Can I get compensation? Assaulted at hospital

[Plzstopthisstupidity]

Good evening Mumsnet

My sister recently announced she is pregnant and it brought back a memory of something I had buried.

5 years ago, I had a C-section. The day after in hospital, when I was recovering, a nurse grabbed me by the neck in a hallway of patients, staff and visitors and threatened me. She verbally and physically assaulted me.

I can’t discuss the reasons behind it but long story short was she verbally abused me in private (my room) and then when she heard me trying to complain, she grabbed me.

The manager of the maternity ward saw this and spoke to me. She apologised and comforted me. I was humiliated, sobbing and traumatised at the time.

I moved on. I still think about it… more so recently.

I was given the nurse’s name and found out that she is still working in the hospital (this was a year ago not sure if she is still there now).

I am starting to feel immensely angry about what happened. Part of me wants to take legal action.

Mumsnet: is there anything I can do? Is it worth even doing anything as it’s been so long since it happened?

just looking for ideas/advice - thank you!!

This. Thanks for your reasoned reponse and sorry you had to experience that hotpot.

I believe you too OP. Being humiliated and abused when you're at your most vulnerable is not something anyone wants to remember.

Feeling angry about it is a good sign. I'm sorry no-one was angry enough to put in a complaint at the time. Sounds like the manager slipped you the name because they didn't want to deal with it themselves. Bullies can scare their managers too. I hope I'm wrong.

OP

The people on this thread who don’t believe you have clearly not worked with some of the midwifes I have worked with!

Some of the older, more senior midwives were the worst, very disrespectful towards patients who have just been through trauma and are trying to deal with a newborn at the same time. Also displaying an almost inhuman lack of sympathy when things tragically go wrong.

You’ve said plenty of unpleasant things to the Op now, we all get it, you don’t believe her. So why not report and move on with your day now?

You could just choose to not respond then rather than be unkind to someone obviously struggling, by criticising the way they tell their story.

I’m very sorry that happened to you in your past though. It must have been extremely traumatic and I feel for you.

@Icopewhenihope truly you are one messed up individual. I did not “drip feed my rape” I explained my abusive relationship because you kept picking at holes in an anonymous story (where sometimes
small details are changed to protect anonymity even though even that is out the goddamn window now) rather than just following the basic polite rule of “stay quiet if you have nothing nice to say”

you are horrific
you are unkind
you have no compassion
you are using my assault and my seeking of support to make yourself feel better through cruelty and unkindness

OP - I believe you. The sad thing is the people who have no experience of this simply can’t imagine it can be possible, those of us who have experienced such behaviour know that it is and also know that it can be brushed aside.

Your opening question didn’t sound like it was about money to me, it was merely a throwaway question at the end of a response. People will focus on that though as a way to beat you when you’re down (look at nasty posters like @Erby who are clearly enjoying attacking you. It’s embarrassing and pathetic and the more people like that try to defend their infantile comments the more ridiculous they look).

Definitely look at the links you have been provided here and look into filing a complaint. If your recollection of the recording of the event is correct it will be there somewhere. I hope you get the help you need. And contact your GP about counselling - yes it’s a long wait, but it’s free and you’ll get it eventually. Xx

I’m sorry this happened to you.

I can well believe that witnesses didn’t say anything - people will have been frozen, and then they saw the manager come and take you away and they will have assumed it was being dealt with. The manager will have made a note, if only because she will have been expecting a complaint.

Please do raise it with the hospital.

Oh gosh OP what a harrowing story. It is never ever too late to complain. I would contact PALS to begin with. You may have missed a deadline but there will be procedures in place for things like this. You have every right to complain and get justice for yourself. I would also really recommend some therapy too, this is a very difficult thing to hang onto on your own.

Oh - 15 years working in large hospitals. I have certainly witnessed abusive staff. I feel a little envious of those who are incredulous that this could have happened. That innocence would be nice!

@Icopewhenihope you need to look at yourself and your responses. You really, really do. I feel very sorry for you that this is how you treat another woman who is slowly opening up about a series of horrific events. If having a go at a vulnerable woman gives you kicks you need to take a long look in the mirror.

Exactly this!

Things get swept under the carpet sometimes.

Very naive to believe otherwise.

Sorry what is the actual point of being mean and snarky on threads like this? Best case scenario you are right, it’s a troll or a liar or a money grabber and you’ve called them out, congratulations. Not sure what the reward is there other than you getting to feel smug. Worst case scenario this is really someone in genuine distress who has been through something horrible, and you are kicking them when they’re down. When you weigh it up, does it honestly feel like a good gamble? Is it worth the risk of hurting someone to win yourself some invisible internet points?

I am clearly not in a good place right now and this is not where I expected to be right now

Honestly I am crying and it is embarrassing me because this is the first proper time I have spoken about things online and I did not realise I was opening myself to some of these responses

i just wanted to say one thing because clearly kindness is becoming rare - I just want to acknowledge the kindness and compassion people have shown and want to tell you that is has made the difference for me tonight

at one point I was shaking in anger and shock at the response of being told I was hallucinating an assault or even worse lying about it

but I am slowly calming myself down reading the kinder messages and messages of people who have been through similar things

thank you for the kindess
the kindness does help. X

Do you have anyone you can talk to in person? If not, maybe reach out via the phone to a specifically trained person?

There are people who will guide you through this @Plzstopthisstupidity.

Unfortunately MN is becoming a place where nasty people get their kicks from having a go at anyone they choose.

I'm sure when I had my children, I was given a flyer about services that were available if there were problems connected with birth etc. ( It was a while ago, so a bit vague). Whether there is anything like that available you could follow up with or contact the head of maternity for advice as to where to go. Although the assault occurred a while ago, it is clearly still impacting you, so definitely worth following up.
I'm also amazed that there were known problems with a medic and they were still able to be in contact with patients.
Might be worth making a subject access request whereby you can see all the information held about you.
Good luck

@Icopewhenihope please could you tell the police you have an in-built innate lie detector? You can detect lies from simple posts and online messages. You could really do a huge service for the police and help them with cases honestly drop them a message since you are basically a human lie detector.

Well bully for you Robin Hood but you’re coming across as a nasty piece of work.

There’s calling out lies, and then there’s repeatedly hounding and being nasty to an OP. Troll hunting isn’t allowed on here. You are making yourself look like a nasty piece of work.

I believe you, OP. There are many cruel and abusive health care professionals around. I say they have compassion fatigue, but I don't believe many of them had compassion in the first place.
My poor friend did started to hallucinate and become paranoid after her second emergency surgery because her surgery wasn't done correctly in the first place. The nurses spoke to her like shit, laughed and talked about her within her hearing, refused to explain what was happening kindly when she was scared and being difficult (how dare she when vulnerable and in pain!) and were vile. Her sleep-deprived, fearful brain filled in the gaps when she was in and out of conscious.
She ran out of the hospital in her gown, with a drain attached in the middle of November and called her husband to collect her. She was terrified and imagining all kinds of things.
It took a long time for her to recover and she and her husband moved from their home city so that she never had to have healthcare from that authority ever again. Irrational on her part, but it did not come from nowhere.
I don't get the help I need from my GP because it's too difficult or there is a patronising receptionist answering the phone. Where women are concerned, the NHS is an absolute disgrace.
I would get this thread pulled as it is re-traumatising. A lot of the NHS staff are on here being unpleasant, I reckon.

WTR troll hunting, @mumsnet can verify I am not a troll or spam poster. I have history on Mumsnet.

Please stop reading the hateful posts OP. It's not what you need right now

Take care

Jesus some of these replies are awful.