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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tell me about your teenager's stupid behaviour

633 replies

TeenagedTwit · 06/12/2023 04:30

16yo
Wants a job. Apparently.
Weirdly, a job hasn't fluttered into his bedroom and landed on his lap so he is most perplexed.

Picked up an application form for him from a local supermarket.
Encourage him to get a pen (no easy feat) and sit down to complete application.

20 seconds later... "What's my name?"

And that was just the beginning. I swear a 4yo would make a better employee. I fear for our future.

Note from MNHQ - we've edited the title as we had a few reports about one of the terms used there. We're sure there was no intention to offend but it was clearly upsetting a few people and we didn't want the issue to derail the thread

OP posts:
JudgeJ · 06/12/2023 14:48

I once made stock, and then drained it as if it was pasta. So all the actual stock was down the drain, and I was left with the bones.

I'm sure many of us have done that!

Once I'd made a batch of leek/potato soup which I was decanting into freezer boxes, at the same time I was microwaving a carton of clam chowder for lunch, I got the bowl ready, lifted the clam chowder out of the microwave and poured it onto a box of leek/potato. Reader, it is not a good taste but, years of being married to a Yorkshireman, I ate it!

ChocolateCinderToffee · 06/12/2023 14:53

IsAnybodyListening · 06/12/2023 10:17

Prior to covid, I came home from work to find both DC's sitting in a dark house with lighted candles, both completely forlorn over a power cut.
There was no power cut. Apparently they came home and asked Alexa to turn on the lights and TV, unbeknownst to them the Alexa was unplugged and for about 2hrs neither of them thought to just physically turn a light on.

I'm HOWLING!

BearSoFair · 06/12/2023 14:53

Roundaboot · 06/12/2023 11:28

I was doing 6th form college applications with DS recently. On the parent/carer contact details, he had the good sense and memory to put my name and phone number in but stumbled on the relationship question. I had to prompt him "I'm your Mother"
We have two food waste bins in our kitchen, one large one and a smaller one by the kettle for tea bags/coffee grounds etc. I asked him to take out the food waste last night and he only emptied the big one. I reminded him to do the other one..."what other one? Do we have two bins? I'd never seen that there!". It's been on the kitchen counter for years!

Similar here! "Do I put mother or son? Because you're my mother but I'm your son!" I can see his thought process to be fair

AppleCrispMacchiato · 06/12/2023 14:56

Catza · 06/12/2023 08:34

I once worked with someone who told their daughter off for not helping with cleaning. The daughter (16) got upset and rang her friend. Friend helpfully suggested she rings an ambulance and says mum is crazy. Ambulance came out and as the woman was in some shock and distress over the situation, they “processed her” as having MH crisis and took her to the hospital. Psychiatry liaison assessed her and the moron put in her records “doesn’t have insight into her condition”, discharged her home with home crisis team support. Visiting nurses at the very first visit could clearly see she had no MH condition but the service psychiatrist wouldn’t discharge her because of the “no insight” comment. It took a week to reason with him that she couldn’t possibly have an insight into a condition she doesn’t have.

Show quote history

I used to work in psychiatric care and have worked in NHS mental health services, there's absolutely no way this happened the way the person you used to work with described it, unless maybe it was many decades ago (and even then I'm iffy).

An ambulance wouldn't come out just because a pissed off teenager said "Mum's acting crazy." They would ask her a lot of detailed questions about exactly what "acting crazy" means, they would ask about violence, they would ask about self-harm threats, about access to weapons. Unless the teenager was capable of making up a lot of very detailed very malicious lies on the spot (eg claiming her mum had expressed suicidal thoughts and was holding a knife), 999 operators would not send out an ambulance. If the daughter did claim her mother was actively suicidal and holding a knife, or something equally serious, that's a pretty alarming level of deceit for a kid to engage in just because she's pissed off at being told to clean her room, and that in itself is a major red flag that intervention is needed.

And what does "in a state of shock and distress" mean? Most people would be embarrassed and pissed off if their kid phoned 999 just because they got told off, not so visibly shocked and distressed as to make paramedics refer it for a psych assessment. If she was visibly that distressed it indicates a pretty serious fight, not just mum giving a telling off.

The only way they can make someone go to the hospital is if two different doctors both agree that the person is at acute and immediate risk of danger to themselves or to others. There's been a huge bed crisis in NHS mental health care for a long time, I've personal first hand experience of people attempting suicide and not being admitted due to lack of beds, people going missing and being tracked down in obviously very scary and unsafe circumstances not being admitted.

It's possible your former co-worker agreed to go to the hospital voluntarily, of course.

But I'm betting there's a hell of a lot more to this story that what she told you.

PuttingDownRoots · 06/12/2023 14:57

With forms...

Whenever we send permission forms out, we know that at least one will come back with the parents date of birth instead of the child's.

