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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Health visitor insisting on coming

102 replies

cherrypie95 · 12/12/2023 15:38

I have an appointment with the HV tomorrow and I text her to re arrange for when my son has had his 8 week vaccinations.

I live in a city where we are now having an outbreak of Whooping Cough so I am quite concerned about this.

The HV was supposed to be weighing my son and told me "she has to come and weigh him".
All other checks were done a few weeks ago and was fine.

I have been told that the HV service is optional and I dont appreciate being bullied into something I am not comfortable with.

Am I being unreasonable and how would I go about this as the HV is adamant that she is still coming round.

OP posts:
Notmetoo · 12/12/2023 16:21

Are you worried he will get whooping cough from her? That is extremely unlikely, I expect she had the vaccination when she was a child anyway. If that is the only reason you do sound over anxious and that is maybe why she is trying to persuade you to let her come.
It is up to you whether you let her visit but health visitors are extremely busy and you are lucky that she is offering a home visit.

Freshstarts24 · 12/12/2023 16:22

What centile was your baby on?

snuggleswithmygirlies · 12/12/2023 16:22

You're lucky to have a health visitor my dd turned 5 while on the waiting list for her 2 year check so never had one.

Freshstarts24 · 12/12/2023 16:22

Is it a 6-8 week check?

Balloonhearts · 12/12/2023 16:27

Just reply, No sorry, I won't be home but don't worry about weighing him before you go, he has his jabs on X date so they will weigh him then and we'll reschedule when you get back. Have a nice holiday! Thanks, Cherriepie

Mulhollandmagoo · 12/12/2023 16:30

I could be wrong, but I don't think they vaccinate against whooping cough in the early baby imms do they? that's why we are advised to have a whooping cough vaccination in pregnancy - so your baby will be covered by the vaccination you had in pregnancy.

Irrelevant though, as others have said, don't negotiate, just say, tomorrow isn't convenient and re-book

Ascubudr · 12/12/2023 16:33

cherrypie95 · 12/12/2023 15:38

I have an appointment with the HV tomorrow and I text her to re arrange for when my son has had his 8 week vaccinations.

I live in a city where we are now having an outbreak of Whooping Cough so I am quite concerned about this.

The HV was supposed to be weighing my son and told me "she has to come and weigh him".
All other checks were done a few weeks ago and was fine.

I have been told that the HV service is optional and I dont appreciate being bullied into something I am not comfortable with.

Am I being unreasonable and how would I go about this as the HV is adamant that she is still coming round.

She will have certainly have been vaccinated as an HCP, you should also have been offered a vaccine in pregnancy. However I suspect you don't want her to come round anyway.

Wolfpa · 12/12/2023 16:37

The health visitor is also there to do a general wellbeing check on baby and mother. I would be hesitant to make things more difficult.

It the tables were turned and a child was being abused I would expect half of these posters to be telling a completely different story and the health visitor would be blamed for not checking in.

Hereforthebunfights · 12/12/2023 16:44

This isnt bullying

HandyLittleGadget · 12/12/2023 16:46

If she turns up, be out or just don't let her in.

Issummernearlyover · 12/12/2023 16:51

I think that she's worried because of your anxiety about whooping cough. If you don't answer the door it will cause more red flags.

Just let her weigh the baby.

Original poster
cherrypie95 · 12/12/2023 17:17

Since the HV is an optional service and I dont feel comfortable letting her in I am not unsure why she is adamant she has to come.

I have not had the Whooping Cough vaccine due to a previous adverse reaction so of course I am concerned about it.

I do not see why I should be forced to do something in my own home when the service is optional.

I could understand if it was an Antenatal check up or scan or something but on the both occasions my baby has been weighed at my home ( once by the midwife and once by the HV ) my baby has been on point.

The HV even commented last time on how much we both love our son and she spent ages chatting to us after so I dont think there are any concerns on baby's welfare etc, she literally is just coming to weigh the baby.

