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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask what helps you when depressed?

97 replies

TessMcGillsOffice · 10/12/2023 11:50

Posting this here as I guess I'm looking for reassurance and to know things will get better.

Been in a major depressive episode for about 9 days with some anxiety. Meds have been increased, therapy is booked, I'm signed off work so everything is in place but I have never felt so low in my entire life. I feel disconnected from DH, DS (8) and DD (7) although I am trying to stay involved in family life.

Has anyone been through the same? What helped and will I get better? I'm so scared I won't.

Thanks x

OP posts:
VickyEadieofThigh · 10/12/2023 11:51

I can only speak for myself,obviously - but exercise (especially running) has always helped me feel better.

notawittyname1954 · 10/12/2023 11:57

In my experience things did get better eventually but I do still have days like it. And if its the odd day I let it pass and not expect too much. You will feel better. Music helps me. Just something you enjoy. Hope life improves for you soon. Even a bunch of pretty flowers made me feel better.

barbarahunter · 10/12/2023 11:58

Meditation helped me. Best wishes Op xx

DewHopper · 10/12/2023 11:58

Getting outside whatever the weather. Fresh air is a massive tonic.

PaperDoIIs · 10/12/2023 12:00

Reminding myself it happened before, and I did make it out some way or another. That there is an end in sight and while it might not be today, it is coming.

Original poster
TessMcGillsOffice · 10/12/2023 12:01

VickyEadieofThigh · 10/12/2023 11:51

I can only speak for myself,obviously - but exercise (especially running) has always helped me feel better.

Thank you, my DH finds running cures all his ills. Working up the energy to try it.

OP posts:
Original poster
TessMcGillsOffice · 10/12/2023 12:01

barbarahunter · 10/12/2023 11:58

Meditation helped me. Best wishes Op xx

Thank you x

OP posts:
Original poster
TessMcGillsOffice · 10/12/2023 12:02

notawittyname1954 · 10/12/2023 11:57

In my experience things did get better eventually but I do still have days like it. And if its the odd day I let it pass and not expect too much. You will feel better. Music helps me. Just something you enjoy. Hope life improves for you soon. Even a bunch of pretty flowers made me feel better.

I'll try music. I have no interest in anything at the moment but will give it a go.

OP posts:
Flensburg · 10/12/2023 12:03

Trying to breathe through the pain and reminding myself it will pass (even though it feels like it won't. Spoiler: it always has thus far).
Hugs, OP. It really sucks. 💐

StressedOutSemolina · 10/12/2023 12:04

Nature

Original poster
TessMcGillsOffice · 10/12/2023 12:05

Flensburg · 10/12/2023 12:03

Trying to breathe through the pain and reminding myself it will pass (even though it feels like it won't. Spoiler: it always has thus far).
Hugs, OP. It really sucks. 💐

Thank you. I honestly can't remember not feeling like this at the moment x

OP posts:
imho99 · 10/12/2023 12:05

Power walking if you can’t manage a run, just fresh air and a change of scenery. Kettlebell workouts at home if I can’t face the gym. Reading happy books and watching happy films, nothing too heavy. Eating healthy foods I really like.

HateLiarsButLoveMyHusband · 10/12/2023 12:07

@TessMcGillsOffice I have been where you are and it is the worst feeling in the world with no end in sight. At the time people told me it would get better but I really struggled to believe that. The truth is it does get better and it sounds like you’re taking all the right steps. Only practical advice is to focus on what you need:

  • Watch a favourite film/tv show, can be calming to watch something where you know the outcome and is familiar.
  • Cry if you want/need to
  • podcasts & audio books are good for quieting your mind
  • breathing exercises- look up box breathing, the counting and focus can be very calming
  • try to find routine if you can eg consistent bed time, getting up, eating regularly, avoiding too much junk food (However this took me some time to conquer, especially when all you want to do is stay in bed)
  • Any type of exercise you can manage, even just basic stretches, a walk round the block (fresh air is really healthful)
  • try not to isolate yourself from loved ones, I know how hard it is to push yourself but contact is important
  • im not very good at meditation but have found guided meditation quite helpful - I’d recommend‘Mindfulness’ by mark williams and Danny penman, there is a very useful body scan meditation. It’s available in audible or I think the body scan section is on you tube.
wishing you all the best for your recovery
GreenClock · 10/12/2023 12:09

Outdoors exercise wrapped up warm, be it running, a walk, or chucking a ball about with friends on the beach.