LoveableDave · 06/12/2023 15:01

Friend 1: "I'm so sad Miss has left"
Friend 2: "Yeah, we don't even know what school she's gone to"
DD: "yes we do! She told us she's moving on to "Pastures New" but I've never heard of it, is it in Leeds?

My brother wondered where Random was because when there was a competition the winner was always drawn at Random.
My mother felt sorry for the horse called Bar as it was in every race on TV, they showed the betting odds for some of the horses then Bar was always at the end,

CharlotteBog · 06/12/2023 15:02

Similar here! "Do I put mother or son? Because you're my mother but I'm your son!" I can see his thought process to be fair

This has made my laugh so much. I can just see both my sons Just Not Getting It.

Catza · 06/12/2023 15:04

AppleCrispMacchiato · 06/12/2023 14:56

I used to work in psychiatric care and have worked in NHS mental health services, there's absolutely no way this happened the way the person you used to work with described it, unless maybe it was many decades ago (and even then I'm iffy).

An ambulance wouldn't come out just because a pissed off teenager said "Mum's acting crazy." They would ask her a lot of detailed questions about exactly what "acting crazy" means, they would ask about violence, they would ask about self-harm threats, about access to weapons. Unless the teenager was capable of making up a lot of very detailed very malicious lies on the spot (eg claiming her mum had expressed suicidal thoughts and was holding a knife), 999 operators would not send out an ambulance. If the daughter did claim her mother was actively suicidal and holding a knife, or something equally serious, that's a pretty alarming level of deceit for a kid to engage in just because she's pissed off at being told to clean her room, and that in itself is a major red flag that intervention is needed.

And what does "in a state of shock and distress" mean? Most people would be embarrassed and pissed off if their kid phoned 999 just because they got told off, not so visibly shocked and distressed as to make paramedics refer it for a psych assessment. If she was visibly that distressed it indicates a pretty serious fight, not just mum giving a telling off.

The only way they can make someone go to the hospital is if two different doctors both agree that the person is at acute and immediate risk of danger to themselves or to others. There's been a huge bed crisis in NHS mental health care for a long time, I've personal first hand experience of people attempting suicide and not being admitted due to lack of beds, people going missing and being tracked down in obviously very scary and unsafe circumstances not being admitted.

It's possible your former co-worker agreed to go to the hospital voluntarily, of course.

But I'm betting there's a hell of a lot more to this story that what she told you.

Show quote history

As per my previous post, she was not admitted to a psychiatric hospital. She was taken to A&E, assessed by psych liaison and let go home with HTT support.
Without going into too much detail, she is a very eccentric middle-eastern lady so her shock and distress may have appeared out of proportion compared to gen pop.
Anyway, that's besides the point. The point is that her daughter made a stupid call over a fairly mild domestic dispute on the advice of another clueless teenager which triggered a chain of events and I was remined of this by the PP's story about social services.

socks1107 · 06/12/2023 15:04

My teenager had got dressed in shorts and a shirt and applied suncream, totally appropriate to the sunny weather we were due that day.
She then appeared with two coats and asked me should she wear her winter coat or would her lighter spring coat be ok!

LoveableDave · 06/12/2023 15:07

Alltheyearround · 06/12/2023 14:31

@SingingSands Pastures New is where Bill Payer is thinking of moving to.

We used to see signs on empty hoardings Bill Posters will be prosecuted, we all felt Bill Posters was being persecuted.

NotFastButFurious · 06/12/2023 15:07

UnctuousUnicorns · 06/12/2023 10:27

I once held a pan of spaghetti over the sink and tipped it out to drain. Only I had forgotten to put the colander in the sink. Found myself looking down at a mass of pasta sprawled all over the bottom of the sink. I was a supposedly functioning adult at the time, too.

Show quote history

I've done this too! I also have a "habit" of putting the food waste caddy next to the mug or jug I'm about to crack an egg into to scramble (so that "egg slime" doesn't drip from the shell on the way to the bin) but crack the egg into the food waste bin instead. Usually when it's the last eggs in the fridge. 🙄

LoveableDave · 06/12/2023 15:09

PuttingDownRoots · 06/12/2023 14:57

With forms...

Whenever we send permission forms out, we know that at least one will come back with the parents date of birth instead of the child's.

Or next to the box asking for SEX, the answer Yes please.

MrsPetty · 06/12/2023 15:12

My fifteen year old DD said the other day that she ‘hopes to be one of those Granny’s who’s still running marathons at 75…’ this from a fifteen year old that won’t walk to the shop at the end of the street 😂 apparently she’ll change as she gets older…

Mum2teenboys · 06/12/2023 15:15

DS was standing by the window. I asked him to close the curtains. He asked where they were.

