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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School Nativity Ticket Debate

106 replies

AnInchOfGrinch · 12/12/2023 20:44

DS is in reception and this week is his first nativity play. However there has been a bit of a sour atmosphere amongst some. I’m actually on the fence and can see it from both sides, interested to hear thoughts.

Our School has a rule of “two guaranteed tickets per child” for anyone wanting to attend. It’s a reasonably large school with two classes per year so can see the need for this rule - roughly 160 children do the nativity play. This is Reception, Y1, Y2.

if you want any extra tickets they are allocated first come first served and you have to register on a wait list for them. I was delighted to get one so will be going with my DM and MIL.

this rule however obviously causes issues for some. There is a set of twins in the Y2 class and some parents aren’t happy that because of the two tickets per child rule they have four guaranteed tickets a year and grandparents have been able to come every year while some haven’t been able to get a ticket for a step parent every year. Likewise if you have a child in Y2 and a child in reception you will have 4 guaranteed tickets for the play.

I understand the frustration of you are constantly missing out. They only do the nativity for 3 years so I’d be gutted if my DM never got to go to one.

I also think there has to be some sort of rule/way of doing it and if they were trying to make exceptions for everyone it would be a nightmare for the school.

AIBU to think there’s probably no better way of doing it?

OP posts:
Birch101 · 12/12/2023 21:04

Would have thought 2 per family would be easy enough - excel spreadsheet of all kids involved and some duplication formatting on things like surname, address and contact number to see who lives together. All other tickets first come first serve.
Someone will always complain.

mynameiscalypso · 12/12/2023 21:04

Is our school odd in that there's no ticket allocation? There will be 4 of us tomorrow. I did ask the class teacher about said it was fine but I'm worried I'll commit some kind of faux pas!

Original poster
AnInchOfGrinch · 12/12/2023 21:06

Behindyouiam · 12/12/2023 20:57

@AnInchOfGrinch YABU for treating your DM and DMIL the same, that's against Mumsnet rules.

😂😂

Grannies are sacred and should be treated so!

OP posts:
LaurieStrode · 12/12/2023 21:06

takealettermsjones · 12/12/2023 20:55

They could live stream it and give a password to families to access.

This! It's so cheap and easy now to transmit the video. Why on earth would they not?

Fionaville · 12/12/2023 21:07

My kids primary school did daytime and nighttime performances, so everyone got to see it. No tickets, as there was plenty of room that way. Most grandparents went to the daytime show. It was lovely and seems the best solution.

floorprotector · 12/12/2023 21:09

This reply has been deleted

This is a previously banned troll so we've removed their posts.

floorprotector · 12/12/2023 21:10

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Behindyouiam · 12/12/2023 21:11

@floorprotector plenty of MNs would invite the postman before their evil, controlling, nasty MIL ... it's quite a MN thing.

LoveBluey · 12/12/2023 21:13

I see your angst and raise you. Our school only does a nativity play in reception and for us that was a covid year so we didn't get to go and watch it. Now that's it, there will never be another nativity for us to go and see so that's an experience we just won't have.

We did ask if they would do one in Y1 as we had missed out but that was a no so I have to make my peace with it.

There will be a class play in the summer this year but it's not the same!!!

HunterHearstHelmsley · 12/12/2023 21:13

Fionaville · 12/12/2023 21:07

My kids primary school did daytime and nighttime performances, so everyone got to see it. No tickets, as there was plenty of room that way. Most grandparents went to the daytime show. It was lovely and seems the best solution.

There was a thread recently about the fact that teachers then have to do unpaid overtime and a lot of children can't return for evening performances.

It's hard because whatever seems like a simple solution never is 😔

LakeTiticaca · 12/12/2023 21:15

2 tickets per family is probably the fairest way. Most school halls have limited space so it's unrealistic to expect Uncle Tom cobbly and all to be able to attend.
My mum never came to my kids nativities, she didn't live local, my gran never came to mine and she lived next door but one to us 😅
Everything seems to be so performative nowadays.
Oh for the good old days when life was so much simpler 😉

WimbyAce · 12/12/2023 21:17

Ours is just 2 tickets per child. And then if they had any left it was 1st come 1st served for more. But I couldn't get involved with grandparent politics so I kept that bit quiet so just me and my partner going.

Locallady2 · 12/12/2023 21:19

At my child's school it's the same, and they ask to let them know if you don't need two tickets to increase the chances of others being able to get extra. We took MIL this year as she's going through a difficult time. Next year if I can get an extra one again I'll take my mum to make it fair.

