AIBU? Looking after parents dog when baby is due

[ActDottie]

Baby number 1 is due 17 January.

My parents are having their house rewired and have been told they’ll have to move out for 2-3 weeks while it’s done.

They mentioned this vaguely a month or so ago and I said “you’ll have to stay with brother as it’ll likely be when baby is here or due”.

Today they’ve been given the date of 8th January for the rewiring to begin and have asked if we can have their dog stay here for 2-3 weeks because my brother has a cat so dog can’t stay with them.

We have two dogs ourselves which when I go into labour my parents are going to look after. I don’t mind them doing that at our house that’s fine. But im not sure about committing to have their dog stay here for the 2-3 weeks around my due date.

Their dog is very full on and very strong, we currently have the dog two days a week anyway when my dad works which is fine, but recently the amount we’re having her had crept up a lot. We’ve just had her Saturday - Wednesday plus daytime Thursday (today) and are having her Friday day time as Friday night as my dad wants to get back from work in time for a Christmas party. It just all suddenly feels very one sided the dog care arrangements. And walking three dogs when I’m 34 weeks pregnant has been hard!

Now they’ve asked if we can have her around my due date. I want to say no but not sure if I am being unreasonable?

They’ve said they’ll be over daily to walk her and look after her etc. but if baby is here I always imagined my husband and I having the first two weeks off with not many visitors while we find our feet?

It just feels like a massive ask and I’m not sure I want to commit to it.

I don’t know why they either rent a holiday cottage for the time (money is not as issue and it being January there are plenty around - I’ve checked) or postpone the rewiring to not fall around baby’s due date. They’ve known that baby is on the way since June when we told them.

They’re very unreasonable asking you to look after the dog when you are nine months pregnant.

They need to consider kennels or a home boarder if they can’t get others to look after it. Your priority is your health and your baby.

I do agree that you’re not being unreasonable (I have 2 dogs and remember that when my daughter was born we had them boarding for the first week).
On the other hand, after baby arrives you may have a few years where you want to call in favours from granny and grandad……….

Absolutey NOT!!!!

My parents ended up minding our dog for about 3 weeks when our baby was born. It was meant to just be for a few days (they collected him when I went to the hospital in labour) but between postpartum recovery and my husband and I being exhausted and finding our feet, they were happy to stretch it out. Even getting out for a regular walk in those early days was tough as newborns are so unpredictable.

Your parents are being completely ridiculous. They should be rescheduling the rewiring and offering to take YOUR dogs while you settle into your new reality!

Your parents are being cf and if they cared about you and the babys wellbeing they wouldn't have asked.
Having a boisterous dog who is tough to handle around a newborn, when you will be weak and bleeding from the birth is just asking for trouble.
They need to have arrangements in place such as kennels not rely on you, it's part of the responsibility of being a pet owner.
That's a hard no from me.

YANBU- say no!
when you were sick and working from home on the days when they would have your dogs, did they at least come around and walk them? Feels very one sided and like they regret having this dog.

Jesus whatever happened to just a normal honest conversation with your parents.... If that were mind I'd literally say absolutely not I'm about to have a baby!!! Fact they'd even ask is just ridiculous. If it also bothers you how much you already have them why would you just not say no?? Like what are they gonna do ? Man up and be honest, else they'll continue to take the piss.

Wow, selfish parents.

Not being unreasonable and really need to put your foot down with this one. You're heavily pregnant and looking after what you describe as a strong dog, that's too much to start with. Having it just as you're due to give birth is a big no-no, and as others have said, you have no idea what's going to happen - my labour was straightforward, then things went wrong and although I avoided the emergency c section by the skin of my teeth, we still ended up in hospital for 2 nights - you're told to pack for 24 hours, we were not prepared and we didn't have pets or other children to think about for that one!

Honestly can't believe they're even asking to be honest, you're right to feel upset about that. We have a tortoise and my parents hibernate him in winter, I gave birth in January so he was already with them but she refused to bring him back to us in the summer because even he would've been a bit much whilst trying to look after a 4 month old. Not to mention the baby would likely sit on him and poke at him - I definitely wouldn't have wanted a dog subjected to that, or my baby subjected to a dog.

