Health visitor insisting on coming

[cherrypie95]

I have an appointment with the HV tomorrow and I text her to re arrange for when my son has had his 8 week vaccinations.

I live in a city where we are now having an outbreak of Whooping Cough so I am quite concerned about this.

The HV was supposed to be weighing my son and told me "she has to come and weigh him".
All other checks were done a few weeks ago and was fine.

I have been told that the HV service is optional and I dont appreciate being bullied into something I am not comfortable with.

Am I being unreasonable and how would I go about this as the HV is adamant that she is still coming round.

I explained in the text that as soon as my baby had had his vaccinations she can come every week if she wants.

My main concern is I was not able to have the WC vaccine and there is an outbreak in my area, I am only doing what I think is best for my baby.

It’s not compulsory but I can see why your reason for cancelling may be concerning for the HV from the POV of your anxiety levels/mental health.

It's Christmas and New Year when the checks are due. HV probably wants to see people early as she won't be doing visits when you should be seen.

After the 6-8 week check the next contact is the 9-12 month review if you’re in England.

Exactly. Avoiding HV appointments and making excuses why they can't come will be a factor where babies are being abused or the mother/parents are struggling.

Obviously not saying that's what's happening here, but HVs want to have eyes on the baby, mother, house/environment and weigh the baby, so they can reassure themselves that everything is OK, especially as the OP rearranged by text so could have come from anyone.

There will be cases where the mother is also being abused and controlling partners will message the HV to put them off because they don't want her to ask for help.

The HV booked in the 6/8 week check for the first week of January.

Also isn’t the WC vaccine part of the 6 in 1 which is given in 3 doses so won’t be “fully vaccinated” until 16 weeks? If all vaccines able to happen on time!

Can you not go to a drop in clinic for a weigh in? Although in terms of illnesses it’s probably safer to have the HV come to your home. It’s highly unlikely she will pass on whooping cough. You’re more likely to catch it in the supermarket.

Ah, if you’ve chosen not to vaccinate then this is the first of many awkward back and forths with health professionals in all likelihood. All you can do is keep declining I guess, until you feel comfortable.

Can't you just go to the baby clinic? They used to like babies weighed weekly but I don't remember them ever coming to you unless you had issues

I opted out with my child. Had to meet with the HV once though (she was very pushy) I guess so she could see DD was being cared for. I signed a document to confirm my refusal and haven’t heard from them since.

She maybe wanting you check on you post natal anxiety wise if your showing anxiety around whooping cough.

Yes this can annoy people as can the health visitors persistence in general

HOWEVER it's often health professionals dragged through court when they don't look out for signs or miss or dismiss.

Ummm I bet she is just trying to ensure you actually get seen by someone pre Christmas.
GP will see you 6-8 weeks and first immunisations are at 8 weeks.
She will have been checked off as having been immunised to Whooping cough by the NHS. OH is very careful on all these.
The check she is doing will not just be a weight it will also be on your mental health. Quite frankly with the anxiety you are displaying on this thread I would suggest this is probably needed.

For everyone who is saying op out can I remind you children are actually killed and injured by parents regularly in this country. You no doubt all act horrified that nobody had checked on a family every time this appears in the news.
Let me point out that health visitor is probably the only professional who will enter the home of a child. These visits are important. If you think it's pointless fine but it doesn't hurt you to let the health visitor in to do a weight and check you are ok. By everyone accepting the service children are saved. So stop telling people to opt out.
You have no idea what this womens circumstances are or her mental health!
She could have a severe mental health problem, she could be living in a cold and dirty home, she could have an abusive partner ( the HV might even be aware of this more than the women herself ) please just stop and think.

Hopefully it is just an anxious mother and a thriving baby but we don't actually know this do we?

Oh okay, I know the service is optional but wasnt aware that you could opt out completely from it.

I have no issues with her coming after DS has had his first set of vaccinations, but she isnt taking no for an answer and still pushing to come.

The HA did provide us with good advice and we found her to be really nice and helpful, I had a better experience with her than any of the MV that I saw during my pregnancy.

Why don't you want your baby weighed

You can completely opt out , I haven't had a HV for my last two children.
What adverse reaction did you have to your last whooping cough vaccine that was more serious to your life than whooping cough itself would potentially be to your baby?

Its not about not wanting him weighed.

Where I live there is an outbreak of Whopping Cough and due to suffering an adverse reaction I was advised not to have the vaccine.

I am asking if she can come after he has had the first set of vaccinations.

She is trying to get in her nationally mandated contacts that all health visiting teams are monitored on.

Whooping cough is no excuse you can pick that, norovirus, covid etc up from going to get the vaccines! The 6-8 week check is really important for weighing, safeguarding and new mum advice - I would be concerned as a HV if you were cancelling on that basis - and I mean concerned in a supportive way.

They even did it during covid. It is important.

OP I mean this kindly, you aren't making a lot of sense. Why do you think your health visitor will gove the baby whooing cough ? Were you never vaccinated as a child ? Why not ask her directly if she is vaccinated but as I said I don't think her visit is about your baby getting weighed or your reluctance is about whoung cough.

You are correct, it's a service that you can decline. Just like dental appointments and wellbeing check ups for adults.
She is being extremely cheeky stating that due to her annual leave your rights to decline need to be ignored.
If a health professional has already attended your home to weigh your child there are a few possible reasons for the pushiness:

The original notes from that visit have been misplaced or the visitor was not qualified to give any decisions on the results.

The original visitor raised a concern with a colleague. Could be about you, father, the environment, where the baby sleeps but it's not concern enough for it to be a safeguarding.

The second visitor just wants to take credit and tick all boxes. Google her name and see if anyone else has mentioned her being a pain in your area.

Either way, you need to be firm. You do have not consented and you have no concerns about your child at this time.

You are correct, it's a service that you can decline. Just like dental appointments and wellbeing check ups for adults

Yeah cos declining these is such a good idea.

Health visting is in crisis in most areas, I think it is hugely unlikely anyone is doing this as a "tick box".

I get how you feel, I absolutely hated the HV situation. I was a good 15 years older than her and felt really patronised.

I was particularly annoyed that she insisted on seeing my stitches and became quite arsey when I said I didn't want to show her - she basically accused me of being OTT and started asking if I was 'OK' - I was absolutely fucking fine I just didn't want the woman in our bedroom or to show her my feckin' minge, thanks!

Absolutely hated the whole experience. It just felt forced and not 'supportive' or educative in the slightest.

It has always been the same HV that has always attended/ due to attend.

She said as my DS was 4 weeks early he has to be weighed.

The HV did advise us of this at the last visit as she was concerned about us bringing DS in to the clinic to be weighed ( as DS was 4 weeks premature )so she would rather come to us before she goes on annual leave.

It's really not vital that all babies are weighed frequently

If your baby is feeding well and appears healthy there's no need to weigh them!