I’m ready to give up on life because nobody is taking this seriously

[tiredandgrumpyy]

I am sorry to post again. No pictures this time, I promise.

Most of those reading will know the story, heavy rectal bleeding, prolapse and abdominal pain.

Admitted last Tuesday, discharged last Friday morning. Admitted again Saturday night.

The Sunday morning I saw a surgeon on the ward and they were really dismissive of me and I ended up sobbing. They discharged me after telling me they would fast track me to the colorectal surgeons because “no one will see you now, it’s a Sunday, do you expect a colorectal surgeon to see you now? what do you want me to do, call them up and tell them they need to get to work?” when I said I don’t feel well enough to go home he said “stay in then, I don’t know what you want me to do about it” rolling his eyes at his team, and walked off.

I stayed at home yesterday despite bleeding all day. Last night at around 2am, I woke up to go to the toilet again as it’s been non stop diarrhoea, and became so dizzy I collapsed and fell face first on the hard corner of the sofa, my nose and head is bruised.

Today has been hell. I have been on the toilet non stop, this morning it was just blood which wouldn’t stop even after going to the toilet. I don’t even know how many times I’ve been to the toilet with diarrhoea too.

I called the number for the colorectal department today and the secretary has said I’ve been referred for an appointment but it’s marked as ‘non urgent’ so it’ll be at least a 6-12 month wait to be seen. She hung up the phone when I got upset.

At 6:30pm I went to the toilet and I have bled for one hour straight. It’s dark, thick blood. I’d estimate around a mug - 1.5 of just blood, which continued in my underwear for 15 minutes after.

Today in total I would estimate about 2-2.5 mugs of blood.

I became so dizzy and couldn’t walk properly without being all over the place.

My partner has taken me to A&E, I was seen straight away and I’m waiting for bloods and I’m on a trolley. My blood pressure was high, not low, my heart rate was 125 but oxygen levels fine. Tummy is cramping and head really hurting.

Im so scared to be here. I have no one here with me as usual. My mum is very dismissive so wouldn’t come with me and my partner is at home with our DS.

I feel like a nuisance and I already want to cry because they must be sick of me by now. I don’t want to be seen as that ‘hypochondriac’ but it’s my only option because my GP always advises it’s A&E I need and not them.

Over the last two months I have lost £6,000 in monthly recurring revenue and I spend my life on the sofa or on the toilet. I am becoming so heavily depressed because I need help.

I don’t have friends nearby because I’ve recently moved. I have no one to be here to advocate for me and I become so nervous now that I struggle to talk without blubbering.

Please, I need help tonight, if anyone has any wide words on how I can best advocate myself, how I get them to listen, what I can say to make them listen, I would so appreciate it.

I am no longer coping and am at a point where I no longer want to be here.

I’m so sorry to post again. At this point it’s one of my only outlets and I don’t know where else to turn.

Direct and indirect advice from knowledgeable medics has been supplied here. I hope that @tiredandgrumpyy (exceptionally knowledgeable about her condition) is benefiting from the support demonstrated and getting some much needed rest.
For those fortunate not to have experienced emergency medicine in the UK in 2023, I hope this thread conveys some of the issues that folks will be voting on in the next 12 months.

Oh my god! This us horrendous! I am so angry on your behalf. And that's terrifying. I'm so sorry I don't know what you should do. PALs I guess? Write everything down, factually? It is so scary how you're being treated.

I'm on the outskirts of London, a relative in the Midlands received excellent treatment after being delivered by ambulance, it's a postcode lottery and many of us seem to be losing

I think that's more down to luck rather than the fact they went by ambulance. Our local hospital has had people sitting in ambulances waiting to be seen for 8/10 hours. 2 of my colleagues had to do a hospital watch recently. Arrived at the hospital at 1430 & spoke briefly to paramedics in the car park. They left the hospital just before 2100. They were still sitting with their patient on board It's a crazy system that the ambulance and crew have to wait with the patient & have the ambulance off the road all that time.

Arriving by ambulance is doing nothing for how quickly they're triaged let alone treated

No advice but sending you love

@tiredandgrumpyy Op, I'm so angry for you and wish I could help more.

Here's the link for NHS complaints:

https://www.nhs.uk/contact-us/how-to-complain-to-the-nhs/

If your partner is with you perhaps they can do it for you. I'd also likely copy my MP / Health Minister on the details. I'm in Canada, but we have similar systems.
Does the hospital itself (and/or Health region?) have a dept for complaints as well?
Sending support. 💐

I'm sure you're right that medic advice has been supplied here, but - especially on a serious question - it still makes more sense to me to choose a forum where there is a better likelihood of knowledgeable people checking in there.

im so angry on your behalf :( I wish you lived in London, you could walk straight out and not be far from another major trauma, highly attentive hospital. I hope your husband has reached you now and is advocating for you zx

Stand your ground and refuse to leave until someone owns your problem.

My daughter has had an awful 6 years with gynae not believing her, the poor girl now has complex PTSD due to their gas lighting treatment. We had to find another surgeon in the end at another hospital.

Do contact PALS, I’d also try your local M.P. They have offered to help my daughter to complain about the vile treatment she received, When a person is at their most vulnerable they treat you like shit, it’s not bloody right.

We had to pay privately in the end, could you afford a consultation ? It’s approximately £220 on average, depending on where you live.

I didn’t clap for carers during Covid, we’d had some vile treatment and some of the nurses were absolute cow bags.

