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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I terrible?

117 replies

Shakeylegs · 07/12/2023 21:54

Just seen the thread about the person who accidentally didn’t pay for her big shop. Makes me wonder if my morals are in the bin because I’d not give it a second’s thought other than to chalk it up as a bit of good fortune.

the following three things have genuinely happened to me in the past few years, and I wonder if they make me immoral.

  1. Bought some stuff off Amazon a few weeks ago. About £90 worth actually. Paid as normal. Transaction stayed ‘Pending’ for a week then disappeared and the money was never taken. I haven’t mentioned it.

  2. Bought some petrol from an unstaffed supermarket petrol station. Put my card in as normal. Just as I was getting towards a tank-full, the pump just seized up and shut down. There was nobody around to ask, so I drove away. Was never charged any money for the fuel. Never mentioned it.

  3. Bought some towels from a department store. Went to pay, and as I was doing so, asked if they’d mind storing them for me so that I didn’t have to carry them round all afternoon. They said fine. I didn’t pay at that point. Then when I went to pick them up, I was all ready to pay but the staff member just handed them to me and walked off, mistakenly assuming I’d previously paid. Again, I said nothing.

What do you think? I guess number 3 is the clearest cut bit of awfulness, but even then they literally handed me the stuff!

Weirdly, given what I’ve just admitted, I’d never actually steal something off a shelf. I even balked at ripped CDs back in the day, and wouldn’t touch a fire stick to get free Sky or whatever it is you can do. But those three things I did do. Am I awful?

I think God knows anyway. The amount of times I get ‘quality checked’ at the self service checkout. 24 items they checked today. Obviously all paid for cos I don’t steal except for special circumstances!

OP posts:
LylaLee · 07/12/2023 21:55

Character is what you are when no one is watching.

Original poster
Shakeylegs · 07/12/2023 21:56

LylaLee · 07/12/2023 21:55

Character is what you are when no one is watching.

Occasional bum-scratcher and fairly frequent masturbator? Eek.

OP posts:
FuckHonestlyKnows · 07/12/2023 22:05

I think plenty of us would be similar. But for some reason, although MN is entirely anonymous, nobody on here ever admits to the smallest wrongdoing or untruth. It's fairly puritanical round here.

YellowcAkesl · 07/12/2023 22:09

It’s immoral in my opinion and I would feel worried I would get caught so have to pay (apart from the Amazon one, because that’s entirely their issue). But that said, I don’t judge you at all and don’t think you should feel terrible… companies and the government do far far worse!

NalafromtheLionKing · 07/12/2023 22:11

1 and 2, I would have done the same (though TBF I would be very unlikely to notice that I wasn’t charged for something unless it was a hugely expensive item).

3, I would definitely have called out to the shop assistant and paid (for fear of consequences from not paying rather than morals).

Azandme · 07/12/2023 22:12

You're a thief.

Amazon and fuel - you didn't know until after the fact. But you KNEW you hadn't paid for the towels and you chose to walk out with them? Blatant stealing.

Lammveg · 07/12/2023 22:15

I'm like you and wouldn't give it a second thought really. I usually have terrible luck so take anything like this as payback for all the times i hit every red light on the way home etc.

DH on the other hand...he once did a shop for a few items and thought he'd accidentally stolen some chewing gum. He searched everywhere for the receipt in a panic - he had paid for it in the end. He said he would have gone back if he found out he hadn't.

Circumferences · 07/12/2023 22:15

😂 I'd probably do what you do, but can't remember if I've had the "fortune" of accidentally getting free stuff....

Oh no! I do remember once in Decathlon something didn't scan but we paid at the self check out and didn't notice untill we got home.

It happens. Big corps take so much overall these sorts of things are a drop in the ocean.

Bigcat25 · 07/12/2023 22:16

Number three is quite bad. The assistant might have got in trouble, they might have had to pay themselves, and balancing and finding the error would have cost them lots of extra time at close. They were doing you a favor and that was really shitty.

