Can I get compensation? Assaulted at hospital

[Plzstopthisstupidity]

Good evening Mumsnet

My sister recently announced she is pregnant and it brought back a memory of something I had buried.

5 years ago, I had a C-section. The day after in hospital, when I was recovering, a nurse grabbed me by the neck in a hallway of patients, staff and visitors and threatened me. She verbally and physically assaulted me.

I can’t discuss the reasons behind it but long story short was she verbally abused me in private (my room) and then when she heard me trying to complain, she grabbed me.

The manager of the maternity ward saw this and spoke to me. She apologised and comforted me. I was humiliated, sobbing and traumatised at the time.

I moved on. I still think about it… more so recently.

I was given the nurse’s name and found out that she is still working in the hospital (this was a year ago not sure if she is still there now).

I am starting to feel immensely angry about what happened. Part of me wants to take legal action.

Mumsnet: is there anything I can do? Is it worth even doing anything as it’s been so long since it happened?

just looking for ideas/advice - thank you!!

It’s highly unlikely you’ve been her only victim. They might need more people to come forward and don’t have enough evidence. Save someone else from going through the same. Report.

Oh for goodness' sake. Don't be so ridiculous. I was merely saying that raking stuff up can cause more harm than good.

And, yes, the only thing I cared about (and, 22 years on, still care about) is that fact that my son and I both survived.

In retrospect, I think I should have told my midwife/hv how I felt after he was born, because the experience was so traumatic that I ended up with MH problems for a long while after the birth (plus physical problems - I was in the HDU for several days). But that kind of support wasn't really on offer then, so I never asked for it.

The main thing is that DC1 is - after a difficult start which lasted some years - a happy, healthy, successful, fabulous adult, and I am ok so long as I don't think too hard about his birth (threads like this are hard reading for me).

Honestly, though, I got through the tough physical bit, can compartmentalise the mental bit, and have a wonderful, healthy son whom I love to bits. That honestly is all that matters to me.

If you want more than that, that is of course your prerogative.

Yes.

OP, I believe you.

I had a c section 22 months ago and there was a nurse/midwife, who was fucking horrible to me.

I was swollen and unable to go to the toilet, so I had a catheter in.

She tried to make me go to the toilet, but I just couldn't pee. That made her angry, I am not sure why.

Then she came in the middle of the night to drain my bladder. It was quite painful and I pulled back from her.

She then said in a stern voice: "Look, you really have to work together with me here" and gave me a horrible look.

Afterwards, she didn't put a catheter back in. I woke up in the morning with extreme abdominal pain. I rang and rang the emergency buzzer, but nobody came. I was in a fetal position crying.

After half an hour another midwife came and she did a bladder scan. My bladder had filled up to a dangerous volume and that was what caused the pain.

The midwife said she doesn't understand why her colleague didn't put a catheter back in.

She then gave me a catheter and the pain instantly subsided.

I'm due to give birth to my 3rd child any day now and I'm determined that this time I won't take any abuse.

If something doesn't feel right, I will immediately ask for the nurse's manager or a 2nd opinion from another colleague.

I believe that in your situation a cover-up might have happened.

Maybe the midwife's manager didn't want to draw any negative attention to her department.

People say why didn't the other witnesses complain?

Maybe they saw that the manager intervened and thought the situation was taken care of.

I would definitely make a complaint to pals.

And I know what you mean by tights, you mean those compression stockings that you have to wear after surgery xx

Did it happen in full view of the nursing staff, a manager and other patients and their relatives like in this story?

This tale has more holes than a colander.

And I know what you mean by tights, you mean those compression stockings that you have to wear after surgery

No she specifically stated someone else pulled them up and at least her bum was covered.

I actually cant

i give up

ok yep I want money lol that is why I made a thread today

i did not want any advice about anything related to the actual physical and verbal assault i experienced

i just wanted a thousand quid at the end so I could live comfortably for a few months or maybe weeks in the current climate

and since we are playing this game @Icopewhenihope regarding me
mentioning my parents/stable family, since you want to argue, here you go -

I was in a very abusive relationship. Not just my husband, but his family. My parents weren’t perfect either, the one thing they said was to call the police. Other than that, I had been raped and they brushed that under the carpet. I was assaulted multiple times as a child and no that was not dealt with either so I was struggling. My partner originally made me feel safe and then during pregnancy that went in the bin too.

i was also in university (distance learning) while this was happening. I gave my final
dissertation a few months after my C Section due to extenuating circumstances.

