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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Employee feels micromanaged if I give her tasks with deadlines

638 replies

calmama · 08/12/2023 09:11

I manage a person who is generally difficult. She objects to… well everything and undermines me at every chance she gets.

When she first started working for me we sat down together and established a work plan to get our job done and keep us on track to meet deadlines. We agreed I would assign daily tasks and we would meet weekly to discuss progress on projects along with anything new we had to take on, along with any business changes, leave, etc.

Weeks down the line she exploded at me for colour coding priorities, saying the urgent (red) tasks were ‘very unfriendly and freaking her out’. I took the red out.

A few weeks later she exploded at me for ‘micromanaging and bullying her’ by sending her daily priorities, despite this being agreed upon from the very start. I asked for an alternative way of progressing projects. She had none.

Today she exploded at me for setting deadlines because they ‘stress her out’. Again, I asked her for an alternative way of doing things and she had none.

I’m at a loss. She’s doing honestly the bare minimum and can’t seem to cope. I’m having to pick up her slack because otherwise my team looks bad, yet I’m still copping the brunt of her rage and there’s no end in sight.

AIBU to throw my hands in the air and take a long vacation?

OP posts:
OhComeOnFFS · 08/12/2023 15:09

Why the hell are people triggered if they see the colour red? It can't be a surprise to anyone that tasks are colour-coded in a project.

OP, you are trying really hard with this woman but she's mugging you off. You shouldn't "forget" explosions. When it turned out that she hadn't even sent off that email you should have instigated a disciplinary. Stop acting like her mum.

Teentaxidriver · 08/12/2023 15:12

You are not a monster. Get HR involved. If she has been in her job less than 2 yers then it is easier to dismiss her. Stop covering up for her.

DeeCeeCherry · 08/12/2023 15:14

You need to do your job. & that is - manage your employee. She's throwing her weight around because you come across as a pushover. She 'exploded' at you, and you're giving her her own way and are now on MN seeking advice? Neither of you sound capable of your roles. You need to instigate disciplinary procedure and simultaneously get yoursef onto an assertiveness course for managers

Littlegoth · 08/12/2023 15:15

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain ’Poor management’ is the typical claim from poor performers. Sometimes it’s true, sometimes it’s not, but it’s nearly always the first thing a poor performer says when their performance is called into question.

OP Speak with HR. It’s perfectly normal for a manager to say ‘I need these things doing today’. Simply put, she’s not completing her tasks, and her behaviour is unacceptable - and likely isn’t reflecting your organisations values. Put a formal PIP in place. Many of the things suggested by previous posters such as weekly targets, regular one to ones reflecting on how tasks and projects are progressing, professional conduct etc will form part of a PIP. She can explode as much as she likes, you don’t have to accept it. Record every single time her behaviour falls short of expectations - make notes right after to record time, date, what happened, and who witnessed it. Good luck x

mollyfolk · 08/12/2023 15:17

I wouldn’t react very well to being daily tasks and not having any control over my work. Could you have a weekly meeting with a progress report where you agree deadlines? I know she agreed to this but is is a tough way to work.

cerisepanther73 · 08/12/2023 15:18

@calmama
Have you heard of the saying incompetent worker will allways blame the tools 🔧 or something along those lines?

Chickenkeev · 08/12/2023 15:20

tralalass · 08/12/2023 15:00

You are micro managing her. Sounds more like she is on a performance plan rather than day-to-day management. Formalise it if that's what she needs.
Consider using a project management tool where her weekly tasks are laid out (and added to) and allow her to manage lead time - if she's struggling to prioritise help her with it. If she's not performing put her on a PIP.

She's not doing her work! Micro managing is not the problem here. Obviously, everyone hates a micro manager, but if you can't be arsed to do your actual job, that you are being paid for, then what the hell else do you expect! She is requiring micro management (which i'm sure OP needs like a hole in the head) because she is not doing her job! She should be fired really.

Baggingarea · 08/12/2023 15:22

Oh op don't listen to the naysayers. It sounds like she is v junior and not at the stage to be cc'ed in with clients so that makes sense. Some people on Mumsnet just want to feel superior. Ignore them.

Can I ask if this is your reportee's first job? Have you sounded out with other managers if she's always been a bit of a problem child? Other people have said this but if you can start reporting and take to HR that seems to be your only option if she doesn't leave soon. It sounds a bit like she is bullying you - not vice versa!

Lavenderflower · 08/12/2023 15:26

I think this is a strange way to manage someone unless they had specific needs.

Menomeno · 08/12/2023 15:26

OhComeOnFFS · 08/12/2023 15:09

Why the hell are people triggered if they see the colour red? It can't be a surprise to anyone that tasks are colour-coded in a project.

OP, you are trying really hard with this woman but she's mugging you off. You shouldn't "forget" explosions. When it turned out that she hadn't even sent off that email you should have instigated a disciplinary. Stop acting like her mum.

I thought the same. I wonder how these people who are triggered by the colour red respond to everyday life? Do they have a meltdown at traffic lights or throw a wobbler at a give way sign? Maybe the Met Office should start giving pink warnings for extreme weather events. It’s bizarre!

tralalass · 08/12/2023 15:26

@Chickenkeev - yes, and the answer is to MANAGE her through a formal PIP - to develop her or to bring her employment to an end.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/12/2023 15:32

Littlegoth · 08/12/2023 15:15

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain ’Poor management’ is the typical claim from poor performers. Sometimes it’s true, sometimes it’s not, but it’s nearly always the first thing a poor performer says when their performance is called into question.

