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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour asked us to stop our Christmas lights flashing

477 replies

SuddenlyISee · 05/12/2023 12:16

Outside Christmas lights got put up on Sunday morning going around a couple of the windows at the front of the house (we live end terrace on a close).
We were out till late on Sunday evening so they were only on for probably an hour that day and then I switched them on when I got home from work at about 3:30 yesterday. Within an hour, my opposite neighbour knocked on my door and said that although he really likes the "Christmas cheer", could we not have them flashing all the time as they are disturbing him at night. They are turned off no later than 10pm as that is when we go to bed. There are multiple settings and I can't control that my children keep changing them when I'm not in the room where the plug is. I just feel like I'm going to spend the next few weeks worrying that our lights are offending him and wonder if I should just take them down. The neighbours either side of the neighbour that complained have both got the same lights as us so I have the same view as him, if not more so, and I can't see how it would affect anyone

OP posts:
Wednesdaysotherchild · 05/12/2023 12:42

thefallen · 05/12/2023 12:20

YABU. Flashing lights when you're trying to sleep is horrible. If you can't control your children fiddling with the settings then the lights need to go off.

This

Dinoswearunderpants · 05/12/2023 12:42

These replies are hilarious. I'm sure you all comply with dictations from your neighbours.

Sounds perfectly fine to have your lights on. Do they not have curtains? Failing that, perhaps pop an eye mask through the door as a compromise.

Merry Christmas OP!

cheddercherry · 05/12/2023 12:43

I think since he’s asked just for them to be not flashing he’s been totally reasonable. I’ve lived across from flashing lights and even trying to watch tv and relax when you’ve got strobes and beams outside your window for hours on end is annoying as hell.

LAMPS1 · 05/12/2023 12:44

YABU
As a migraine sufferer, flashing lights are a nightmare.
And as somebody who sleeps early and wakes up early to work, they are also a real nuisance preventing sleep.
Your neighbour asked nicely and your excuse that you can’t control your children is very poor.
If you want outside lights …and of course families with young children do, then make sure they are never flashing. Explain why to your children so that they can learn and then forbid them to change the setting.

allmyliesaretrue · 05/12/2023 12:44

Flashing lights are so irritating. However, we just close our curtains. