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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School Nativity Ticket Debate

106 replies

AnInchOfGrinch · 12/12/2023 20:44

DS is in reception and this week is his first nativity play. However there has been a bit of a sour atmosphere amongst some. I’m actually on the fence and can see it from both sides, interested to hear thoughts.

Our School has a rule of “two guaranteed tickets per child” for anyone wanting to attend. It’s a reasonably large school with two classes per year so can see the need for this rule - roughly 160 children do the nativity play. This is Reception, Y1, Y2.

if you want any extra tickets they are allocated first come first served and you have to register on a wait list for them. I was delighted to get one so will be going with my DM and MIL.

this rule however obviously causes issues for some. There is a set of twins in the Y2 class and some parents aren’t happy that because of the two tickets per child rule they have four guaranteed tickets a year and grandparents have been able to come every year while some haven’t been able to get a ticket for a step parent every year. Likewise if you have a child in Y2 and a child in reception you will have 4 guaranteed tickets for the play.

I understand the frustration of you are constantly missing out. They only do the nativity for 3 years so I’d be gutted if my DM never got to go to one.

I also think there has to be some sort of rule/way of doing it and if they were trying to make exceptions for everyone it would be a nightmare for the school.

AIBU to think there’s probably no better way of doing it?

OP posts:
Windwaysway · 12/12/2023 22:06

Dinneronmybfpillow · 12/12/2023 21:00

Want to know all the things that aren't 'fair' when you have twins?

I can give you a list if you want 😁 As a twin mum, I'll take whatever silver lining I can get!

This 100%

have you ever thought how hard it can be with twins? Bloody hell the parents of the twins get a little silver lining and the rest of you are frothing over it!
🙄

SuperBored · 12/12/2023 22:10

Lol by yr6 you will not care who attends out of the family...I had to go today as.no one else wanted to go...neither did I, but one of us had to show up. Thankfully the last one I think I will have to attend.

thelonemommabear · 12/12/2023 22:10

Dinneronmybfpillow · 12/12/2023 21:00

Want to know all the things that aren't 'fair' when you have twins?

I can give you a list if you want 😁 As a twin mum, I'll take whatever silver lining I can get!

As a fellow twin mum I totally agree 👏 👏

thelonemommabear · 12/12/2023 22:13

Oh and by the way had you sent your child to a Catholic school there would likely be nativity all the way up to year 5 😉

Busybodyb · 12/12/2023 22:37

Do people really fight to attend! I would have paid money not to go. My DH never went so I had to go to all performances .

JudgeJ · 12/12/2023 22:46

Roundycippae · 12/12/2023 20:49

Wise up. Is this HONESTLY what people get in a lather about?
My parents never got to see the school nativity when my kids were in it - everyone survived the trauma.

Totally agree and whatever any school does about tickets or anything will annoy someone.

JudgeJ · 12/12/2023 22:49

AnInchOfGrinch · 12/12/2023 21:06

😂😂

Grannies are sacred and should be treated so!

Show quote history

But the maternal grandmother usually trumps the paternal on MN!

booktokbear · 12/12/2023 22:58

The next problem op will be working out which side of the hall you need to sit on to see your DC! And making a dash for it and the front when the doors open 😂😂😂😂😂

Girlsjustwannahavefundamentalrights · 12/12/2023 22:59

Another one with twins saying I'll take my four tickets, thanks very much, and refuse to feel guilty!

Why should all the singleton children get 2 tickets but the twins only get one ticket each? That's how it used to be when i was growing up - these days schools thankfully treat twins as individuals, not just as half a person. Our school gives 2 tickets per child across 2 performances. Me and dh are going to one performance, grandparents are going to the other.

44PumpLane · 12/12/2023 23:00

Another twin Mum here wholeheartedly agreeing with @Dinneronmybfpillow !!!!