Fionaville · 07/12/2023 22:16

I'd never shoplift or steal from anybody else either. I'd be very happy about all 3 of your examples and would take them as a win. I'd find it weird if anybody contacted Amazon and asked them to please take the £90!

Ohthatsfabulousdarling · 07/12/2023 22:17

I think this might be part of making your own luck to some extent?

I'm the type to go to security and say "I never scanned my bag... there's a massive queue to pay, even being told to just leave, I still pay lol. Offered an upgrade on a flight, I refused it lol... atleast you can't say you're downright stupid, which I can haha.

Hipp0campus · 07/12/2023 22:22

Small business, different.
Big business, normally their fault anyhow

Am I terrible?
Original poster
Shakeylegs · 07/12/2023 22:24

Hipp0campus · 07/12/2023 22:22

Small business, different.
Big business, normally their fault anyhow

It was Amazon, Asda, Debenhams.

I mean, Debenhams went bust soon afterwards but I don’t think it was due to widespread towel thievery.

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 07/12/2023 22:25

I’d have to pay.

HappyCamperTent · 07/12/2023 22:29

I don’t give a shit of it’s a big company like amazon or asda. I would just be worried about being caught.

Small independent businesses or individual people are off
limits

LylaLee · 07/12/2023 22:31

It's fairly puritanical round here.

The truth is that if we were all as amoral as a small percentage of entitled people are, then society would collapse. Most people follow the rules. A few think rules don't apply to them.

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 07/12/2023 22:33

You had the chance to pay there and then with number 3, I don't know why you didn't?

supersuss · 07/12/2023 22:40

Genuinely surprised at how many people are saying they'd do the same - Amazon, fine, pump, fine, but #3 is really awful.

hangingonfordearlife1 · 07/12/2023 22:42

i'd be more worried about the petrol. there are cameras all over the forecourt and they will notice a sale has not been paid and then look at the videos.

towels- na i'd be fine with that, there fault. i've walked out with a load of shopping before on self scan and forgot to scan anything...i did have a 5 day old baby though and wasn't really on this earth

CuriousGeorge80 · 07/12/2023 22:45

I would have done number 2 - if there is no way to pay and you would have to go out of your way on a different day to go back and pay, when they would probably have no idea who you are, i think most people wouldn’t pay.

3 is bad. That’s clear theft. You knew it in the moment and you stole the towels. I would definitely have paid.

Amazon is 50:50 - I think most people would do the same as you but I think I would probably have contacted them once to try and pay.

Santaiswashinghissleigh · 07/12/2023 22:49

Once took a sale pushchair back that broke in the middle of busy city centre road. Shop assistant put the item code into the till for a refund and it came up full price so she insisted that's what she gave me...

flowerchild2000 · 07/12/2023 22:52

If it were small family owned places that made the mistake it would be horrible. But given the owners of the companies you "got lucky" with are bazillionaires, who cares! You have gotten some good luck, be careful as there's cameras everywhere and it might catch up to you at some point.

underneaththeash · 07/12/2023 22:54

I've told this story before, but I ordered a WOW toy truck from Amazon, it didn't arrive so I spoke to someone in an (obviously) off shore call centre and they sent me a new one. Both arrived on the same day.
I called and the guy clearly did not understand - he sent me another.
I had 3 WOW dumper trucks. Gave 2 to the church.

You need to make as much effort as you can to get something back to someone. Spend more effort if they deserve it

Merryoldgoat · 07/12/2023 22:55

Amazon and Petrol would do the same. Not the towels.

Sunnydays0101 · 07/12/2023 22:57

You were dishonest OP, especially when you took the bag of towels, knowing well you hadn’t paid.

Re the poster from another thread who realised afterwards she hadn’t paid the £95 or there was an error when she tried to pay - chances are the store has realised this as someone would have had to clear the transaction, checked the cameras out to car park, passed details and car reg to police who may follow it up.