To ask DM to wear pyjamas when staying at our house?

[Sofitella]

Now that the DCs are in their own beds, when DM stays over they love to run in to ‘wake her up’ and have cuddles in bed (at a reasonable hour of course).

DM always sleeps naked and TBH I feel a bit uncomfortable with DCs getting in bed with a naked adult. No particular concern, it just seems inappropriate and weird to me. I’d never dream of wearing nothing in bed at someone else’s house 🥴

AIBU to ask her to wear pyjamas??

Aren’t all these naked sleepers freezing in the winter? Or do you keep your heating on all night or something?

I take a nightshirt if I'm staying elsewhere, for going to the bathroom purposes. It's precisely because I get overheated that I sleep naked!

I’m a naked sleeper, I’d ask them to knock & let the grandparent put on a kimono / dressing gown / pyjamas or whatever.

I'm a naked sleeper most of the time. If I was in your position I'd expect her to keep a nighty to pop on before anyone got into bed with me.

Nope, quite the opposite. I like a cool room.

My beds warm enough without needing to wear PJ's... and theres no heating on, I mean theres no actual heating upstairs in my house at all!

We stick the portable electric radiator on an hour before bed, it goes off when we get in bed, by morning I am usually too hot. I do have two duvets and a hot water bottle but thats because my feet are like ice no matter what temp the rest of me is, and PJ's wouldn't help, and socks fall off as I fidget around.

Back to the OP - I'd ask kids to knock and wait, Grandma might want to put some clothes on. Suggest she does, but tbh if they're happy and she's happy I'd not fuss about it, you risk making a big deal about nudity and bodies when it's not necessary, chances are they will come to their own conclusions about seeing Grandma naked in their own time anyway.

I often sleep naked but would wear night clothes at someone else's house unless it was way too hot I guess? I totally get what you are saying, there's not really a concern but it feels a bit wrong? I'd feel weird about my kids getting in bed with my parents naked even though I love and trust them. Having said that I don't worry too much about the kids seeing us naked so maybe I am being unreasonable to feel this way

This is so weird! It feels like a safeguarding issue—naked grandparent inviting children into bed with them?! 🚩🚩 🚩 I’d absolutely refuse and do not think this is normal!

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with her sleeping naked or cuddling her grandchildren naked. They are under 5 FFS. Not teenagers

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

why would I be cold? I have a duvet!

the heating goes off when I start to think about bed, the windows in the bedroom get opened & I get in bed under my duvet.

I’m a naked sleeper but staying at anyone else’s house I always wear pjs and I’d not be happy if my kids jumped into bed with a naked granny!

Put a dressing gown on to go to loo.

@Sofitella it wouldn't worry me in the slightest. My mum started to cover up more around the grandchild when she thought they were of an age where they might start to mind, but certainly not at your kids age. I think it's good for kids to see naked bodies to realise they come in all shapes & sizes.

I wouldn't see any reason not to be naked when in my own bed in my own bedroom iin someone else's house. But I would expect other people, including children, to knock before they come in. An adult, I might simply make sure the sheet was wrapped well round me, a child that might get into bed, I'd put a nightdress on. And then say "come in".

Naked sleep people freak me out 😅

I would say to her that now the kids are getting older you’d appreciate her putting a nightie on if they come into her room.

If you get too hot why do you have a duvet? Surely clothes are lighter than a duvet.

I don’t think it’s appropriate tbh and she could put a nightie on in the morning. How old is she out of interest?

Did she sleep naked when you were a child coming into her bed for cuddles?

A duvet is comfier than PJs. I sleep year round in a vest and knickers.

I wouldnt want my kids getting into bed with naked DM / DF / ILS just seems odd. I wouldnt ask them to cange their sleeping habits but the kids need to learn when / if they can go into someone else's bedroom.

Do you have an en suite? How do they go to the bathroom? I'm all for body awareness etc but no one needs to see granny / grandad going for a wee naked.

She needs to get dressed before inviting the dc in. Or yes, she needs to sleep in pyjamas if unwilling to get out of bed to dress in the morning. Surely everyone saying it’s fine she cuddles them in bed naked would be saying 🚩 galore if this was a grandad asking toddlers to get into his bed for naked cuddles.

😂🤢😂

How about not letting your children go wake sleeping gran up.

The OP, said the granny tells the children to come in, they don’t wake her up.

I can remember going into my parents room and getting in bed them in the morning. I wore a nightie, they were naked. I never thought anything of it, and at some point I decided they were gross and smelt bad and I didn’t want to do it anymore, so I stopped.
Why do bodies need to be covered up all the time? The implication is that there is some kind of sexual ickiness about it, but nudity is normal within families. I know plenty of people who walk around their houses naked, in front of their children, including grandparents. Nudity does not equal sexual abuse.

There's nothing inherently wrong with nudity, nor is is it in itself a safeguarding issue.

At some point your children will probably start to become embarassed about snuggling up to a naked granny, and then you can validae their feelings and explain to granny that they would like her to cover up, and if she doesn't then it is completely OK for them not to want to get into bed with her.