Employee feels micromanaged if I give her tasks with deadlines

[calmama]

I manage a person who is generally difficult. She objects to… well everything and undermines me at every chance she gets.

When she first started working for me we sat down together and established a work plan to get our job done and keep us on track to meet deadlines. We agreed I would assign daily tasks and we would meet weekly to discuss progress on projects along with anything new we had to take on, along with any business changes, leave, etc.

Weeks down the line she exploded at me for colour coding priorities, saying the urgent (red) tasks were ‘very unfriendly and freaking her out’. I took the red out.

A few weeks later she exploded at me for ‘micromanaging and bullying her’ by sending her daily priorities, despite this being agreed upon from the very start. I asked for an alternative way of progressing projects. She had none.

Today she exploded at me for setting deadlines because they ‘stress her out’. Again, I asked her for an alternative way of doing things and she had none.

I’m at a loss. She’s doing honestly the bare minimum and can’t seem to cope. I’m having to pick up her slack because otherwise my team looks bad, yet I’m still copping the brunt of her rage and there’s no end in sight.

AIBU to throw my hands in the air and take a long vacation?

She sounds like a total nightmare, but you're not managing her well, I'm afraid. She needs to be told that she's not performing and that her behaviour is unacceptable. You're not doing her or yourself any favours by not addressing the issues, which as far as I can see are that she is both incompetent and unprofessional. Management isn't just about setting direction, assigning tasks etc, it's also about saying 'you are not doing your job and you cannot speak to a colleague like that' if necessary. It's horrible and I have myself failed to address poor performance quickly enough in the past, but ultimately sometimes it is part of the job to be harsh and you just have to do it. With HR fully informed in this case, I'd say. You're going to have to get rid of her, I think - I can't see her responding to a performance improvement plan type intervention given what you've said about her here.
For those who think that OP is a micromanager - assuming she were, the appropriate response to that from the employee is to GET THE WORK DONE, demonstrate competence, and then propose that they find a different way of working together and set out how she'd prefer to be managed - NOT to just not do things, lie about it, and/or say you can't make a call because you couldn't find a number. I mean, WTAF? Appalling. Even if she does have ADHD or depression or whatever, that's not a carte blanche to just not do your job and then abuse your manager for asking about the work you're meant to have done. And it's fucking insulting to ND people to suggest it is.

I think some posters have a very limited view of working life! There are people like this in the public sector, where I was employed for years. Sometimes they even get promoted! Doing as little as possible, causing departmental strife, basically pretty incompetent. I’ve seen a good manager suspended for ‘bullying’, she wasn’t, she was attempting to manage a long server who wasn’t up to the job, but it had to be investigated.

if someone isn’t doing fairly simple tasks when they are required, they’re not much good to an organisation, ‘stealing a living’ comes to mind. You have my sympathy OP, sadly treating people well can be seen as a sign of weakness by certain types of employee.

She sounds very like my eldest son who has ADHD. He landed himself a great job a few years ago. He’s so bright which comes over at interview but although he talks the talk he can’t walk the walk. He coped, just, whilst they were in the office but when Covid hit and they had to work from home, he just couldn’t get anything done. Whilst he doesn’t “explode” he does get very frustrated, mostly with himself, and it doesn’t come over well. The company had to “let him go” and if you’ve tried everything you can to help your employee, I think that’s what you will have to do too.

Is she still on probation? I disagree that this is micromanagement if a) she is still being introduced to the job or b) she is unable to complete her agreed tasks in a reasonable timeframe. It’s correct to document it all

We all shouldn't be so quick to blame it on a diagnosis we Don't know the employee has!

That does nothing for employees who do have issues at work linked to neurodivergence.

How very offensive to assume that this person is behaving the way she does due to neurodivergence.

what a piss easy job! You’re right op if she can’t do those things there is something wrong

@calmama

I can't work out how to quote but i was reading through your posts and spotted this:

"Asked her to CC me in something and she didn’t. Asked her why she didn’t CC me, she said not to worry because it was done. I asked again why she didn’t CC me as I’d asked, she said I didn’t need to be CCd. I said it was fine but to please forward me the email so I could escalate things with a supplier she claimed was dragging their feet. She refused, I insisted, she exploded and accused me of being a bully and a micromanager.

Turns out, she didn’t email the supplier. She forgot."

She is lying to you and verbally abusing you to deflect attention from the fact she is lying. She is no longer someone you can trust to complete tasks. She takes sick days to recover from her shouting at you (mentioned in another of your posts as part of her pattern IIRC).