I feel your pain, I was the voice for my daughter, but it took me a while to stand up to them. I hope you get sorted, it makes me so fucking angry the way they treat such vulnerable patients, they need to change their profession if they no longer have compassion. You take care and I hope you find the strength to stand up to them.

I remember your other thread op and I'm really sorry you're still so unwell
It's outrageous that they have hardly acknowledged how serious your condition is.
I hope DP is now with you

I'm so sorry, that's really awful. I hope you are being treated now.

Glad your partner can make it in to support you OP. The hospital sounds awful, is there another within a reasonable distance you can attend if you don't get anywhere tonight (although hope you do)? We would take this very seriously and would admit someone and carry out the necessary investigations as a priority.

I’d just like to highlight this post. I hope no update means you’ve been helped this time.

Not remotely true. We triage everyone and many who think ambulances get them seen quicker just get triaged to sit in the waiting room. That and there aren't really ambulances available for critically ill so would be an incredibly long wait so I'd get myself to hospital if at all possible

Op sorry you've been treated badly. Just ask to stay in until you've had further investigations (ogd and or colonoscopy). Dark blood tends to come from the upper gi tract which isn't colorectal, they cover lower gi which is normally bright red blood. You'll need further investigation which somewhat depends on age and other symptoms. Ask for your iron to be checked too as likely to need supplements. Just ask to stay in until you have a plan x

Just a handhold OP, Hope that you will get sorted today. Big hugs.

Highlighting this as well. Hopefully you are in good care.

OP I’m astounded by what I’m reading. I really hope you’re being looked after this time - was your partner allowed in? Where I live this still isn’t allowed. Thinking of you.

I haven't read all of the comments, but here's a couple of thoughts in case they are helpful:

-Your heart rate is abnormally high. Unless they are able to bring that down, they can't discharge you.
-You can't be discharged under these circumstances and being in this condition physically. The non-urgent appointment for surgery is a mistake; it happens. But don't leave until it is changed.
-Refuse to be discharged. If you're not being helped, you can actually call PALS whilst you are still an inpatient. Do it.
-You must speak up and communicate fully about everything going on for you, continually. You will be temporarily forgotten otherwise because staff are busy.
You are not a nuisance and you are not a hypochondriac. Please remember you have rights and medical staff have a duty of care. You can, to a large extent, dictate what happens to you. If doctors disagree or decline, they have to explain their decision making process to you, and if it's incorrect, again, you can inform them.
-Is your pain being managed well with the medication being given to you?
-Are you being given medication to stop the diarrhoea and bleeding?
-Are you being given IV fluids to counteract the fluid loss?
-What are your bloods showing?
-Move to a gastroenterology ward so the consultant there can make sure you get sorted. Ask to go there.
-What is being done to bring your heart rate down and why is it high? These are questions to ask and they have to tell you.
-I know you feel unwell but I suggest documenting everything that happens, for PALS and/or a complaint. Also read your charts and your documents - you have the right to see them. It also makes you better informed to advocate for yourself.

Please update us, and I hope you are okay.
Lots of medical staff here and we can help you out.

Formal complaint against that sort of behaviour towards you is for certain you need to follow through as much as your need for decent care.
What is wrong with these professionals!
Hopefully you can get some success with your needs and horrendous treatment.

Take a support person please!

Morning OP, I am so sorry you're going through this.
If this hospital isn't meeting your needs then please present at a different one!! Do a little research to see where has a great gastro team.

My husband became incredibly ill with similar symptoms and was diagnosed with severe UC. He was in a terribly bad way for a few months, unable to work, lost 13kg, on the loo 15 times a day. Our local hospital was dismissive, slow moving and incredibly unhelpful. A Dr there even told us to go to a different hospital 90mins away that is known for its gastro department. So we did just that. Southampton hospital was Incredible. They kept him in for two weeks and were incredibly thorough and he's now on a treatment plan that he's responding to with regular check ups and phone calls.

Wishing you all the best

i am so sorry mn is your only outlet,
i would ask to go back to st marks although would that make it hard for visitors?

Just seen you're in sessex Op. if you're anywhere near Tunbridge Wells, if you are able, get to Pembury hospital.

There's a gastro consultant there called Mr Laws who is one of the most compassionate people I have ever met. The entire team there are fantastic. I'm in East Sussex (admittedly on the Kent border) and refuse to go to any of our local hospitals, always go to pembury.

I'm sorry to see this. OP will be weak from the blood loss. Her body may compensate for a time but she'll become anaemic as this goes on. She needs someone to advocate for her. I hope her partner is now doing this and saying things like head injury cause by blood loss. Unsafe to discharge.

Doctors are under intense pressure - we need more medical staff. That does not excuse the surgeon who should have ensured OP was seen by someone from the relevant specialty even if that meant bring a colleague in from home. When OP is better she should put in a complaint.

Sounds like the surgeons put op on the list and his part is done in his mind but not considering the medical needs right now. Pals are the only way I know of to get staff to do their jobs in hospitals.

Hi everyone, still not been decided what’s happening. I saw an A&E doc at 12am who was lovely. I had been told I had been referred to surgeons, but apparently there was a lot of back and forth before the surgical and medical teams to decide whose care I should be under. Apparently they decided medics. I’ve been waiting for them to come round ever since, have been bleeding and on morphine all throughout the night in a corridor on a trolley. Really hoping someone sees me soon because at this point I feel too tired to think about what I’m even going to say to them.

Thank you for the update considering the state you are in. You are likely now having to wait on the ward round this morning which can take ages depending on where they start and where you are in the ward. Thinking of you. And I thought NHS Scotland was bad....