OP posts:
Freshstarts24 · 12/12/2023 17:21

Ascubudr · 12/12/2023 16:33

She will have certainly have been vaccinated as an HCP, you should also have been offered a vaccine in pregnancy. However I suspect you don't want her to come round anyway.

Show quote history

I can confirm HV’s are not offered a whooping cough vaccine

Freshstarts24 · 12/12/2023 17:23

OP you didn’t say what centile your baby is on and whether the 6-8 week check has been done with the HV?

Ascubudr · 12/12/2023 17:25

Freshstarts24 · 12/12/2023 17:21

I can confirm HV’s are not offered a whooping cough vaccine

Show quote history

Even if not vacinated in childhood ?

IncompleteSenten · 12/12/2023 17:25

She's under no legal obligation to weigh him and you're under no legal obligation to let her in.

Don't believe her bullshit about having to. She may want to. She doesn't have to.

Arrange it for when it's convenient for you.

Or not at all. I was seeing hv as ordered with my first, thinking I had to. With my second I knew better and only took him when it was convenient for me.

Freshstarts24 · 12/12/2023 17:25

Seeing as you said the baby has only been weighed once by your HV I’m guessing that was the New Birth Visit and this is the 6-8 week. Although the service is optional, from the HV point of view the 6-8 week is a mandatory contact. They have a duty to carry it out within the time frame. She will get in trouble if she doesn’t.
If you are adamant you do not want her to come just tell her you are happy for her to document your refusal and tell her you will bring baby to clinic soon.

Freshstarts24 · 12/12/2023 17:26

Ascubudr · 12/12/2023 17:25

Even if not vacinated in childhood ?

Show quote history

I’m not sure tbh. I can’t remember what childhood vaccines occupational health request proof of.

Chipsahoyagain · 12/12/2023 17:27

snuggleswithmygirlies · 12/12/2023 16:22

You're lucky to have a health visitor my dd turned 5 while on the waiting list for her 2 year check so never had one.

Wow really I guess it's area dependent. I had my baby and they came soo many times. Always such a useless, pointless visit as my baby was being treated privately and had all the thorough checks done. They even made me come once to their centre just to ask me what do I think? I didn't know it was optional at the time, if I knew I would have cancelled all of them. I also didn't attend a final review of some sort and my gp called me to ask me to please do so!!
And that final review was a 40min questionnaire- such a waste of time for me personally.

JonjoMonjo21 · 12/12/2023 17:27

Agree with PP if u don’t answer and she’s insisting on coming they may be more to this story. And could raise more concerns. Just let her weigh the baby it takes like 10 minutes of your time.

Original poster
cherrypie95 · 12/12/2023 17:29

Freshstarts24 · 12/12/2023 17:23

OP you didn’t say what centile your baby is on and whether the 6-8 week check has been done with the HV?

Hi, baby is on 50th centille and he is 4 weeks old and has not yet had his 6/8 week check.

OP posts:
Ascubudr · 12/12/2023 17:31

Don't they have to do the whooley questionnaire ? To screen for PND ? I suspect this is at leastpart of the purpose for this visit. This check is very important, the increased rate of infant injury in the pandemic was partially attributed to the lack of f2f contact @ 6-8 weeks where problems might have been spotted.

Original poster
cherrypie95 · 12/12/2023 17:32

It is not a 6/8 week check, my baby is only 4 weeks old.

OP posts:
sprigatito · 12/12/2023 17:33

You absolutely do not have to engage with HVs if you don't want to. I found with my first child that they varied between useless and actively pernicious, so with my second I told them to leave us alone. They didn't like it but...tough.

Freshstarts24 · 12/12/2023 17:34

Ah 4 weeks is still so little. I know the service is optional but it really is best to do the initial contacts. They’ll be less ‘forceful’ once initial weights and the 6-8 weeks check is done. They have to do them. It’s important too. So much can get missed not doing these early checks. They will keep trying unless you formally ask to be completely discharged from the service. But if there has been any concerns at all, with your MH or anything, this could potentially raise flags with such a young baby.

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