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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School Nativity Ticket Debate

106 replies

AnInchOfGrinch · 12/12/2023 20:44

DS is in reception and this week is his first nativity play. However there has been a bit of a sour atmosphere amongst some. I’m actually on the fence and can see it from both sides, interested to hear thoughts.

Our School has a rule of “two guaranteed tickets per child” for anyone wanting to attend. It’s a reasonably large school with two classes per year so can see the need for this rule - roughly 160 children do the nativity play. This is Reception, Y1, Y2.

if you want any extra tickets they are allocated first come first served and you have to register on a wait list for them. I was delighted to get one so will be going with my DM and MIL.

this rule however obviously causes issues for some. There is a set of twins in the Y2 class and some parents aren’t happy that because of the two tickets per child rule they have four guaranteed tickets a year and grandparents have been able to come every year while some haven’t been able to get a ticket for a step parent every year. Likewise if you have a child in Y2 and a child in reception you will have 4 guaranteed tickets for the play.

I understand the frustration of you are constantly missing out. They only do the nativity for 3 years so I’d be gutted if my DM never got to go to one.

I also think there has to be some sort of rule/way of doing it and if they were trying to make exceptions for everyone it would be a nightmare for the school.

AIBU to think there’s probably no better way of doing it?

OP posts:
Original poster
AnInchOfGrinch · 12/12/2023 20:46

I also think it would be much easier if -

  • you are guaranteed four tickets but only need three you let the school know, don’t just waste your spare ticket.
  • get yourself organised and get on the waiting list as soon as it opens. A lot of parents are disorganised and then complain when they miss out IMO
OP posts:
PuttingDownRoots · 12/12/2023 20:49

Some schools do two tickets per family not per child.

Roundycippae · 12/12/2023 20:49

Wise up. Is this HONESTLY what people get in a lather about?
My parents never got to see the school nativity when my kids were in it - everyone survived the trauma.

Booboocars · 12/12/2023 20:50

We only got two with no waiting list. That seems to be the way it is - if there is not enough space, not much the can do!

It is easier and equal to give every child two - I’m not sure the school has the time or will to look at who has step parents etc.

mrsed1987 · 12/12/2023 20:51

We only get 2 per child. No extras.

Radiat · 12/12/2023 20:51

The school will never be able to satisfy everyone’s needs. They can only do their best. Ours does an additional show, a couple of days before the final one, free of charge for grandparents to attend. My mum works so still misses out, but many others can make it, so it eases up the need for the “main show” tickets a bit.

Original poster
AnInchOfGrinch · 12/12/2023 20:54

Honestly props to all the Prep teachers out there right now because I couldn’t take the stress any time let alone all the Christmas madness 🤣

OP posts:
takealettermsjones · 12/12/2023 20:55

They could live stream it and give a password to families to access.

SnapdragonToadflax · 12/12/2023 20:55

Ours is two tickets per family, regardless of how many children you have. Very simple and fair. They do one morning performance and two evening.

VeganNugsNotDrugs · 12/12/2023 20:55

Our school do more than one showing - unwanted tickets for whichever day are returned and given to people who want extra and it means there's some choice over attending on a day that works best around work and other commitments.

WowOK · 12/12/2023 20:56

We actually were allowed 2 parents per child. However, the church was over capacity and people were allowed in based on the order they arrived. Lots of people were turned away.

Behindyouiam · 12/12/2023 20:57

@AnInchOfGrinch YABU for treating your DM and DMIL the same, that's against Mumsnet rules.

Ploctopus · 12/12/2023 20:59

it should be two tickets per immediate family, not 2 tickets per child. That would be a very simple fix.

homeishere · 12/12/2023 20:59

My children attend a prep school and we can take as many guests as we like. There’s also wine, beer, non-alcoholic options and mince pies before hand. Sadly no guaranteed seating though, so one does have to arrive early.

Sirzy · 12/12/2023 21:00

Schools have to do the best they can with the capacity they have. It really is a case of “you can’t please all the people all of the time”

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 12/12/2023 21:00

Our school does 2 showings, 2 tickets for each showing per family (not per child). No extras available.

So this year DP and I went to 1, and DM and DF went to the other.

I do think tickets allocated per family is fairer than per child.

Advicepleaze · 12/12/2023 21:00

I work in a school and I can tell you that there is NO pleasing everyone, there’s always someone who isn’t happy. We are all busy and trying to deal with the children as well as complaining parents can be challenging!

Dinneronmybfpillow · 12/12/2023 21:00

Want to know all the things that aren't 'fair' when you have twins?

I can give you a list if you want 😁 As a twin mum, I'll take whatever silver lining I can get!

Original poster
AnInchOfGrinch · 12/12/2023 21:01

I personally think the extra ticket thing is great though. It opens it up for Step parents to come for example. I like to think of I was SM to a small child I would want to come and see them too if possible

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 12/12/2023 21:02

I can’t get worked up about it, I don’t expect schools to come up with a ticket allocation algorithm, or to spend time sifting through 100 odd kids to work out siblings and cross years.
Its two tickets deal with it.

Has made we wonder if I should offer up my spare ticket to the class Whatsapp-
my husband can’t come

Behindyouiam · 12/12/2023 21:02

Dinneronmybfpillow · 12/12/2023 21:00

Want to know all the things that aren't 'fair' when you have twins?

I can give you a list if you want 😁 As a twin mum, I'll take whatever silver lining I can get!

And you bloody deserve it!

PostmansKnock · 12/12/2023 21:02

PuttingDownRoots · 12/12/2023 20:49

Some schools do two tickets per family not per child.

Yes they do then people say that because they are separated they are two families. Or that because they are in family care living with grandparents then they are three families.

Two per child is less controversial.

Original poster
AnInchOfGrinch · 12/12/2023 21:03

Dinneronmybfpillow · 12/12/2023 21:00

Want to know all the things that aren't 'fair' when you have twins?

I can give you a list if you want 😁 As a twin mum, I'll take whatever silver lining I can get!

Hats off because one toddler is breaking me at the moment, I can’t imagine two the same age 😂😂

you deserve the perks lol

OP posts:
Winniespooh · 12/12/2023 21:03

Ours is 2 per family and there's a cut throat black market on the Whatsapp group for any spares.

Original poster
AnInchOfGrinch · 12/12/2023 21:04

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 12/12/2023 21:02

I can’t get worked up about it, I don’t expect schools to come up with a ticket allocation algorithm, or to spend time sifting through 100 odd kids to work out siblings and cross years.
Its two tickets deal with it.

Has made we wonder if I should offer up my spare ticket to the class Whatsapp-
my husband can’t come

I bet someone would really appreciate it

OP posts: