I’m ready to give up on life because nobody is taking this seriously

[tiredandgrumpyy]

I am sorry to post again. No pictures this time, I promise.

Most of those reading will know the story, heavy rectal bleeding, prolapse and abdominal pain.

Admitted last Tuesday, discharged last Friday morning. Admitted again Saturday night.

The Sunday morning I saw a surgeon on the ward and they were really dismissive of me and I ended up sobbing. They discharged me after telling me they would fast track me to the colorectal surgeons because “no one will see you now, it’s a Sunday, do you expect a colorectal surgeon to see you now? what do you want me to do, call them up and tell them they need to get to work?” when I said I don’t feel well enough to go home he said “stay in then, I don’t know what you want me to do about it” rolling his eyes at his team, and walked off.

I stayed at home yesterday despite bleeding all day. Last night at around 2am, I woke up to go to the toilet again as it’s been non stop diarrhoea, and became so dizzy I collapsed and fell face first on the hard corner of the sofa, my nose and head is bruised.

Today has been hell. I have been on the toilet non stop, this morning it was just blood which wouldn’t stop even after going to the toilet. I don’t even know how many times I’ve been to the toilet with diarrhoea too.

I called the number for the colorectal department today and the secretary has said I’ve been referred for an appointment but it’s marked as ‘non urgent’ so it’ll be at least a 6-12 month wait to be seen. She hung up the phone when I got upset.

At 6:30pm I went to the toilet and I have bled for one hour straight. It’s dark, thick blood. I’d estimate around a mug - 1.5 of just blood, which continued in my underwear for 15 minutes after.

Today in total I would estimate about 2-2.5 mugs of blood.

I became so dizzy and couldn’t walk properly without being all over the place.

My partner has taken me to A&E, I was seen straight away and I’m waiting for bloods and I’m on a trolley. My blood pressure was high, not low, my heart rate was 125 but oxygen levels fine. Tummy is cramping and head really hurting.

Im so scared to be here. I have no one here with me as usual. My mum is very dismissive so wouldn’t come with me and my partner is at home with our DS.

I feel like a nuisance and I already want to cry because they must be sick of me by now. I don’t want to be seen as that ‘hypochondriac’ but it’s my only option because my GP always advises it’s A&E I need and not them.

Over the last two months I have lost £6,000 in monthly recurring revenue and I spend my life on the sofa or on the toilet. I am becoming so heavily depressed because I need help.

I don’t have friends nearby because I’ve recently moved. I have no one to be here to advocate for me and I become so nervous now that I struggle to talk without blubbering.

Please, I need help tonight, if anyone has any wide words on how I can best advocate myself, how I get them to listen, what I can say to make them listen, I would so appreciate it.

I am no longer coping and am at a point where I no longer want to be here.

I’m so sorry to post again. At this point it’s one of my only outlets and I don’t know where else to turn.

Just came and saw the update, I really hope that you get sorted out by now OP.

Sending you strength and peace @tiredandgrumpyy and best wishes that everything is coming together now and you've been properly seen to and looked after.

What a disgrace.

It may be more helpful if you dial 111 and get admitted by ambulance. I think they may take you more seriously with that route of admission.

This is simply not true! I have worked in ED. I can promise you that you won't get preferential treatment for turning up in an ambulance. You'll be triaged in the same way and I'd say you're more likely to be treated with an unsympathetic eye roll if you've called an ambulance unnecessarily.

ED will treat objectively, not based on emotion especially when it's overwhelmed.

That said OP your situation sounds objectively pretty horrendous... I really hope you get sorted soon xx

Hope you are feeling better op. Agree a chaperone would be helpful for you to feel less alone and more heard. If they dismiss you again can you go to a different A&E?? Wishing you well asap xxx

Well for a start under a properly funded system there eouldnt be waiting lists of 6-12 months to even see a consultant. You realise its not normal to have to wait months/years to even see someone right?

In a properly funded health system one shit doctor wouldn't just derail your care. Illnesses would be treated in a timely manner rather than being left to become so urgent that you have a whole thread if mumsnetters thinking wtf?

In a properly funded health system the OP would have been seen months ago when her flare started.

Contact pals now. Email them and ask that someone helps advocate for you. They might not do it but you’ll have a paper trail if you complain

I was left alone in adrenal crisis and did that

You’ve been treated appallingly, I hope you get some answers soon ❤️❤️

I hope things improve for you this afternoon @tiredandgrumpyy - is DP there with you? I think having a man there unfortunately does help - it bloody shouldn’t but there’s a lot of evidence around women’s needs and desires being ignored in healthcare. And is so hard to advocate for yourself when you’re in pain.

