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I’m ready to give up on life because nobody is taking this seriously

286 replies

tiredandgrumpyy · 12/12/2023 20:36

I am sorry to post again. No pictures this time, I promise.

Most of those reading will know the story, heavy rectal bleeding, prolapse and abdominal pain.

Admitted last Tuesday, discharged last Friday morning. Admitted again Saturday night.

The Sunday morning I saw a surgeon on the ward and they were really dismissive of me and I ended up sobbing. They discharged me after telling me they would fast track me to the colorectal surgeons because “no one will see you now, it’s a Sunday, do you expect a colorectal surgeon to see you now? what do you want me to do, call them up and tell them they need to get to work?” when I said I don’t feel well enough to go home he said “stay in then, I don’t know what you want me to do about it” rolling his eyes at his team, and walked off.

I stayed at home yesterday despite bleeding all day. Last night at around 2am, I woke up to go to the toilet again as it’s been non stop diarrhoea, and became so dizzy I collapsed and fell face first on the hard corner of the sofa, my nose and head is bruised.

Today has been hell. I have been on the toilet non stop, this morning it was just blood which wouldn’t stop even after going to the toilet. I don’t even know how many times I’ve been to the toilet with diarrhoea too.

I called the number for the colorectal department today and the secretary has said I’ve been referred for an appointment but it’s marked as ‘non urgent’ so it’ll be at least a 6-12 month wait to be seen. She hung up the phone when I got upset.

At 6:30pm I went to the toilet and I have bled for one hour straight. It’s dark, thick blood. I’d estimate around a mug - 1.5 of just blood, which continued in my underwear for 15 minutes after.

Today in total I would estimate about 2-2.5 mugs of blood.

I became so dizzy and couldn’t walk properly without being all over the place.

My partner has taken me to A&E, I was seen straight away and I’m waiting for bloods and I’m on a trolley. My blood pressure was high, not low, my heart rate was 125 but oxygen levels fine. Tummy is cramping and head really hurting.

Im so scared to be here. I have no one here with me as usual. My mum is very dismissive so wouldn’t come with me and my partner is at home with our DS.

I feel like a nuisance and I already want to cry because they must be sick of me by now. I don’t want to be seen as that ‘hypochondriac’ but it’s my only option because my GP always advises it’s A&E I need and not them.

Over the last two months I have lost £6,000 in monthly recurring revenue and I spend my life on the sofa or on the toilet. I am becoming so heavily depressed because I need help.

I don’t have friends nearby because I’ve recently moved. I have no one to be here to advocate for me and I become so nervous now that I struggle to talk without blubbering.

Please, I need help tonight, if anyone has any wide words on how I can best advocate myself, how I get them to listen, what I can say to make them listen, I would so appreciate it.

I am no longer coping and am at a point where I no longer want to be here.

I’m so sorry to post again. At this point it’s one of my only outlets and I don’t know where else to turn.

OP posts:
Cuba2005 · 13/12/2023 16:07

tiredandgrumpyy · 12/12/2023 20:36

I am sorry to post again. No pictures this time, I promise.

Most of those reading will know the story, heavy rectal bleeding, prolapse and abdominal pain.

Admitted last Tuesday, discharged last Friday morning. Admitted again Saturday night.

The Sunday morning I saw a surgeon on the ward and they were really dismissive of me and I ended up sobbing. They discharged me after telling me they would fast track me to the colorectal surgeons because “no one will see you now, it’s a Sunday, do you expect a colorectal surgeon to see you now? what do you want me to do, call them up and tell them they need to get to work?” when I said I don’t feel well enough to go home he said “stay in then, I don’t know what you want me to do about it” rolling his eyes at his team, and walked off.

I stayed at home yesterday despite bleeding all day. Last night at around 2am, I woke up to go to the toilet again as it’s been non stop diarrhoea, and became so dizzy I collapsed and fell face first on the hard corner of the sofa, my nose and head is bruised.

Today has been hell. I have been on the toilet non stop, this morning it was just blood which wouldn’t stop even after going to the toilet. I don’t even know how many times I’ve been to the toilet with diarrhoea too.

I called the number for the colorectal department today and the secretary has said I’ve been referred for an appointment but it’s marked as ‘non urgent’ so it’ll be at least a 6-12 month wait to be seen. She hung up the phone when I got upset.

At 6:30pm I went to the toilet and I have bled for one hour straight. It’s dark, thick blood. I’d estimate around a mug - 1.5 of just blood, which continued in my underwear for 15 minutes after.

Today in total I would estimate about 2-2.5 mugs of blood.

I became so dizzy and couldn’t walk properly without being all over the place.