Stand firm, you obviously don't think you'll be able to manage it (and rightfully so) and you want some time after the birth so the dog and your parents will be breaking those boundaries too. Stick to your guns and don't feel guilty, you're going to need the time and space and you're right, they've known since June and could have scheduled this better! This isn't on you!

Be upfront and say "no" be assertive, use the broken record style, no, no, no, no and no explanation.

Even your current arrangement in which you take care of their dog so much, even on a Saturday as they go running and out with friends sounds ridiculous. Have you always been so servant to them? Are you expecting them up help you with the baby?
they sound self centered and expecting you to be their free dog sitter. I will not be surprised if they won’t help with the baby at all.

This is a message about your two dogs: take a wee hat or blanket that your newborn has worn and let your pups smell/sniff. It will help them get used to the bambino’s aroma.

You have been so sick in pregnancy you've had to work from home full time... so they just dump their dog on you so that they can go to the gym and ultra running... and because the dog is so unmanageable that your mum cannot be in the house with it on her own???

And in return, they generously say they will look after your dogs when you are at work, even though you are currently not at work and about to be on maternity leave presumably so they don't have to ???

Just STOP!!!

They are so selfish and are not thinking about your best interests.. so you and your DH have to start doing this.

If saying no to them causes offence, let them be offended. You have to think about your health and the health of your newborn and this is one of the few times in your life when its absolutely apparent that you have to act in your best interests.

They are presumably old enough and wise enough, and healthy and wealthy enough to sort out their own dog issues.

Good Luck OP. Don't let them walk all over you.

ps. It sounds like they haven't trained their dog either if your mum is scared to be alone in the house with it... I wouldn't let them babysit if their dog is their either.

You’re being unreasonable saying your brother should ‘make it work’. Nobody is going to want their pet cat at risk around a badly behaved dog. Your brother doesn’t usually take care of the dog and is already having to put your parents up! They need to send the dog to kennels (should be availability in January) or get an air b&b/ hotel. You’re not unreasonable to not want the dog but don’t make it someone’s problem other than your parents!

Your parents are taking the piss as it is. Work days for work days that fit ok nice enough deal. But a Saturday because your mum cnba and still imposing when your unwell enough to be working from home as a new thing and they want to again impose on you and a newborn.

You need to stop having their dog full stop, even though it will mean getting a dog walker for your two one day a week but that’s over a year away right now.

Sorry I can no commit to having the dog at all while working from home or while on maternity leave it’s just not working. I also cannot have the dog during the rewire, don’t worry I also won’t be expecting you have my dogs anymore either.

Even after all these years reading about world class cheeky fuckers on MN, I never cease to be amazed that people like your parents actually exist.

Wow, nobody’s going to be rushing to give them grandparent of the awards are they? How incredibly selfish and thoughtless of them. Surely they would be clearing their diaries completely around the due date of the baby, not having major home improvements done? And asking you to look after their dog?!? They are either crazy or stupid, or both. Horrible people.

This having the dog on the weekend bit is especially nonsense. Their dog can't stay by itself at all? To add to the chorus, you are NBU. At all. Especially not with a first baby when you'll be finding your feet after birth.

They shouldn't even be asking a 34 week pregnant woman to walk their dog let alone when your baby is born. You're going to be exhausted and want to spend your time bonding with your baby. They should be offering to help you not putting more work on you. I think all dog sitting needs to stop now. A strong dog will knock a 2 or 3 year old over. If you fall now it's dangerous for your baby, if you injure yourself who is going to look after you, baby and your dogs? What does your hubby say? Just say you can no longer look after their dog, give them a week to sort other arrangements. And suggest they rent a dog friendly cottage for the rewiring next month. Wishing you all happiness when your precious bundle arrives.

They need to rehome or kennel their dog. Arrangements might have been fine previously but you are about to have a giant change and they should be putting you before your brother's cat!