wanted it.
I missed having lunch to meet her. Then I have to arrange to meet her again to refund her...plus redo the advert and wait again for them to be processed and approved.
Would I be being unreasonable to say no? It's yours come and collect it please. Or deduct some of the refund for my wasted time?
Wwyd?

OP posts:
Original poster
lonelylou09 · 13/12/2023 00:09

@MercanDede of someone bought something second hand from an individual after personally seeing and handling the item then unless it is faulty there is nothing wrong with not refunding them on a mind change.

OP posts:
Original poster
lonelylou09 · 13/12/2023 00:15

@whynotwhatknot no 9 hours is not long, but she contacted me about the item, she wanted to come and view it ..which she did...she insisted she wanted it and insisted she paid for it there and then ..even though she couldn't remove the item until another date.
She could of had the money back at any time..she refused.
If she had thought about it and then changed her mind without paying ..fair enough..even if she had left a deposit and changed her mind ..fair enough...but she insisted she bought the item then and there!

OP posts:
littlemousebigcheese · 13/12/2023 00:17

You say other people were interested so I'd just give her the money back and relist it. It's too awkward otherwise as you'd have to be there when she collected it and who knows what could happen? She could bring burly mates to intimidate you, or get really angry and it's just not worth it in my eyes. Tell her it's frustrating as you gave her several opportunities to have the money back at the time but that you're happy to refund. Then just relist, resell and move on ♥️

VeniVidiWeeWee · 13/12/2023 00:18

lonelylou09 · 12/12/2023 23:21

@VeniVidiWeeWee what do you mean by 'buyer beware' ?

For private buyers the legal phrase is caveat emptor.

It means, unless the law explicitly says otherwise, the buyer cannot change their mind unless the the seller has misrepresented the item for sale.

But, IANAL.

WiddlinDiddlin · 13/12/2023 00:18

Nah, its now her item you're kindly storing for free for a short period. She bought it, as seen, there and then.

Tell her:

'Sorry, I double and triple checked with you before taking your money, gave you several chances to change your mind. That cash has now gone to farrier/feedstore/bottomless pit that is horses and I can't refund. I suggest you collect it by X date and sell on if it doesn't suit you'.

GladTidyings · 13/12/2023 00:26

Ugh deal with this sort of stuff all the time. Sometimes avoid marketplace altogether, at least with postage you’re not beholden to people umming and aahing in the build up or on the doorstep!
I’m skint so lately have been selling any which way. Had a buy turn up to buy something tonight, from ebay. I insist on PayPal upfront but he was already messing me around and I just wanted the items gone so agreed to take cash on collection.
he fumbled around with loads of change, started counting it then gave up and dropped it in my hand saying ‘it’s all there’ and swiftly left.

i could see it wasn’t all there, counted afterwards and it was only a bit out but still bloody rude!
I hate being messed around, I’ve got less tolerant with time, I tend to shut down sales early on if someone’s giving me awkward vibes.
someone asked me so many crazy questions about an item currently selling new so info freely available, plus my listings are always very thorough.
It was a higher value item and I didn’t want to get the money and then refund her, she bothered me so much that in the end I refused to sell it to her.
she found me selling it on other platforms and reported me to every platform for refusing to sell to her!
had some shockers when giving away freee stuff too, really rude, demanding, grabby and ungrateful .
on the flip side I have made friends from marketplace etc and during a really sticky patch lately I’ve earned a much needed few hundred quid from clutter.
i sometimes regret the things I didn’t sell and gave away but it really is a lot of work so sometimes I just have to let it go.
i still have mucho clutter but hoping I can sell some more and have just sorted two big charity bags.

Umtydumpy · 13/12/2023 00:27

Personally I'd agree to refund and relist it now at a slightly higher price so that she thinks she was getting a bargain (as no doubt she will see it), she will no doubt be in touch to say she actually does still want it then..if not just tell her to come and pick the money up as I don't see why you should have to go out of your way again.

Original poster
lonelylou09 · 13/12/2023 00:30

@littlemousebigcheese well it would all be recorded if she did something like that as there is CCTV there.
I've messaged the other person who was interested to see if they still want it for an easy solution but I do feel like it's her issue now and if she has changed her mind then she can sell it on herself and have the hassle of time wasters.
If I was selling something that then didn't work or didn't fit ect I'd be more than happy to refund

OP posts:
Original poster
lonelylou09 · 13/12/2023 00:37

@GladTidyings I know it's normally all a mine field of people driving prices down, being late or not turning up or then demanding they come now to collect or else!
I wasn't in a rush to sell and had 2 other people Interested so I didn't want to take the money until it was going anyway...she could of asked me to hold it while she thought it through but she didn't.
I had a guy turn up and do that to me with the money when I sold my car. He drove the price down before viewing anyway..came to view.. agreed an even lower price and then short-changed me! I pulled him up and he said he was short as he stopped for coffee and food on the way and would drop it round for me 🤣🤣 never saw him again but the car was back up for sale days later at treble the price

OP posts:
Weddingblues23 · 13/12/2023 00:40

Its a windup but id just send the money back by transfer and be done with it. It's not worth the anguish. It takes approx 1 min to put an ad up on marketplace.