Original poster
AnInchOfGrinch · 12/12/2023 21:21

This reply has been deleted

This is a previously banned troll so we've removed their posts.

We applied for two extra tickets but only got one. So, DH has agreed to look after the baby while I go with DM & MIL. Otherwise we probably would have just gone together? He’s been to plenty of Gymnastic displays/sports matches so doesn’t really feel like he’s missing out and the Grannies are very excited.

Last year he was the only one of us that could go to the Nursery Christmas carols so swings and roundabouts

OP posts:
MrsEG · 12/12/2023 21:22

As a parent to twins, it is so extraordinarily rare we’re ever provided a perk I’d be letting that part slide 🤣

floorprotector · 12/12/2023 21:23

This reply has been deleted

This is a previously banned troll so we've removed their posts.

SpringingJoy · 12/12/2023 21:23

I think your schools way of doing it is perfect. Sure there will always be outliers, people with more than one dc in those years that benefit from 'extra' tickets - but it's still the fairest way overall without it turning into an admin nightmare.

Our schools allocation was a total shitshow this year. There were 3 performances. They decided to make ALL tickets first come first served, max of two per child per performance. But none guaranteed.

Cue some parents booking six tickets, two for each performance, and doling them out to relatives. Then they all sold out, some parents were left with none and shit hit the fan. The headmaster had to send an email out warning that abuse towards staff wouldn't be tolerated. People were going wild, they had to turn off comments on the school Facebook page 😬

I'm guessing that next year it will be back to two guaranteed tickets per child then opened up for spares (which is what's always been done until someone made a grave error this year!).

Original poster
AnInchOfGrinch · 12/12/2023 21:24

This reply has been deleted

This is a previously banned troll so we've removed their posts.

I answered that I said we would probably have just gone together… i.e decline the extra ticket?

Is it really that weird

OP posts:
Sirzy · 12/12/2023 21:27

LaurieStrode · 12/12/2023 21:06

This! It's so cheap and easy now to transmit the video. Why on earth would they not?

Show quote history

any performance will most likely have a handful of children who for whatever reason can’t be shown on social media/shared videos. From a child protection pov it’s not a simple answer at all.

and then there is the fact it needs a staff member to set it up in amongst the rest of the chaos of getting everyone in place!

MimiSunshine · 12/12/2023 21:27

Ours is 2 per parent(s) so if you have a reception child and a year 2 child you still only get 2.

people moan that “technically they miss out and should have 4 tickets” and use the line, it means grandparents have never been able to go.
they don’t seem to grasp that parents with only 1 child in the nativity also don’t get to take grandparents either as they also only get 2 tickets.

Behindyouiam · 12/12/2023 21:32

@AnInchOfGrinch sorry, my tongue in cheek comment seems to have caused an issue! Not sure what glue @floorprotector is sniffing tonight!

Original poster
AnInchOfGrinch · 12/12/2023 21:34

Behindyouiam · 12/12/2023 21:32

@AnInchOfGrinch sorry, my tongue in cheek comment seems to have caused an issue! Not sure what glue @floorprotector is sniffing tonight!

I thought it was funny tbh

don’t know why @floorprotector was so determined for me to hate my MIL

OP posts:
BakewellGin1 · 12/12/2023 21:41

Our Reception children do two different dates. One 9.30am and one 2.00pm to allow people to take off as little time from work as possible.

All children are allocated two tickets for each date then it's up to parents to decide who goes

We did myself and grandparent and myself and DH. Due to no contact we only have one grandparent to sort.

snoopyfanaccountant · 12/12/2023 21:46

When DD23 was in the nativity, it was in the local church so there were no tickets. When it was DD20's year's turn, it was moved from the church to the school hall at the last minute because of weather; the request was that only parents attended but many families turned up with multiple grandparents - it was standing room only and a friend and her then partner were juggling 3 preschoolers on the side of the hall.
After that, the school incorporated its nativity into the Christmas concert in the school hall and every family in the school was allocated 2 tickets.

PinkPurpleYellowandGreen · 12/12/2023 22:04

Ours is one ticket per child in first instance, then an extra ticket per child if there's space (usually is, as our school do Nursery and Reception Nativity, Key Stage 1 (years 1 and 2) Nativity, then Lower Key Stage 2 (Years 3 and 4) Carol Service and Upper Key Stage 2 (Years 5 and 6) christmas themed musical).

No more than 2 per child though - it does come up unfair to some, like a friend has twins in Year 5 and an older 1 in Year 6, so some years she's had 6 tickets.