Employee feels micromanaged if I give her tasks with deadlines

[calmama]

I manage a person who is generally difficult. She objects to… well everything and undermines me at every chance she gets.

When she first started working for me we sat down together and established a work plan to get our job done and keep us on track to meet deadlines. We agreed I would assign daily tasks and we would meet weekly to discuss progress on projects along with anything new we had to take on, along with any business changes, leave, etc.

Weeks down the line she exploded at me for colour coding priorities, saying the urgent (red) tasks were ‘very unfriendly and freaking her out’. I took the red out.

A few weeks later she exploded at me for ‘micromanaging and bullying her’ by sending her daily priorities, despite this being agreed upon from the very start. I asked for an alternative way of progressing projects. She had none.

Today she exploded at me for setting deadlines because they ‘stress her out’. Again, I asked her for an alternative way of doing things and she had none.

I’m at a loss. She’s doing honestly the bare minimum and can’t seem to cope. I’m having to pick up her slack because otherwise my team looks bad, yet I’m still copping the brunt of her rage and there’s no end in sight.

AIBU to throw my hands in the air and take a long vacation?

He's changed jobs 5 times in the last decade is that not relatively normal?

Um @calmama could the OP recognise herself and you if this was shared by the Daily Mail? just wondering!

@calmama sorry I meant - could the employee recognise you both* sorry typo!

@calmama I haven’t read the thread either but have read your posts. I’ve got a staff member very much like this (without the explosions).

The distractions on tangential matters, the easily stressed responses, the inability to prioritise tasks, the partially done tasks, the constant forgetting to complete other tasks or taking much much longer to complete tasks compared to others, the disorganisation and the general lack of follow through all due, in this case, to major SEN’s including ADHD, dyslexia and ASD and a very poor short term memory.

Is that what’s going on with your staff? Surely these explosions are atypical responses to stress? Suggests to me something underlying going on. Perhaps undiagnosed.

For the staff I work with, I do feel for them because their stress is very real (it takes v little to stress them out) and generally they are a nice person but they frequently do not recognise their own limitations, feel martyred when criticised for their failures, and are an absolute nightmare to manage. People are getting fed up.

So, on the one hand, the EA requires reasonable adjustments, on the other hand the job has to be done. It’s hard.

This!!

Well if what you're saying is true, OP, and there's no alternative story that would significantly change it, then clearly she isn't up to the job and you'll have to do whatever it is you do to get rid of her legally. She simply isn't doing the job even to a minimum standard.

Whilst I absolutely could not work in the way you would want - which feels very micromanaged. She is not doing her job - therefore all discussions need to be recorded and you need to talk to HR, as this sounds like a performance issue. Especially if you have other people who are doing the same job with a better output.

I would check your style though as it may well not suit others in the team either!

I recommend you do neurodivergence training. To be blunt, you are a neurodivergent person’s worst nightmare. Tbh, many employee’s. Your way or the highway is a dated management style. She’s very likely underperforming because you’re creating cognitive blockers. Start with the training.

Um, guys! She's being micromanaged because she can't be trusted to do the job.

She sounds shit OP.

She sounds lazy and you are at the point of having to micromanage her. You gave her autonomy and she’s not used it.

I’d get HR involved now to be honest. You are paying her to do a job and she’s not doing it.

If you're sending her daily tasks/reminders then you're the problem, maybe you haven't got enogh of your own work to do- get on with your own work, you sound a right pain in the arse

I appreciate it might be necessary in some types of work but it is micromanagement and is why many people aren't keen on project managers.

Problem solved. 🤣

No blaming her bad work ethic and bad behaviour on being neurodiverse is very offensive.

She is not doing what she is being asked and isI’d for.
She is lying about doing things, that she hasn’t done.
And she’s regularly exploding at OP.

None of that has anything to do with being ND.
She is just lazy and entitled.

What signs of neurodiversity is the employee showing and how should they be managed?

Why because OPs employee isn’t doing the job she’s paid to do?

It actually sounds like OPs workload is doubled because this person isn’t doing her job or saying she’s doing it and isn’t.

In no other company would this behaviour be acceptable.

I wonder where you work if you think this is acceptable behaviour and obviously act similar yourself.

Sorry, OP is not a trained clinician to diagnose her employee. The onus is on an underperforming employee to disclose any conditions that need to be considered in performance and request specific support. OP has frequently asked what this person what/how they want to manage things - and has gotten no response. She's not mother, priest, therapist or bob the builder - she is a line manager who can only act on the information she is given, and the onus is on individuals to manage upwards.

You should put her on a PIP and manage her out the door. Get someone in who is willing to work. End of.

re not following clear instructions start disciplinary but i would be letting her go. not fit for job comes to mind

You are micromanaging her and, from the sounds of it, you need a proper communication strategy in place so nothing needs to go out on the fly, at the last minute, because everything is planned (I know the latter is not the point of your post, but it does suggest the possibility of some general disorganisation within the company). However, if she really is as bad as you say, I don't know why you're bending over backwards to make it work. Is she right for the company but in the wrong role? If there's another position she'd be more suited for, help her move into it. If not, put her on a performance management plan and, if she doesn't improve, fire her.

Genuinely why did she get this job? Why are you letting her stay here so she can put "X months/years at Job Y" on her CV and move onwards and upwards?

I mean FGS there are highly-skilled proactive go-getters in your industry who have to go to interviews where this tit is being handed jobs they should have and would be good at.

It really pisses me off because it gives marketers a bad name when arseholes like this get their feet under the table. There's no shortage of talent coming in at the bottom, they are leaving in droves because someone like her eventually moves into positions where better people can't get promoted past her, and there is zero need for this person or others like her to be employed in this industry. Stop making excuses and get rid of her asap to make room for someone better who actually deserves this job!

Jesus wept, I had the same three things on my list this morning and they were completed by 9.15am!

OP do you have an HR department? You've had lots of advice here to speak to HR, and that's absolutely the best thing you could do. They'll give you guidance both to help yourself manage her (out, if appropriate) and to ensure you're not inadvertently doing anything that could place the company at risk of an ET claim down the line.

She's exploding at you because it's working for her - you're placating her and 'wiping the slate clean'. This is a pattern of unacceptable behaviour now and needs to be tackled alongside her lack of output - get HR's advice about this too. She's not delivering from the perspective of either competence or professional standards.

Meanwhile, if she 'explodes', take the heat out of the situation. Let her rant, then pick up calmly when she runs out of steam, e.g. "nevertheless, none of that explains why this task hasn't been done. Why didn't you ring the supplier? [excuse blah blah] Why didn't you email instead? [excuse blah blah] Why didn't you ask escalate it?" etc. If she shows no sign of running out of steam, draw the meeting to a close and tell her you'll pick up again when she feels able to remain calm and professional, and then make sure you DO pick it up again before the day is out.

If this were a competent employee delivering on deadlines then yes, you'd be micromanaging. But it isn't, it's a lazy or avoidant one who refuses to help herself by either doing the work required of her OR asking for help when she hits a blocker, so she clearly needs a degree of supervision over and above the norm. "Deadlines trigger me", FFS 🙄

She exploded at you, did she?

If that's how she feels, why is she being so shit at the things she is being asked to do? It's hardly the way to get anyone to trust her to manage herself. Most people, given the three tasks that OP has cited, would have gone off and done them within a couple of hours and would either have found something else constructive and helpful to do, or come back to OP to report that they were done and ask for more work. This person simply didn't do the tasks.

On what planet would any manager see that an employee wasn't performing simple tasks without offering any valid excuse, and would take that as giving the green light to leaving said employee to their own devices? It's just ludicrous.