My partner has taken me to A&E, I was seen straight away and I’m waiting for bloods and I’m on a trolley. My blood pressure was high, not low, my heart rate was 125 but oxygen levels fine. Tummy is cramping and head really hurting.

Im so scared to be here. I have no one here with me as usual. My mum is very dismissive so wouldn’t come with me and my partner is at home with our DS.

I feel like a nuisance and I already want to cry because they must be sick of me by now. I don’t want to be seen as that ‘hypochondriac’ but it’s my only option because my GP always advises it’s A&E I need and not them.

Over the last two months I have lost £6,000 in monthly recurring revenue and I spend my life on the sofa or on the toilet. I am becoming so heavily depressed because I need help.

I don’t have friends nearby because I’ve recently moved. I have no one to be here to advocate for me and I become so nervous now that I struggle to talk without blubbering.

Please, I need help tonight, if anyone has any wide words on how I can best advocate myself, how I get them to listen, what I can say to make them listen, I would so appreciate it.

I am no longer coping and am at a point where I no longer want to be here.

I’m so sorry to post again. At this point it’s one of my only outlets and I don’t know where else to turn.

Oh sweetheart, my heart really goes out to you. I’d be an emotional wreck aswell if I was you. Okay, so this 100% needs seeing to as urgent, scans, test the lot!! You have to keep on at them!! This sounds serious and the quicker you know what’s going on the better!!! I really hope your mum starts being more supportive. Tell her how you feel. Honestly is the best policy. Do your research on what could be happening with you, knowledge is power!!! You can ask questions to the doctors, if you’re clued up. And reach out to friends and family. Please don’t feel alone!! Message me if you need to chat!! I don’t want anyone to feel like they have nobody, I know what that feels like. Stay strong and think positive xx

gotomomo · 13/12/2023 16:13

I'm hoping that the lack of posts means you have had emergency surgery.

If they are still messing you about and you can get to Bristol I can recommend an excellent surgeon here who has treated Dp twice (congenital condition runs in his family alas but similar symptoms)

SeaViewLove · 13/12/2023 16:20

Best wishes OP ♥️

SignoraItaliana · 13/12/2023 16:55

I do hope you are feeling a bit better and are getting the treatment you need to get well again.

tiredandgrumpyy · 13/12/2023 17:17

Hi everyone, sorry for the lack of update. Well, what an afternoon. I saw a medic at 12pm who was absolutely brilliant. My DP was in the room with me and he listened, apologised, took me very seriously and said this shouldn’t have happened. He has admitted me and said that he won’t allow me to leave without something being done and a plan put into place. I had lots of fluids throughout the day but haven’t slept, I’ve been awake 32 hours now so am truly exhausted.

He has said that over the next few days I will be seen by both surgeons and gastro teams so that they can liaise and actually plan together. I have an IBD nurse and IBD consultant coming to me in the morning. I also have a CT scan happening tomorrow. At the moment they’re being good with pain relief and I finally got a bed (a side room thankfully!) on a ward at 2:30pm.

I have to say, A&E was super busy so I do understand the stress however the nurses were awful, completely unsympathetic, accusing me of lying when relaying what a doctor had told me re: beds, and telling me beds were being prioritised for the elderly rather than those who ‘weren’t as poorly as them’ and that ‘IBD doesn’t entitle me to special treatment’ (all I had asked was whether I was still high up on the list to have a bed two afters after another doctor told me I was next).

Anyway, I’m so tired and feeling so emotional because I can’t think straight. My little boy came to see me and didn’t want to leave and I blubbered like a baby. But I know I need to get better for him to be the best mum I can be so that’s my thinking process right now.

I’m going to watch some Netflix and eat, and shower and catch back up on this thread a little bit later.

I’m hoping this is my last time in hospital for the foreseeable - the medic was very insistent that it’s both a surgical and a medical issue and is making sure both teams intervene. Nurses on this ward are lovely too which helps!

Thank you all so much for all of your support. I could not have done it without this thread despite DP being here, I took the advice and went in calm and collected and mentioned things I wouldn’t have thought of without the help of this thread which were truly helpful.

I am so grateful to this community for all of the advice and support. I have felt very alone and nervous about seeking help further but the advice has been fantastic and has definitely helped in me being admitted and taking seriously. Thank you so much.