She sounds like a nightmare and I'm genuinely scratching my head as to why she wants to work in events full stop. You have to be endlessly proactive and clear on priorities, issues and having a team you can trust to work in events successfully as far as I can see. I agree with others, this needs to be escalated to HR and if she explodes at you and apologises ever again, jut don't accept the apology, it's not acceptable and tell her that. It doesn't mean you can't work together, it means she knows you no longer tolerate any old clap trap from her, she'll either buck up or buck off, either way your life improves.

She sounds like an absolute fucking nightmare. If she can't come up with alternative ways of working then she can't complain about your perfectly reasonable approaches.

Have you discussed with your boss at all?

Is this public sector? I can't see someone like this surviving a week in corporate or anything mirroring that style.

also want to know how long she's been there. She can't work alone, can't work with a priority list...is it her first job? Sounds like you need to get rid.

Not just corporate, I can't see her lasting a week in my service either.

You will have to do things absolutely by the book to get rid of her. If only she put as much effort into doing her job as she does NOT doing it!

She’d be out on her ear in the public sector too. It would just take a long time to work through the process.

In your first post you said "when she first started working for me" then a few posts later it turned into a "two weeks after I came".
As I said to you in my initial post, I can see both sides of the argument. From your perspective you have underperforming employee who clearly struggles and lets the team down, from her perspective you are micromanaging (which you are, regardless of the reasons).
You are by no means a monster but it is yet unclear whether she knows her performance is poor and understands why, whether she knows that "exploding" is unacceptable, why do you continue to "wipe the slate clean" every time, why HR hasn't been formally involved, how much training she had when she joined, how was her performance before you joined the team, why is she not privy to the information she needs to do her job without your involvement etc.
It maybe that she is absolutely incapable of self-regulating and is poorly motivated and hates her job. No amount of daily emails is going to fix that. You need to dig into a root cause of why the tasks are not being done and initiate a procedure that will very clearly outline the consequences of her poor performance. So far, she was able to get scot free due to her "nuclear" personality. Where is the incentive for her to do anything differently?

She’s trying to get away with doing as little as possible.

i had this with somebody- gave them ownership of projects, realistic timelines, feedback, encouragement (well done for doing ONE social media post in a day, amazing work!!!!) - until it got to the point I was almost crying with gratitude if she managed to do one social media post once a week.

when I then started the so-called micromanagement, it was her who was crying ‘I’ve never worked like this’. Ermmm….luckily she was a smart cookie and saw where I was heading so found herself a new job.

She’s not completing the tasks she has been asked to complete, she isn’t doing things you have asked her to do such as cc you in emails, she has a tantrum when you try to address this and as it turns out she isn’t actually particularly good at her job.

Why are you still employing her? If she’s been with you less than two years you can just get rid. Longer than two years you need to start a pip and take steps to get her out. If someone is demonstrating early on that they are not a good fit for your business you aren’t doing them or yourself and favours by prolonging this. She needs to leave.

It sounds like you aren’t really managing her @calmama

She hasn’t worked there for two years so I would have sacked her after about three cycles of this nonsense. Speak to HR and get her out using the capability procedure.

If you don’t do anything about it, other staff will follow suit or just leave in frustration.

You cannot just get rid of her if she has protected characteristics I think. But in this case, and OP hasn’t said if she does have protected characteristics, I don’t know if you can diagnose and declare once you’ve started there and been there a while, rather than before/when you started. Presumably she’s also passed probation.

The only thing I’d be slightly worried about if I was OP and HR is if she calls OP’s management skills into place but (knowing little about HR) I’d put a performance improvement plan into place.

Get with HR and start a PIP. Let her go nuclear. She isn’t going to get better and there is a great employee out there in the world who is looking for a new job.

Ha ha, note to self to proof read before posting 😂😂

She could be ND, but she sounds bone idle.

@Eddielizzard that is not true. With less than 2 years service the employee can be dismissed for any reason without process as long as it’s not unlawful discrimination.

You are micro managing her. Sounds more like she is on a performance plan rather than day-to-day management. Formalise it if that's what she needs.
Consider using a project management tool where her weekly tasks are laid out (and added to) and allow her to manage lead time - if she's struggling to prioritise help her with it. If she's not performing put her on a PIP.

Then this is surely something to be handled by HR processes?

She didn't do the work and blew up to cover her tracks.

I would suggest all discussions over email - so it's written.