SinnerBoy · 06/12/2023 15:15

Tooshytoshine · Today 13:19

He came back and said his friend Ollie had found it in the cupboard straight away. I asked him how Ollie had found it quickly. He said "oh, he turned the light on so it wasn't dark anymore."

Oh, that's excellent!

AppleCrispMacchiato · 06/12/2023 15:16

Catza · 06/12/2023 15:04

As per my previous post, she was not admitted to a psychiatric hospital. She was taken to A&E, assessed by psych liaison and let go home with HTT support.
Without going into too much detail, she is a very eccentric middle-eastern lady so her shock and distress may have appeared out of proportion compared to gen pop.
Anyway, that's besides the point. The point is that her daughter made a stupid call over a fairly mild domestic dispute on the advice of another clueless teenager which triggered a chain of events and I was remined of this by the PP's story about social services.

Show quote history

Well I'm sorry but I simply don't believe that for a second. (And I've co-authored peer reviewed journal papers on racial bias within psychiatric treatment, so it's not a case of not understanding how that bias can influence things.) I think there's a lot that your former co-worker left out, and I bet money the daughter would have a very different recollection of events.

SinnerBoy · 06/12/2023 15:18

I was quite prone to moronic episodes as a kid. My middle older sister came downstairs crying, when I was 11. I asked her what was wrong and she beckoned me upstairs, so I followed...

She pointed at her standard lamp, minus the bulb and told me she'd stuck her finger in. I did the same.

Despite knowing what was going to happen, having had an electric shock before!

travelallthetime · 06/12/2023 15:28

My DS has a shortened version of a name (think Tom rather than Thomas (it isnt this but same situation). He has always been 'Tom', he never mentioned that he just assumed at 14 that he thought his name was Thomas so on all mock exams and proper paperwork he has to write his name on in school he has been Thomas.

He has a passport in 'Tom', he has used this a lot, he still didnt know what his name was - we have great fun asking us to remind him what his name is

LubaLuca · 06/12/2023 15:32

If we're confessing our own teen stupidity, in my first student digs I changed a socket without turning the power off. I found the experience of brushing death strangely cathartic.

CatMadam · 06/12/2023 15:33

Zebedee999 · 06/12/2023 12:44

Tattoos and a nose ring... they're going council quickly...

Going… council? Wtf?

Ohthatsfabulousdarling · 06/12/2023 15:34

DD actually wrote her name wrong on an exam prompting her to worry about the next exam.

DD offered to run me a bath. So lovely! She's a great kid, she came down stairs and said, the water isn't staying in the bath. Its just running out. She forgot to put the plug in. She's 15.

She threatened to run away with my car a few weeks ago. Alright mate. If you can even start it, you can have it. I just knew that DD, the most capable driver who's ever not driven a car wouldn't know, so I had a good laugh.

She actually gets down on her knees to grab a pizza out of the oven. Knees on the floor, feet out behind her.

These are only the recent ones I can remember.

LyricalGangsta · 06/12/2023 15:39

I left a note yesterday asking for washing to be moved from washing machine to tumble drier once the washing was done.
I received a text message asking if I wanted the dryer turned on too.
DS is 18....

hunderground · 06/12/2023 15:45

@curacao why is it a horrible thread?

My 19 yr old sent me a birthday gift from uni that never arrived. When asked she said Oh I just put the present in the parcel you'd sent me and stuck it in the post, can you not use stamps twice then?

ohdamnitjanet · 06/12/2023 15:46

Schleep · 06/12/2023 11:08

Perhaps not the intention, but I'm going to save this thread for whenever a bout of broodiness threatens to overcome my firm decision to not have children.

Genuinely shocked at the multiple people whose children have called the police / social services on then for petty shite.

And I wish I’d read it before it was too late.

willowtalk · 06/12/2023 16:04

Invisimamma · 06/12/2023 09:42

Mine is only 13 and I'm wondering how much worse it gets from here...

We got a new kitchen, a few weeks later he asked where the bin is, so he hadn't used the bin for 3 weeks.

Projectile vomited over the living room because he vaped too much and made himself ill 🤮. Hopefully learned his lesson.

When he is given money he will spend every last penny rather than save the change for another day e.g. buying two KFC meals and eating them both instead of just getting one meal and saving the rest of his money for something else.

Dp and I went away for the weekend, leaving grandparents in charge, ds didn't change his pants the whole time we were away...4 days! Grandparents didn't think to check as it's kind of a basic thing you expect 13yr olds to shower and change their underwear.

Is this normal? We're completely exasperated with it.

Why is he vaping? It’s so bad for their lungs - he’s not even fully developed yet. They contain an addictive drug (nicotine) at the very least and can contain toxic chemicals.

The UK gov need to introduce legislation that only enables vaping if you have a prescription from the dr to quite smoking - that’s what they do in Aus/NZ.

it’s not a harmless product