All the very very best for today.

I was reading your updates yesterday and I'm so glad you are being seen. Stories like yours need to be seen by the usual NHS cheerleaders who blame lack of staff that leads to poor care. It's not - it's also poor processes, poor organisation, and a poor attitude to patients who need medical help outside of the Monday - Friday 9-5.

One of the questions you were asked is what you expected them to do, and they can hardly call the C-R surgeon at home to come in. Well actually, yes they can, if someone is bleeding out with no treatment - it used to be that consultants would go in on their off-hours (or be available by phone) for cases the less-experienced medics couldn't handle themselves. There's a reason they are on 6 figure salaries and it's not just the skills needed, it's the antisocial / on-call hours too.

That is great progress OP. Hope he stays there with you until you get your op. You are the priority now.

In 99% of the dealings with the NHS I have had over my elderly parents, when something went badly wrong, the cause was a communication breakdown between two different departments. Honestly, the systems and standards of communication within the NHS are shocking.

I know lack of resources and poor management contribute to this as huge amounts of money have been wasted on the wrong technology. Also lack of resources probably played a part in op’s case too because where there is lack of clarity over whether a case is surgical or medical, relative budgets are material to the decision.

Op I’m so sorry that this appalling saga is still ongoing and that you are still being treated in a corridor. I hope you get some proper help soon.

Thinking of you OP - shocking response considering your medical history.

Can't really add anything to what's already been said @tiredandgrumpyy but wanted to post just sending you my thoughts and prayers that you get sorted soon and they are finally going to help you. 💐

You've bled 2.5 mugs full In a day and aren't being taken seriously? That would be about 700-800ml of blood. That's shocking op and I'm so sorry you are not only going through this but also not getting any support from your hospital. What do they want you to do? Surely you cant just be left bleeding like this? I've got no useful advice and I know they seething on your behalf won't help but just wanted send some good wishes. Hope it gets sorted soon.

Thinking of you OP - hope they get their act together today and have some answers for you.

I also have UC and it's the appalling how you have been treated.

Ask for PALs details, there might even be an office in the hospital you DH can go to speed things up - but also email and start a paper trail x

I hope you’re being treated now and are in a proper ward. Definitely complain to PALS when you feel up to it.
Your iron levels will be through the floor - my ferritin was 8 after having an emergency c/s 20+ years ago and losing 600ml! They offered a transfusion, but I was ok symptom-wise so said no.

I'm so angry on your behalf about the way you've been treated. I wish I was there I'd bloody shout back at rhe twat dr. Who the fuck do they think they are. This is why I roll my eyes at calling all nhs workers hero's...they're bloody not.

I have just seen this thread and I remember your last thread. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you, it sounds awful. I think your best bet would be to contact PALS at your hospital. I've always found them to be very good. Email them - you can copy and paste what you put in your original post. Follow it up with a phone call. I really hope this gets resolved for you quickly. Sending best wishes x

I have been wondering what happened after your last thread. I hope the fact that you haven't updated since this morning means that you have been whisked into surgery. I really hope things get sorted for you soon.

Hope your are OK OP.

Generally unless the surgeons are going to do an operation immediately, being under the medics is a lot better.

Hope it is all ok now (or very soon!). What a shower of shit! I hope your partner has contacted PALS on your behalf. I also really think you should go to the papers. This is truly appalling! I am glad you have your partner with you now as even Atilla the Hun would find it hard to fight his corner with your condition (whatever it is).

While I have never had a problem like yours I have always been treated well in hospital/walk ins, they have been very thorough and described everything very well.

When my GP's surgery were not at all interested in seeing me when I got breathless, I went to a walk in and thanks to them I was diagnosed with heart failure! Suddenly the GPs were interested......

Best wishes to you OP. I'm so sorry you're going through this. It seems to me that if things weren't so stretched in the NHS it is obvious that from a clinical perspective you need in-patient observation as a minimum and treatment. It is so wrong that they try to fob people off because there aren't enough resources. I imagine that is what is happening here. You've clearly got to be at death's door to get any help. I hope you get the help you need and have a right to, today.

Im so very sorry. The utter callous arrogance of some members of the medical profession is breathtaking. I so hope you're being helped today.

I really hope that you're getting the treatment you need now, OP.

What you've been through is really shocking. I hope you feel up to making a complaint when this is resolved.

I find this story absolutely terrifying, I’m so sorry OP. What a disgrace. There is absolutely no excuse for medical staff treating you like this. They should be ashamed of themselves.