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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask DM to wear pyjamas when staying at our house?

94 replies

Sofitella · 07/12/2023 21:03

Now that the DCs are in their own beds, when DM stays over they love to run in to ‘wake her up’ and have cuddles in bed (at a reasonable hour of course).

DM always sleeps naked and TBH I feel a bit uncomfortable with DCs getting in bed with a naked adult. No particular concern, it just seems inappropriate and weird to me. I’d never dream of wearing nothing in bed at someone else’s house 🥴

AIBU to ask her to wear pyjamas??

OP posts:
VickyEadieofThigh · 07/12/2023 21:05

I sleep naked because I can't bear to wear anything in bed these days. But I never have children running in to get in bed with me!

So no - YANBU!

Pipistrellus · 07/12/2023 21:05

I would just tell your children not to enter someone's bedroom unless invited. If she is inviting them in I would ask that she put something on first.

user1471556818 · 07/12/2023 21:06

I'm a nude sleeper but when GS sleeps over I wear pj's so he can jump into bed for a chat . Just seems more sensible
Just say to her would be my advice

TuesWed · 07/12/2023 21:08

I do the same as @user1471556818.

Historybooks · 07/12/2023 21:08

She at least needs underwear on or the kids only come in when she's got that sorted. Yup naked it's a bit much.

Wahtnow · 07/12/2023 21:10

Gosh, yes of course she should wear something. I'm just back from a weekend away with friends, none of us really own PJs but we'd all managed to find something to sleep in in shared rooms, even though we usually prefer to go without.

ChristmasPuddy · 07/12/2023 21:11

YANBU - I would say sleeping naked in someone else’s house is a no no!!

BranchGold · 07/12/2023 21:11

How old are the children? Maybe this should be a good lesson in privacy/consent that they have to knock on the door to see granny in the morning, and she can respond when she’s decent.

YoongiMarryMe · 07/12/2023 21:13

She should be able to sleep comfortably. I agree you should teach your children to knock. Or get a lock for that door. Granny can quickly throw something on then let them in.

edited for a missing n

ComtesseDeSpair · 07/12/2023 21:21

I sleep naked anywhere. Why is sleeping naked in a bedroom with a closed door more inappropriate than being naked when getting changed or in the bathroom? I’d not be that impressed at small kids being allowed to run into bedrooms without knocking or asking. Tell your kids to do that, so DM can have a chance to wake up and get dressed before being ambushed.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 07/12/2023 21:23

She shouldn’t have to wear pyjamas if that’s how she’s comfortable sleeping, but you should teach your kids not to get into bed with her until she’s dressed.

Original poster
Sofitella · 07/12/2023 21:26

She tells them to come in and get in bed with her, they wait if I ask them to. They are also both under 5 so wouldn’t know what I was talking about if I said they can’t go in unless she is dressed. And they don’t know that she isn’t I suppose until they are in bed with her!

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 07/12/2023 21:32

Tell your mum that from now on you want to teach the DC that other people’s bedrooms are private and so they need to knock and wait before going in, and that you think it’s best she uses that time to get dressed because nakedness is less appropriate as they get older. Ultimately bedroom privacy is a lesson for them that’ll benefit you as well - they won’t end up walking in on you having sex.

Missingmyusername · 07/12/2023 21:34

What happens if she needs the toilet? Does she dress? My aunt had naked sleepers once, unfortunately one guest didn’t wipe very well. Missed the point, I would ask she at least wear something in bed.

Flossflower · 07/12/2023 21:45

Missingmyusername · 07/12/2023 21:34

What happens if she needs the toilet? Does she dress? My aunt had naked sleepers once, unfortunately one guest didn’t wipe very well. Missed the point, I would ask she at least wear something in bed.

Yuck! I think people at least need to wear pants when sleeping in someone else’s house.

Bignanny30 · 07/12/2023 21:55

Why does she need to wear something, what’s wrong with the human body. Are you teaching them that it’s something bad or to be ashamed of ?

Helenahandkart · 07/12/2023 22:00

Going against the general consensus here but… why does it matter if she’s naked? If the children are unaware/not bothered by the nudity then who is harmed by this? Presumably you don’t think your DM is a risk to them, and if the children are oblivious then I really don’t see what’s wrong with this.
Nudity isn’t inherently wrong, and I’m guessing that the kids are wearing PJs. As long as granny isn’t coercing them into doing it, then where’s the harm?

If they’re still doing it in their teens I’d be surprised.

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 07/12/2023 22:03

I much prefer to sleep naked but will only do it in my house or my partners because there's only is there. If there's anyone else saying, I won't.

While it takes me longer to get to sleep and I don't sleep as well, I think it's wrong to do it in other company as it may make them uncomfortable.

LittleRedDots · 07/12/2023 22:06

Can't you just ask her to keep a pair of pants and a t-shirt by the bed, get the kids to knock, and not go in until she's told them she's dressed?

Kangaboo · 07/12/2023 22:07

I can't believe there are so many naked sleepers out there! Don't you all get cold in bed? Cold when you get up to go to the loo? Do you all have ensuites or do you visit communal bathrooms naked?

Helenahandkart · 07/12/2023 22:10

Kangaboo · 07/12/2023 22:07

I can't believe there are so many naked sleepers out there! Don't you all get cold in bed? Cold when you get up to go to the loo? Do you all have ensuites or do you visit communal bathrooms naked?

I sleep naked, and go to the bathroom naked as I just live with DH. If I have visitors then I chuck a dressing gown on to go to the bathroom.
In the dead of winter, if I’m cold in bed, I might wear a t-shirt, but I find sleeping in clothes extremely uncomfortable.

QueSyrahSyrah · 07/12/2023 22:10

YANBU. DH is a steadfast naked sleeper at home and in hotels but in someone else's home he always wears boxers at least. It just feels a bit weird not to.

Epidote · 07/12/2023 22:11

If she wants morning cuddles, yes pijamas is the best. Although some people may not believe it, pijamas and clothes protect our body and we all have sensitive parts. The pain of a kid touching hard by mistake your breast with clothes is less painful than without it.
It is just basic protection for her.

BlazingJune · 07/12/2023 22:12

she sounds a bit bonkers.

I can't quite get my head around a naked gran cuddling children in her bed.

Mariposista · 07/12/2023 22:16

This. Teach then to knock and she can have a minute to put a dressing gown on.