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Original poster

Can I get compensation? Assaulted at hospital

354 replies

Plzstopthisstupidity · 11/12/2023 18:28

Good evening Mumsnet

My sister recently announced she is pregnant and it brought back a memory of something I had buried.

5 years ago, I had a C-section. The day after in hospital, when I was recovering, a nurse grabbed me by the neck in a hallway of patients, staff and visitors and threatened me. She verbally and physically assaulted me.

I can’t discuss the reasons behind it but long story short was she verbally abused me in private (my room) and then when she heard me trying to complain, she grabbed me.

The manager of the maternity ward saw this and spoke to me. She apologised and comforted me. I was humiliated, sobbing and traumatised at the time.

I moved on. I still think about it… more so recently.

I was given the nurse’s name and found out that she is still working in the hospital (this was a year ago not sure if she is still there now).

I am starting to feel immensely angry about what happened. Part of me wants to take legal action.

Mumsnet: is there anything I can do? Is it worth even doing anything as it’s been so long since it happened?

just looking for ideas/advice - thank you!!

OP posts:
Hospitalshmospital · 12/12/2023 17:19

Your lack of logic is more astounding tbh op. You wrote this:

i don’t know what I want. I would like for the nurse to ideally not be around patients.

How many patients exactly do you think this nurse has been in contact with since this incident??

AsMyGranWouldSay · 12/12/2023 17:30

I really hope OP has stopped reading now.

The lack of empathy on here is disturbing.

A handful of idiots trying to pick a hole in a traumatic story for some imaginary mn prize taking up way too much space between the suppprtive posts...is MN handing out "smug lil me" t-shirts now?

Anyway, if you do come back OP, I hope you ignore them, they have nothing better to do clearly, and certainly no useful purpose. I hope you have real life support.

TheShellBeach · 12/12/2023 17:54

Hospitalshmospital · 12/12/2023 17:19

Your lack of logic is more astounding tbh op. You wrote this:

i don’t know what I want. I would like for the nurse to ideally not be around patients.

How many patients exactly do you think this nurse has been in contact with since this incident??

Well, many hundreds, naturally - but the OP would obviously prefer it if this nurse was not looking after patients anymore.

That is understandable.

Original poster
Plzstopthisstupidity · 12/12/2023 18:09

@Hospitalshmospital so you’re blaming me for not reporting her? Even when I clearly said the manager at the time told me she was a problematic person and they had issues with her before. For whatever reason, she was still working there and allowed to deal with patients like myself.

Sorry I didn’t have the balls to report her at the time because I was busy trying not to get my face smashed in by my partner while navigating life with a newborn child. Sorry that so many rapists and abusers walk around because people like myself are too “unreasonable” in your words to report them and magically get them off the damn streets

OP posts:
Plzstopthisstupidity · 12/12/2023 18:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheShellBeach · 12/12/2023 18:20

Honestly, OP, I would step away from this thread now. It cannot be doing your mental health any good to see some of these replies.

Flowers
Original poster
Plzstopthisstupidity · 12/12/2023 18:21

I can’t help responding to the cruel comments.

OP posts:
Firefly1987 · 12/12/2023 19:45

@Plzstopthisstupidity I've done the same thing after posting about traumatic things that have happened to me and getting piled on (not on here as I know all too well the likely result by now) it's very upsetting. The amount of people who say things like "well why didn't you do xyz at the time" and just make you feel like shit and riling you up forcing you to lose it with all their goadiness and then they're like "you're overemotional/dramatic" etc. it's why I almost gave up asking for advice on ANY forums at one point. Sorry OP, I haven't the faintest idea why some people have questioned you in the way they have. They should be ashamed of themselves.

skyofdiamonds · 12/12/2023 19:58

Hey, I am sorry I haven’t read all of your responses, only the first page. I haven’t read all the comments either.

I just wanted to say that that sounds awful. However, personally reading what you say, I think you are also struggling with birth trauma. The way you describe having a o rap pregnant then suddenly told you could lose the baby sounds traumatic and something that would need some working through.

I am NOT disputing the main part of your post and how it made you feel but the traumatic birth mentally outweighs being called a princess by a nurse. Sounds like she had some kind of mental meltdown and is rude but I think some sort of birth afterthoughts service would really help. you can discuss the birth and the after care and go from there?

Original poster
Plzstopthisstupidity · 12/12/2023 20:06

She didn’t just call me a princess though. She assaulted me physically in front of other people who did nothing particularly appropriate to stop it from happening again.

OP posts:
kissnm · 12/12/2023 20:12

To be honest I think many posters here found it hard to relate to someone like OP who has been through a lot of difficult and traumatic events. I have relevant degree/career experiences in mental health sector and my view is:

OP experienced childhood trauma, difficulties with family, domestic violence as an adult, rape. That all indicates someone who has always been stuck in fight or flight mode their entire life, someone who is vulnerable, and who may not have a lot of support. On top of that, OP mentions poverty and being unwell, having just had a baby. Lots of impacting factors to their mental health.