There is so little opportunity where twin parents get a specific "win", honestly don't be trying to take this from us! 😂

Ladybugandflowers · 12/12/2023 23:04

Live streaming it would cause even more issues - as for some children (like ours!)
permission isn’t given for their photos to be shared either internally or externally so it would cause a huge headache for the staff!

justmewithmylifetoday · 12/12/2023 23:06

We only get two tickets per child and they only do nativity in Reception.

GeorgeBeckett · 12/12/2023 23:06

@LoveBluey see if your local church does a crib service for the children. Many do and the children are able to be in the nativity which is created by the children in the congregation as the service goes along.

LittleMissQuiz · 12/12/2023 23:08

Well we only get one per child - y6 have the option of a second ticket but only y6.

this isn’t a nativity but a Christmas performance as it’s only KS1 that do a nativity, and this is a CoE school

child is y4 so only managed one nativity in R before lockdowns and missed out on the rest.

c’est la vie.

YerAWizardHarry · 12/12/2023 23:12

Went to see our lower stages nativity this morning, promise you’re not missing out on much 😬

Postapocalypticcowgirl · 12/12/2023 23:15

Live streaming itself is cheap and easy, but the camera and sound equipment to do this at a reasonable quality isn't. Those suggesting this as a solution perhaps should donate the required equipment to their school? And volunteer to come and set it up before hand!

But even with this in place, there will be some families/children where this isn't safe or possible, so would exclude some children.

SuperBored · 12/12/2023 23:16

@44PumpLane I would say there are lots of wins with twins...you never have children at different schools, you never have different school holidays/inset days for different children, you don't have to spend two different evenings going to nativity/parents evenings/open evenings, or keep abreast of what children in different years are supposed to be learning

Gooseysgirl · 12/12/2023 23:16

Two tickets per family at our school

SD1978 · 12/12/2023 23:19

Should be 2 perfectly, so I can completely understand the frustration- one family could end up with 6 tickets whilst another family only have 2. Whilst it doesn't seem important to some people, when you're considering blended families I can see the frustration- I don't think the school is doing this the fairest way.

meatbaseddessert · 12/12/2023 23:28

YerAWizardHarry · 12/12/2023 23:12

Went to see our lower stages nativity this morning, promise you’re not missing out on much 😬

Haha. My parents never saw a single nativity I was in. They were working and in those days you couldn't just take time off. I seem to have handled the trauma.

They made no bones about the fact that they definitely didn't mind missing it! I seem to remember I agreed with them.

lanthanum · 12/12/2023 23:31

SuperBored · 12/12/2023 23:16

@44PumpLane I would say there are lots of wins with twins...you never have children at different schools, you never have different school holidays/inset days for different children, you don't have to spend two different evenings going to nativity/parents evenings/open evenings, or keep abreast of what children in different years are supposed to be learning

Those are only wins if you have twins and no others, or an only child.
Parents evening at secondary can be a nightmare for parents of twins, as it can be very difficult to get round two sets of teachers. At least now the appointments are booked online - back in the day the best they could do was tell one child only to book appointments in the first half and the other only the second half. And I dread to think what two sets of university open days is like.

SleepingStandingUp · 12/12/2023 23:42

It should be two per family, register for waiting list and that's for an extra 1 until everyone has got an extra one then a second if there's seats left.

MasterBeth · 12/12/2023 23:45

homeishere · 12/12/2023 20:59

My children attend a prep school and we can take as many guests as we like. There’s also wine, beer, non-alcoholic options and mince pies before hand. Sadly no guaranteed seating though, so one does have to arrive early.

Well done.

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 12/12/2023 23:47

My kids school does a 2x reception nativity performances and 2x combined year 1 and 2 Christmas concerts, no tickets, you just turn up. If you don't get a seat you stand at the back.

Never been a problem yet!

SleepingStandingUp · 12/12/2023 23:50

Busybodyb · 12/12/2023 22:37

Do people really fight to attend! I would have paid money not to go. My DH never went so I had to go to all performances .

Is it so hard to believe some parents might want to see Thier kids do something they're really excited for / have worked hard for?

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