OP posts:
BarkHorse · 13/12/2023 17:23

So pleased to see this update and that finally they are taking you seriously. Rest up OP

SeaViewLove · 13/12/2023 17:24

Fantastic update OP. Well done for not giving up. Best wishes for the next few days xxx

tiredandgrumpyy · 13/12/2023 17:25

I won’t lie either, the hospital food is pretty good too. Can’t go wrong with a cheesy bean jacket potato! Haha

I’m ready to give up on life because nobody is taking this seriously
OP posts:
Ladybirder · 13/12/2023 17:27

I'm so sorry this is happening to you, both the pain/ bleeding and the awful way you are being treated. When thing like this happen you just want to be looked after and treated, you shouldn't have to fight for the treatment you need. I don't have any advice other than to make sure you make lots of notes, ask to see any test results (bloods etc) and take photos of the results (even if its off a comp screen). Do not be discharged but if they do specifically ask why they regard you as being well enough to go home and write down the names of every member of staff you interact with and what they tell you. You can do Subject access requests for previous time you've been to hospital - do this and then issue a complaint via PALS even if they do treat you this time - the way you've been treated so far is disgraceful. Please take some comfort in that we all care about you and want you to get better xx

itsgettingweird · 13/12/2023 17:27

I'm so glad you've been listened too.

It's not acceptable to be brushed off with high levels of bleeding.

Hope you get some answered and a solution soon Flowers

Mirabai · 13/12/2023 17:31

I’m delighted you’ve finally received proper support.

Mirabai · 13/12/2023 17:32

tiredandgrumpyy · 13/12/2023 17:25

I won’t lie either, the hospital food is pretty good too. Can’t go wrong with a cheesy bean jacket potato! Haha

Looks vile to me but if you’re happy I’m happy for you. 🤣

Ladybirder · 13/12/2023 17:36

Ladybirder · 13/12/2023 17:27

I'm so sorry this is happening to you, both the pain/ bleeding and the awful way you are being treated. When thing like this happen you just want to be looked after and treated, you shouldn't have to fight for the treatment you need. I don't have any advice other than to make sure you make lots of notes, ask to see any test results (bloods etc) and take photos of the results (even if its off a comp screen). Do not be discharged but if they do specifically ask why they regard you as being well enough to go home and write down the names of every member of staff you interact with and what they tell you. You can do Subject access requests for previous time you've been to hospital - do this and then issue a complaint via PALS even if they do treat you this time - the way you've been treated so far is disgraceful. Please take some comfort in that we all care about you and want you to get better xx

Just seen your update - thank goodness!! I'm so pleased you've been listened to. I hope your surgery and other treatment goes okay. Take care of yourself and rest up. xx

47th · 13/12/2023 17:37

Horrendous treatment. How much more blood can they expect you to lose before you collapse? Not hyperbole. I’m curious though.

@tiredandgrumpyy - will they check your iron levels? Just a thought.

very best wishes OP

LardyCakeAgain · 13/12/2023 17:47

I agree with @47th - tell them about the 2.5 mugs of blood loss (which is at least a pint) and ask for a full blood count test for iron etc. I have experience of being brushed off with horrendous bleeding from fibroids, and just got used to feeling dreadful & tired all the time - covering the carpet and furnishings with flooding - until my GP took a blood test & sent me to A&E for an emergency blood transfusion. I had to leave work & go in, because I was at risk of a heart attack! It was only then that the NHS put me on a treatment pathway for urgent surgery.

Lilibert456 · 13/12/2023 17:48

Thank goodness you are at last being taken seriously. Sending you wishes for a swift recovery. 🌺

Charlieradioalphapapa · 13/12/2023 17:50

Thank goodness you are finally starting to get the care you need by the people who can do something to sort this out. What a nightmare. Keep going and hoping you soon have a treatment plan in place 🤞🏼

Minfilia · 13/12/2023 17:53

I remember your previous threads, it’s been utterly horrific for you.

Im sorry you’ve been so repeatedly failed. It’s inexcusable. Fingers crossed you’ll be on the up now you’re admitted and being listened to though!

CormorantStrikesBack · 13/12/2023 17:54

I’m sorry to hear you’re back in hospital but also glad that you are. It’s where you need to be. Really hope they come through for you this time. If not I think asking to be referred back to your old hospital is a good idea.

CormorantStrikesBack · 13/12/2023 17:55

Mirabai · 13/12/2023 17:32

Looks vile to me but if you’re happy I’m happy for you. 🤣

Ha ha. Thought the same

Pizdietz · 13/12/2023 18:17

Oh hurraaaaaaah OP for finally being treated properly, in all senses.

Good luck with it all and enjoy that hospital food, you weirdo 😋

Bordesleyhills · 13/12/2023 18:35

Read the first and the last page- so glad your getting there but so sorry you’ve been through it

Sleeplessinseattle234 · 13/12/2023 18:35

I’m pleased ur getting the help u really need.

Datafan55 · 13/12/2023 18:42

Great news OP. Have been checking on your thread all day!

JackieQueen · 13/12/2023 18:47

Very pleased for you op, hope you're feeling better soon and back home with your family💐

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