My younger sister had also been assaulted by a family member and due to the chaotic
set up I was her main form of support.

not to mention living in pretty much poverty being part of the mix.

i hope this gives some peace of mind to the people questioning my every intention

I have tried turning my life around

i am married to a nice man, I work, we are not rich because we are average people but we do our best. I like my current life, most of the time at least.

i actually can’t be bothered anymore

i I really give up on this thread

i am disappointed in myself for being so affected by the comments of strangers but here we are.

Complain because it might protect others from going through a similar issue.

But financial compensation? Really?
It'll be hard to prove and you'll look as if you're only doing it for the money.
Pursue a complaint with the hospital or police but don't try and milk the NHS which will only result in less money to pay good staff and therefore more likely to increase poor practice.

And Mumsnet, if it helps, before this thread inevitably gets shut down, can you please clarify to the troll hunters that I am not from the “ambulance” thread (no idea what that is btw) and that I am a genuine person? Thank
you

This

Please complain if only to protect others from this callous nurse.

i just wanted a thousand quid at the end so I could live comfortably for a few months or maybe weeks in the current climate

Finally you are being honest.

This. Nurses don't start randomly attacking patients in full view of witnesses.
There has to be a backstory.

I am so so sorry. What happened to you was so dreadful that it’s hard to believe. But I do believe you as I know the dreadful way some of my colleagues can behave. A very small minority, but there are dangerous people out there working in healthcare.
I would start with PALS and think about involving the police depending on the response.

She’s being flippant because she’s upset.

OP I hope you’re ok.

I mean it's simply not acceptable what did the ward manager actually say??

Also fuck the DailyMail just in case they decide they want to write a stupid article about medical assaults, the idiots.

I don't mean to be odd but perhaps this is one of the times it would be good for the Dailymail to pick up this story. Perhaps that might help in solving this case or the nurse being exposed or something.

I agree totally with this.

Agreed.
If it was that serious ,Eg , worthy of a payout) the police would have been involved.

I’m sorry you went through this, OP — and sorry too that you’re getting a hard time on here. MN doesn’t like anything that can be construed as grabby even though, personally, I think you should be compensated for what happened to you. If you think it will help you come to terms with it, I’d definitely contact the hospital to see if there’s a report of the assault — and I hope, whatever happens, you get the closure (and support) you need. X

I don’t see why a nurse assuaging a patient sounds such an unlikely scenario. Have people forgotten the verdict of the Lucy Letby trial? It was only in August. And it being covered up doesn’t sound beyond the scope of possibility. I bet no one would be querying the OP if she’d said her assailant was a cop.

Sadly I think it’s too late to do anything now know. A common assault (no injury) would have gone statute barred after six months so you could report it but it may not even be investigated if resources at your local force are stretched.

Our poor ward manager was constantly going to her manager about it, but they just told her there was nothing to be done. She couldn't be touched because she had a disability. But as far as I know she never touched a patient, just other staff.

Wow! That's awful. Having a disability doesn't mean being immune to being sacked when you're putting others' lives in danger. No one should be subjected to that and she could have just as easily flipped off and touched a patient. That was ridiculous of the manager or whomever made that policy/law.

@Icopewhenihope I am not even angry at you right now, I just wish you could see what your comments have done to me. I am behaving like a child right now, I am in the spare room, I am crying - real ugly crying - because a random woman on the internet is being unkind. I have no idea why your comments have hurt me so much because I don’t know you and you’re probably nice in real life but maybe it’s just been a hard day. But God. Wow. You - with the incessant unkindness - have actually reduced me to tears in a child’s bed, sobbing like a child. I felt like telling you this because typing on here felt like a diary before. I am truly, to the core, hurt that you put aside the back story of my rape and abuse to say ah, yes, she’s finally being honest about wanting 1k! I am clearly far more naive about Mumsnet than I realised.

Of course it shouldn't be possible but sadly it sometimes is.
My elderly mum with dementia was assaulted by a male nurse when in hospital. She was slapped accross the face and pushed roughly back onto her bed. Apparently two other members of staff who witnessed this did intervene, he was ushered away, then they calmed my mum and settled her back into bed.
However I only learned of this incident two days later when another elderly patient told me what had happened. There was no written record, no safeguarding referral had been made and no action had been taken against the member of staff responsible.
Once I raised my concerns things were followed up formally and I was happy with the action taken which did ultimately include dismissal. I am eternally grateful to the patient who told me what had transpired as it seemed staff had been willing to juat let it go.