OP Speak with HR. It’s perfectly normal for a manager to say ‘I need these things doing today’. Simply put, she’s not completing her tasks, and her behaviour is unacceptable - and likely isn’t reflecting your organisations values. Put a formal PIP in place. Many of the things suggested by previous posters such as weekly targets, regular one to ones reflecting on how tasks and projects are progressing, professional conduct etc will form part of a PIP. She can explode as much as she likes, you don’t have to accept it. Record every single time her behaviour falls short of expectations - make notes right after to record time, date, what happened, and who witnessed it. Good luck x

I understand where you’re coming from. But I’ve worked with poor managers myself and have managed people too, I hope well. But I’ve taken on what I’ve learned from poor managers and then applied it to how I manage people. Therefore, I’m often told, you know how to manage people effectively you’re not like x y z.

The other thing is as with a lot of posts here we’re only seeing one side. OP may well be a poor manager.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/12/2023 15:34

Baggingarea · 08/12/2023 15:22

Oh op don't listen to the naysayers. It sounds like she is v junior and not at the stage to be cc'ed in with clients so that makes sense. Some people on Mumsnet just want to feel superior. Ignore them.

Can I ask if this is your reportee's first job? Have you sounded out with other managers if she's always been a bit of a problem child? Other people have said this but if you can start reporting and take to HR that seems to be your only option if she doesn't leave soon. It sounds a bit like she is bullying you - not vice versa!

Come on she’s been there about 18 months. Unless she’s really stupid she should’ve learned a lot of her job, possibly had an appraisal and so on. Some people simply do like to skive.

Chickenkeev · 08/12/2023 15:34

tralalass · 08/12/2023 15:26

@Chickenkeev - yes, and the answer is to MANAGE her through a formal PIP - to develop her or to bring her employment to an end.

Well tbh, i think the micro managing is ok for a while, you might be able to help them up to a standard. Or, go straight to getting rid, because it does sound like a headache. Either way, from the OP, the employee needs to be watched like a hawk. And OP doesn't need that headache.

PGmicstand · 08/12/2023 15:41

Eleganz · 08/12/2023 12:50

Have you raised your issues with your manager? Reasonable adjustments does not include impacting the well-being of other employees.

Show quote history

My manager has done what they are able to do, but we're a charity with a focus on being very equal ops.
Thankfully there's not much scope for things to go wrong, but it's sometimes tiring working with people that take no initiative. Can't give written instructions because of dyslexia.

LifeExperience · 08/12/2023 15:44

She's not doing her job and she's lying to you. I would start documenting for a future firing.

Baggingarea · 08/12/2023 15:47

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain totally agree with you. Just trying to figure out how the employee can be so useless! Feels like she's been dumped on OP.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 08/12/2023 15:50

Baggingarea · 08/12/2023 15:47

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain totally agree with you. Just trying to figure out how the employee can be so useless! Feels like she's been dumped on OP.

OP should really give us a bit of background on the employee’s age, experience and if she has protected characteristics. I know that’s not what a lot of people on this thread like to hear, they simply say to sack her and she’s lazy but it may not be as straightforward as that.

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/12/2023 15:53

Is she actually doing any work?

I think you need to document everything. I don’t understand why you’re allowing her to get away with blowing up at you regularly, then going off sick and returning as if nothing happened.

azlazee1 · 08/12/2023 15:55

You mentioned weekly meetings. I would stick with that. At that time it will be apparent if employee is not meeting goals and that can be addressed properly.

WonderingAboutThus · 08/12/2023 16:05

midtownmum · 08/12/2023 14:25

She sounds like a total nightmare, but you're not managing her well, I'm afraid. She needs to be told that she's not performing and that her behaviour is unacceptable. You're not doing her or yourself any favours by not addressing the issues, which as far as I can see are that she is both incompetent and unprofessional. Management isn't just about setting direction, assigning tasks etc, it's also about saying 'you are not doing your job and you cannot speak to a colleague like that' if necessary. It's horrible and I have myself failed to address poor performance quickly enough in the past, but ultimately sometimes it is part of the job to be harsh and you just have to do it. With HR fully informed in this case, I'd say. You're going to have to get rid of her, I think - I can't see her responding to a performance improvement plan type intervention given what you've said about her here.
For those who think that OP is a micromanager - assuming she were, the appropriate response to that from the employee is to GET THE WORK DONE, demonstrate competence, and then propose that they find a different way of working together and set out how she'd prefer to be managed - NOT to just not do things, lie about it, and/or say you can't make a call because you couldn't find a number. I mean, WTAF? Appalling. Even if she does have ADHD or depression or whatever, that's not a carte blanche to just not do your job and then abuse your manager for asking about the work you're meant to have done. And it's fucking insulting to ND people to suggest it is.

Love how all the posters who are managers themselves are nailing what the actual problem is. Well said.

NonPlayerCharacter · 08/12/2023 16:05

You are not a monster. Get HR involved.

Then you will be one!

(Kidding, kidding.)

theadultsaretalking · 08/12/2023 16:12

I think it is impossible to advise without hearing the other side of the story. She may be idle and incompetent, or you might be breathing down her neck, destroying both her confidence and her ability to get things done.

Whatever the case, there is no mutual trust left in this professional relationship and the communication seems to have broken down, so I am not sure it can be salvaged.

theadultsaretalking · 08/12/2023 16:17

Saying that, when the OP says: 'We agreed I would assign daily tasks and we would meet weekly to discuss progress on projects along with anything new we had to take on, along with any business changes, leave, etc.' It may well be that the employee in question was not on board at all with that way of working but didn't feel she could say anything to her new manager and everything else escalated from there!

As a manager, I learned that my working style doesn't have to be the default one for the team - it needs to work for everyone.

stomachameleon · 08/12/2023 16:59

@theadultsaretalking she doesn't sound the shy and retiring type!