Neighbour asked us to stop our Christmas lights flashing

[SuddenlyISee]

Outside Christmas lights got put up on Sunday morning going around a couple of the windows at the front of the house (we live end terrace on a close).
We were out till late on Sunday evening so they were only on for probably an hour that day and then I switched them on when I got home from work at about 3:30 yesterday. Within an hour, my opposite neighbour knocked on my door and said that although he really likes the "Christmas cheer", could we not have them flashing all the time as they are disturbing him at night. They are turned off no later than 10pm as that is when we go to bed. There are multiple settings and I can't control that my children keep changing them when I'm not in the room where the plug is. I just feel like I'm going to spend the next few weeks worrying that our lights are offending him and wonder if I should just take them down. The neighbours either side of the neighbour that complained have both got the same lights as us so I have the same view as him, if not more so, and I can't see how it would affect anyone

This. "The kids do X so there's nothing I can do" isn't really an argument.

We have this situation and the flashing is really intrusive. It's like the visual equivalent of nails on blackboard - really hard to ignore and headache-inducing. I genuinely feel a bit disorientated if I don't turn away - there's a reason that TV companies give a warning when there's flashing lights in a clip!

We shut the curtains much earlier than we would otherwise, and that feels a bit claustrophobic and oppressive.

Also, it's a bit <whispers> tacky.

Basically.

YABU. Flashing lights are annoying, and your neighbour doesn't have much choice about seeing them, as you've chosen to put them up outside.

Flashing lights are horrible, intrusive and tacky. Do your children largely make the rules at yours?

I can't control that my children keep changing them when I'm not in the room where the plug is.

Yes, you can. If they're not old enough to understand not to put them on flashing at night, then don't give them access without adult supervision.

A house near me burnt down due to xmas lights a couple of years ago and the mum and kids died. I'd always turn them off at night anyway.

Also bear in mind that your outside lights are for the benefit of your neighbours and passers by. Not for you. If you desperately want flashing lights, put them inside and enjoy them yourself.

Flashing lights = migraine for me. I had to have an extra layer of blackout last Christmas just for that reason. I’m very much with your neighbour.

can't control that my children keep changing them when I'm not in the room where the plug is. 🙄ffs.

YABU, explain to your kids how changing the light setting to flashing isn't fair on your neighbour.

Yes, give the kids free rein over flashing lights in your bedroom with the curtains closed.

I think flashing lights which can be seen from outside a property ought be banned. They're distracting to drivers, and can trigger migraines or worse.
(They're also aggressive and intrusive, IMO.)

Flashing lights are a public nuisance and blue flashing fairy lights should be banned IMO.

But - you can teach your DCs not to fiddle with the controls just like you presumably taught them not to push scissors or other items in the socket holes. They have a choice - lights on the non flashing setting or no lights! Just parent your kids.

YABU. Flashing lights are annoying, can trigger migraines, epilepsy, and sensory overload.

If you can’t teach your children to stop being selfish arses, you need to take the lights down.

@SuddenlyISee

I can relate to your next door neighbour,

I have an neighbour who has her front door light on allmost constantly, shining like a light house into my living room,

it's not going to do with if you are light senistive,
it's just being considerate in my kind of situation,

doesn't help in the past the postman knocked on our door , for a parcel for my next-door across the rd neighbour,
who was out at that time,
for safe keeping,

thinking we were being helpful neighbour of theirs,
we took in the parcel,

following few days later, our next-door neighbour with a face as miserable as sin, looked like a smacked arse turned up,
to collect her parcel,
not once did she thank us or smile just to show she appreciating her parcel been looked after,
not having to go out of her way to pick it up at the sorting office,
never again do that for someone like her,

Happy to help other neighbours of ours, than her.

I have photosensitive epilepsy and absolutely hate this time of year because of all the flashing lights. If they don’t trigger full on seizures they can still trigger a migraine that makes me really sick so I do have a lot of sympathy for your neighbour. Is there not any way to hide the box from your kids if they’re too young to understand not fiddling with them?

I agree.

I hate flashing lights at the best of times, but my daughter has seizures that are triggered by flashing lights. This time of year is an absolute shit show for her.

She does have a black out blind and curtains in her room, but there is still a certain amount of light seepage - especially when lights are flashing.

Luckily my neighbours are all considerate and keep their lights on either the static setting, or the slow glow type settings.

Maybe stop your kids messing with the switch. Our lights are controlled by a phone app, do yours do anything like that?

I really don't get why such a situation becomes an issue.

You say that they are off when you go to bed at 10pm. He says that he can't get to sleep.

So just agree to turn them off at 9pm (assume he doesn't go earlier) and maybe agree that from 8pm, they become static.

End of the problem, happy neighbour grateful for your consideration and your kids still get to enjoy them!

The op has redacted and said she will stop the kids, looks like she just wrote that as she wanted to not stop them flashing for some odd reason.

It's nothing to do if we are light senistive it, just it's annoying as heck having such a strong light shining with such intensity in your direction,

at least one good thing from this situation, it should deter any potential burglars tempted to break into my house

If the parish council were even a tiny bit considerate the lights wouldn't flash at all. Lots of people suffer from things like migraines and epilepsy which can be triggered by inconsiderate flashing lights.
I might also add, though lights can be nice, flashing lights just look crappy and vulgar.

Seriously? Give us your address and we will all pop round and point flashing strobe lights into house till you go to bed, see how happy you are.

Another migraine sufferer here. Christmas lights are lovely, twinkling or slow fade between colours is fine, but strobey flashing is a migraine trigger and I can’t understand why anyone with an ounce of decency who knows about migraines and epilepsy would still have them. I would understand why someone would be upset if they spent a fortune on lights and were told to take them down but they generally come with less anti social options available at the flick of a switch.

Flashing lights are right up there with wind chimes in my "work of the devil" list. But flashing lights are worse, because as previous posters have pointed out, they can trigger medical conditions.

I’m amazed that with the cost of electricity now people can afford all these flashing lights

With LEDs the cost is negligible, that’s one reason why it has become such an issue in recent years.