To ask DM to wear pyjamas when staying at our house?

[Sofitella]

Now that the DCs are in their own beds, when DM stays over they love to run in to ‘wake her up’ and have cuddles in bed (at a reasonable hour of course).

DM always sleeps naked and TBH I feel a bit uncomfortable with DCs getting in bed with a naked adult. No particular concern, it just seems inappropriate and weird to me. I’d never dream of wearing nothing in bed at someone else’s house 🥴

AIBU to ask her to wear pyjamas??

YANBU OP

I can't believe there are so many naked sleepers out there! Don't you all get cold in bed? Cold when you get up to go to the loo? Do you all have ensuites or do you visit communal bathrooms naked?

Have you never heard of dressing gowns?

Why? Unless you think they’re going to wander onto the landing like that, I can’t see the problem. How would you even know what they (don’t) wear in bed?

Sorry but this made me giggle. I agree it's maybe slightly weird but I actually don't think it's a big deal, presumably your children would get into bed naked with you. She's their granny so I don't see it being much different.

Why don't you put a dressing gown on the back of her door and ask her to put it on or tbh I would go in and Chuck it to her and say something like "let granny put her dressing gown on kids before you jump in otherwise granny might get chilly"

And if it was grandpa? Would that still be ok?

It's not grandpa though, is it?

I hate sleeping naked unless it’s really hot. Keeps your bedding cleaner for longer too. There’s nothing wrong or shameful about nudity but for most people it’s a private matter and most people don’t want to be forced to look at other people’s naked bodies!

Why have you not seen told your mum this is inappropriate

This is so weird

When does she tell them?

If it’s during the day-say, ‘that’s fine mum-shout when you’ve got some clothes on tomorrow morning and I’ll send them in’

If it’s in the morning and she’s calling out for them-poke your head round the door and say, ‘when you’re decent, call out and I’ll bring them in’.

She can wear what she wants to bed, but you aren’t being unreasonable to want her to put some clothes in if they’re getting into bed with her at her request.

I think it's all about context, and there is a balancing act between body confidence and personal space.

When I take my kids (and their friends) swimming or paddleboarding, I think nothing of them seeing me naked in the changing room or communal showers, but I would not walk around the house naked. I guess I am trying to model a level of confidence vs modesty that I hope they will emulate. We have two DDs and two DSs and when they were little there was obviously lots of running around naked at bathtime, and it did take a while as they grew older to reinforce that naked in the bathroom or the bedroom is fine, but at least use a towel if you're going between the two if you think other people might see you.

I would have no problem with guests sleeping naked, and even if the kids poked their heads in and said hi, but if they are getting into bed and having cuddles, then I begin to get uncomfortable. I think if you switch grandma for a favourite uncle who you trust entirely, would you be totally happy with your kids getting into bed with him while he was naked? And I'm not suggesting anything inappropriate about the uncle, I would just be interested if switching gender would change your perspective and why. Asking her to say "just give grandma a second to put her dressing gown on" would not be unreasonable.

"We have two DDs and two DSs and when they were little there was obviously lots of running around naked at bathtime,"

To be clear it was the children running around naked. Not us!!! 😂

I find it cringe that someone would sleep naked when they're staying at someone else's house!
No way would you want your kids jumping in with her!

You do realise that when couples sleep over at your house they not only sleep naked but they also have sex, often twice....... 😱😱😱😜

My family have always been very relaxed when it comes to nudity. Now we have grandchildren I know my daughter wouldn't have any issues with our grandkids bathing with us if the needs
arose , or with us getting charged in communal changing runs etc. but when they sleep over we do wear something. Normally my DH is in boxers and I wear always a pair of knickers and lately since the eldest has turned 3 a skinny vest top or bralette. Nudity really isn't anything to be scared of and since of the comments on here about red flags are ridiculous. In Europe it's very very different to the uk and much more relaxed, especially in the scandi countries!

This 👆 Ever since our kids were little bedrooms were private. The kids always had to knock and wait before entering and were never allowed in when we weren’t there. To reinforce the privacy angle, we always knock and wait
before going into their rooms.

You need to teach your kids some appropriate boundaries for guests, not change your guests' inclinations.

We sleep naked and do so if staying with friends and family.

Ah, we’ve had this thread before. You probably don’t need three guesses at how it panned out 😅

I think threads like this do expose inconsistencies in people's views, including my own.

When my kids were little I loved being woken up by them jumping on my bed. I don't have any grandkids yet (and hope not to have any for at least another 10 years given the age of my kids) but I do quite like the idea of being woken up like that again.

So I guess the message to myself is make sure I wear jimjams when the grandkids sleep over! 😁

I always sleep absolutely naked even in the dead of winter but i would NEVER ever do this at someone else’s home. It’s probably not the norm and it’s just a matter of respect / in case they need to come in suddenly etc.

I find it really bizarre that she doesn’t understand that social cue and doesn’t mind someone else’s children being next to her naked fanny ! Weird as fuck as they’re not even her kids !