Original poster
lonelylou09 · 13/12/2023 00:40

@Umtydumpy I'd have to arrange to meet her again as I'm not giving her my home address as well.
Yes I probably will just refund her and relist as I don't like bad feeling with anyone but came on here to vent as I'm annoyed about it!

OP posts:
Original poster
lonelylou09 · 13/12/2023 00:44

@Weddingblues23 yes I get that but it's taken a couple of days already for the adverts to all go through and be approved so it's not just the waste of 1 minute to rewrite the advert. Plus it's right before Christmas so I've got better things to do!
She had several opportunities to leave it ..even after she had insisted on paying.

OP posts:
KissyMissy · 13/12/2023 00:59

She's an annoying time waster!

Sproutier · 13/12/2023 01:00

I would refund and relist I think.

She still has plenty of potential to mess you round with the collection. I'd rather gamble on someone else than her at this point. Strictly no holding due to your recent experience.

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 13/12/2023 01:05

Tell her she's paid you for it so she owns it now and if she no longer wants it she can sell it on .

mjf981 · 13/12/2023 01:11

I'd be very annoyed.
But in the interest of karma...I'd just transfer the money back to her bank account and re-list it. Then block her.

Weddingblues23 · 13/12/2023 01:11

lonelylou09 · 13/12/2023 00:44

@Weddingblues23 yes I get that but it's taken a couple of days already for the adverts to all go through and be approved so it's not just the waste of 1 minute to rewrite the advert. Plus it's right before Christmas so I've got better things to do!
She had several opportunities to leave it ..even after she had insisted on paying.

Yeah I get that it's annoying and she's messed you around, but I really don't think it's worth the drama, I'd just start fresh. (My marketplace ads get put up instantly 🤔 not saying yours don't, I'm just interested as to why there would be a delay)

mjf981 · 13/12/2023 01:14

I had something similar. Someone who desperately wanted my sofa, willing to pay asking price, would be there in 2 hours etc etc. I cancelled all other people (had 5 lined up to see it).
He didn't show up. I asked him why. No response. So I sent him a blunt message calling him out on it and blocked him.
Marketplace is very hit or miss.

MixedRaceMuslim · 13/12/2023 01:22

I would give her the money back but I would waste some of her time in the process.. Maybe run late by a lot or get stuck in traffic. It might make her think twice next time lol.

VeryGoodVeryNice · 13/12/2023 02:13

If it’s a Haybar then she’ll have no problem selling it on if she doesn’t want it. Her problem not yours, you’ve already sold it…to her!

coldcallerbaiter · 13/12/2023 02:18

Agree she is a time waster but in the end unless she has the goods, you have to refund and block

VeronicasCloset · 13/12/2023 06:10

MercanDede · 12/12/2023 23:35

From a legal standpoint you don’t have a leg to stand on.

  • she has the legal right to change her mind prior to taking possession of the item no matter how long that is. 9 hrs is nothing.
  • you have no right to keep her money unless you have it in writing with her signature that she agrees it is a non refundable deposit.
  • she didn’t ask or demand you take down the adverts, that was your decision. You could have legally sold it to someone else and then told her sorry, you never completed the transaction, I have a buyer that is willing to proceed, so here is your money back.

Are you legally qualified because this advice is inherently wrong.

It’s a private transaction.

ElGrump · 13/12/2023 06:30

Tell her she can have her money back once you have resold it. Then repost and resell. Teaches her a lesson and also means you definitely have sold it to someone.

NigelHarmansNewWife · 13/12/2023 06:41

VeniVidiWeeWee · 13/12/2023 00:18

For private buyers the legal phrase is caveat emptor.

It means, unless the law explicitly says otherwise, the buyer cannot change their mind unless the the seller has misrepresented the item for sale.

But, IANAL.

Show quote history

Caveat emptor/buyer beware doesn't mean you can't change your mind when buying something. It means that the buyer alone is responsible for checking the quality and suitability of goods before a purchase is made.

It's more commonly used in the UK in relation to buying property because it is down to the buyer to carry out all the searches and checks before exchanging contracts.

OP just refund her money. She probably wants it, but it's a lot of money to her. Relist now and ask her to come to you for the cash. If you met her at the yard where your horse is, ask her to meet you at the yard at a convenient time for you.

Mumtime2 · 13/12/2023 06:44

Refund and relist.
Relating takes a quick time
Pay on collection or bank transfer while they stand infront of you.
This is why marketplace can be frustrating.
Always make arrangements to suit you not the buyer and do not go without lunch!
Having said that will you likely run into this person ever?
(I got a cat once and the woman returned to take it back the following evening...so awkward so weird,,, meet elsewhere always!) I kept the cat!