People in that situation may not have the ability to speak up for themselves when other seemingly “lower level” things happen. I know it is extremely unusual for hospital staff to assault patients so it’s not quite considered “low level”, but I mean low level in the grand scheme to someone who is already being abused and struggling to speak up about other horrific things. It’s so easy for vulnerable people to be taken advantage of or to slip into further difficult situations. And although this situation may seem beyond belief, cases of historical abuse have been investigated and prosecuted before so it’s not for us to immediately say it’s not the truth. But it’s definitely a situation for the relevant authorities, including mental health support services for OP to help process all the difficult things mentioned.

LIZS · 12/12/2023 20:17

Plzstopthisstupidity · 12/12/2023 20:06

She didn’t just call me a princess though. She assaulted me physically in front of other people who did nothing particularly appropriate to stop it from happening again.

Unfortunately you can't know for sure that noone did anything about her. She may have been disciplined and/or given retraining. However you would not be party to that. Go to PALS, make a dsar request but ask that you are talked through the notes rather than sent them.

Hospitalshmospital · 12/12/2023 22:23

TheShellBeach · 12/12/2023 17:54

Well, many hundreds, naturally - but the OP would obviously prefer it if this nurse was not looking after patients anymore.

That is understandable.

Show quote history

But how is that supposed to happen if she didn't report it?

I'm struggling with the statement above given that no action was taken & now the OP wants compensation. It would be easier to swallow if the OP wanted to achieve having her struck off which is entirely reasonable but compensation? Really?

Whatthefnow · 12/12/2023 22:25

How would money make you feel better, surely it's a prosecution you're after.

Firefly1987 · 13/12/2023 04:13

Sigh, must everyone dissect every title on here to the nth degree...OP wants acknowledgement that this happened and something to be done if possible. Yes it might now be too late but I know very well how these things can eat away at you-or resurface years later where you feel you finally have to do something as the only way to deal with it and get closure. It's not about money.

InAMess2023 · 13/12/2023 06:52

@Firefly1987 OP openly admitted earlier in the thread that they want monetary compensation to pay for therapy. And then backtracked and denied mentioning money. It's just an oddly worded title if the main aim was to get justice/have the nurse face consequences etc.

Original poster
Plzstopthisstupidity · 13/12/2023 12:35

@InAMess2023 no I didn’t say I want money and then backtracked

i mentioned a multitude of things

when money was being discussed, i said it was the unaffordability of therapy that made me think how money would be helpful

my focus has not been on money

it was mentioned ONCE by me

i never once denied mentioning money

you are paraphrasing a nuanced topic with a negative and judgemental perspective

OP posts:
InAMess2023 · 13/12/2023 12:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Plzstopthisstupidity · 13/12/2023 12:47

lol so when you get a thorough answer, that’s all you have to say in response? You’re just making assumptions which is a sad and unnecessary thing to do.

OP posts:
InAMess2023 · 13/12/2023 13:10

Plzstopthisstupidity · 13/12/2023 12:47

lol so when you get a thorough answer, that’s all you have to say in response? You’re just making assumptions which is a sad and unnecessary thing to do.

Seriously OP just step away from the thread and get the help you so clearly need. Nobody who doesn't believe you is going to be persuaded to change their minds. Get therapy.

Also the Cambridge Dictionary identifies the primary meaning of compensation as monetary recompense. Having that nurse removed from working with patients doesn't meet the definition of compensation.

Original poster
Plzstopthisstupidity · 13/12/2023 21:17

Yes thank you for quoting a dictionary.

OP posts:
InAMess2023 · 14/12/2023 06:24

Plzstopthisstupidity · 13/12/2023 21:17

Yes thank you for quoting a dictionary.

My comment still stands. You're just arguing with yourself now

Muchof · 14/12/2023 06:50

Plzstopthisstupidity · 11/12/2023 19:14

@Erby Why are you getting defensive and saying everyone spoke to me with the same disdain you did? You can scroll up and see how kind the majority of responses have been and also how helpful they have been with giving advice. I know it feels embarrassing when you’ve been called out for being rude and unkind but maybe take
my advice and just be kinder in future.

I have read every post up to here and the majority of posters have said they don’t believe you or have said you were hallucinating. I believe you believe this happened, but I am going to go for hallucinating, because this simply isn’t plausible.

Muchof · 14/12/2023 06:53

Firefly1987 · 13/12/2023 04:13

Sigh, must everyone dissect every title on here to the nth degree...OP wants acknowledgement that this happened and something to be done if possible. Yes it might now be too late but I know very well how these things can eat away at you-or resurface years later where you feel you finally have to do something as the only way to deal with it and get closure. It's not about money.

It’s not about money

You must have missed the thread title, it states “Can I get compensation?”.