Neighbour asked us to stop our Christmas lights flashing

[SuddenlyISee]

Outside Christmas lights got put up on Sunday morning going around a couple of the windows at the front of the house (we live end terrace on a close).
We were out till late on Sunday evening so they were only on for probably an hour that day and then I switched them on when I got home from work at about 3:30 yesterday. Within an hour, my opposite neighbour knocked on my door and said that although he really likes the "Christmas cheer", could we not have them flashing all the time as they are disturbing him at night. They are turned off no later than 10pm as that is when we go to bed. There are multiple settings and I can't control that my children keep changing them when I'm not in the room where the plug is. I just feel like I'm going to spend the next few weeks worrying that our lights are offending him and wonder if I should just take them down. The neighbours either side of the neighbour that complained have both got the same lights as us so I have the same view as him, if not more so, and I can't see how it would affect anyone

Fair enough, flashing lights nearby would annoy me too.

Just turn them onto static mode, or even gently twinkling if you must, and then tell your kids firmly that if they touch the plug again, the lights will have to be turned off for this year.

Your neighbour has made a reasonable request and sounds like he’s asked nicely. I would explain to my (very young primary and pre schooler age) children that they either leave the light settings alone or the lights would be taken off altogether- and mean it. Sounds like the issue is that you think your kids aren’t going to listen to you, rather than the neighbour’s request.

YABU. The neighbour is right. Stop the annoying lights. If it wasn't bothering him he wouldn't have come over.

I can't control that my children keep changing them when I'm not in the room where the plug is.

Well you can, you are just choosing not to.

I would hate it if the people opposite had a festive disco on the outside of their house which was coming into my space.

Christ that’s the stuff of nightmares, I barely see them, everyone knows how awful it is, and it gives people headaches, epileptic fits etc,

Can't you just check what time he goes to bed and put them on static then? If the kids mess with them earlier it doesn't matter but if he's going to bed at 9 would ot kill you to have them on static for an hour? Surely the kids are on bed too by then

The lights themselves are fine, lovely in fact. it’s the flashing! Really, really difficult to ignore for lots of people. I would honestly prefer a car alarm to six hours of flashing lights. Just put them on a fixed setting and tell kids to leave them or they will be coming down.

What so when hes awake he has to have lights flashing into his house?

Yabu, I can see my neighbours flashing lights and they are annoying as hell! It looks like there's a rave going on in the street.

He not asking for them to be taken down, just used on a less annoying setting. It sounds extremely fair.

I can't control that my children keep changing them when I'm not in the room where the plug is. - yes you can, as others have pointed out .....

Totally reasonable to ask you to switch off flashing lights. They are very annoying if they are on for too long.

I have epilepsy and migraines.

I also love Christmas and gaudy lights but it's genuinely stressful walking the last unavoidable bit of my street which seems full of laser beam strength flashing lights. They really seem to have got a lot stronger in recent years.

Please put them on static and teach your children consideration. Tape the switch down if need be.

Your neighbour was very polite and bright flashing lights can have nasty consequences.

As for why he doesn't ask others? Well maybe only yours shine directly in and so are the only ones bothering him. Why is that the point? We don't live in a vacuum. Why not be a bit more community minded instead of about what you 'should' get away with for your own convenience.

There are multiple settings and I can't control that my children keep changing them when I'm not in the room where the plug is.

Yes you can.
Yabu and The idea you can't give your children and simple instruction that they follow with or without discipline is ridiculous.
It's totally antisocial behaviour. flashing lights are awful and affect people badly.
Put your lights on solid setting like every other sensible reasonable person.

Stop being a bad neighbour.

Flashing xmas lights are annoying.
You either catch sight of them in the car mirror and think it's a police car/ambulance coming. Or they give you a headache seeing them constantly.
Don't understand why they need to flash

YABU stop the flashing. If you can't control your children you'll need to consider whether the lights stay up - tell them that.

Agree with this. I LOVE static or gently twinkling Christmas lights, but the flashing ones are migraine and epilepsy inducing for some, and bloody annoying for most.

YABU. Flashing lights are awful. Why can't you have them static?

I get migraines this time of year due to the awful blue ones flashing everywhere 😭 I wouldn't say anything but I don't see how people don't realise they can be very annoying, let alone cause migraines.

YABU, I find flashing lights really distressing. Put them on a fixed setting.

Of course you can control your children changing the settings, same as how you would tell them not to do other things.

Keep control box out of way of kids. I love love christmas lights, but flashing is really annoying. Opposite have flashing lights which come through to where I work from home with it being pretty much dark by 4pm at the moment. But none flashing is great. I think it's a suitable compromise isn't it?

Ha there was a thread from the other pov literally yesterday in which most posters had the opposite opinion - that it was grinchy to object to flashing lights and you should buy blackout curtains if they annoy you. By which I have gathered that a lot of posters on MN will just argue the opposite opinion to the OP for giggles.

But anyway I agree with the neighbour-he's asked you very nicely, doesn't want you to turn them off just to stop them flashing which is very reasonable. If you'd prefer to take your whole lights down again rather than just tell your children not to touch something you have much bigger issues than a light display!

Switch them to just being on constantly and then tape over the buttons so your children can’t mess with them.

Flashing lights can be very disruptive and uncomfortable, but there is a really straightforward solution here that allows nice festive lights without causing your neighbour any grief.

He has made a reasonable request, buy your children their own flashing inside decoration and tell them to not switch the outside ones from when you reset them.

YABU and lazy.

I presume she has already tried that?