I hope you get through this episode pronto, OP. It’s not simple but there are tricks that can help.

RosaBaby2 · 10/12/2023 12:10

Having someone to drag me out the house kicking and screaming for a walk, some fresh air, a cuppa. X

ItAintGonnaGoDownEasyIfItAintCheezy · 10/12/2023 12:11

Exercise. Particularly outside.

covenoflittlewitches · 10/12/2023 12:13

Have a real look at why you are depressed and are experiencing anxiety. It was a game changer for me.

'Doing the work' by Dr Nicole (cant remember second name) is an excellent book and it was like a light bulb going on.

Original poster
TessMcGillsOffice · 10/12/2023 12:13

HateLiarsButLoveMyHusband · 10/12/2023 12:07

@TessMcGillsOffice I have been where you are and it is the worst feeling in the world with no end in sight. At the time people told me it would get better but I really struggled to believe that. The truth is it does get better and it sounds like you’re taking all the right steps. Only practical advice is to focus on what you need:

  • Watch a favourite film/tv show, can be calming to watch something where you know the outcome and is familiar.
  • Cry if you want/need to
  • podcasts & audio books are good for quieting your mind
  • breathing exercises- look up box breathing, the counting and focus can be very calming
  • try to find routine if you can eg consistent bed time, getting up, eating regularly, avoiding too much junk food (However this took me some time to conquer, especially when all you want to do is stay in bed)
  • Any type of exercise you can manage, even just basic stretches, a walk round the block (fresh air is really healthful)
  • try not to isolate yourself from loved ones, I know how hard it is to push yourself but contact is important
  • im not very good at meditation but have found guided meditation quite helpful - I’d recommend‘Mindfulness’ by mark williams and Danny penman, there is a very useful body scan meditation. It’s available in audible or I think the body scan section is on you tube.
wishing you all the best for your recovery

I'm so sorry you've been through this too. Everyone I speak to says I will get better but I don't believe it. Hopefully that will come in time. Thanks for the recommendations, I need to try some mindfulness as I know that's worked for others. Thanks x

OP posts:
justl0st · 10/12/2023 12:29

Taking the dog for a walk in the woods
Running
Eating nice foods
Reading to escape reality
Planning something to look forward to
Cleaning (being on top of the house makes me feel more relaxed and in control)
Talking to friends

Ghostlight · 10/12/2023 12:39

It sounds weird but sort of 'medicalising' it helped me.
Reminding myself that it's not me,
it's not that the world is awful,
it's not that the circumstances will never improve,
its not that I am bad or lazy or pointless,
It's not that there is no point to anything
It's not that nothing feels like anything anymore.
It's not that it is my fault.

It is just that I am sick. My brain is not working properly because I am unwell. I am experiencing common symptoms that are not reflective of me or my life but of mental illness.

That and then taking care of myself like a sim. That I am in charge of this sick person (me) and I know what a person needs to live so I have to do all those things so I have the chance to get better. Sick people need good food, with enough vitamins in, they need to go outside, to clean their teeth and to take their medication on time, to drink enough water and to be around people they love.

It takes time, it may feel hard and pointless for ages- but thats is the depression. It may require meds as lots of ilnesses do but it will stop. Your brain will get better and things will not feel like this forever

muddyford · 10/12/2023 12:48

Going for a long country walk.

greencheetah · 10/12/2023 12:51

Tea
Counting My Blessings
Walking on the beach (or somewhere else nice if you aren't near a beach)
Reading
Lots of sleep

Cut out completely: Social media, alcohol, anyone toxic.

dressedforcomfort · 10/12/2023 12:51

Outdoor exercise
Connecting with people
Creative, crafty activities - knitting, sewing etc
Trying to eat well/regularly
Keeping to a sleep schedule - getting up at the same time every day, going to bed at a sensible hour.

Dita73 · 10/12/2023 12:55

When I get a bad episode I find the best thing to do is just sleep as much as possible. Even if it’s the middle of the day,if I feel awful I’ll get in bed and just sleep. Even if it’s only for half an hour it can help. I see it almost as pushing a reset button

Icantsleepagain · 10/12/2023 13:01

I have completely cut out alcohol.

Sitting with my children doing things that are chilled out.

I try to slow things down. One task at a time.

Meds helped loads.

Getting exercise even if it's last thing I feel like.

Having nice food in.

Music.

Going for a walk with someone.

Animals. My pets. Just spending time with them.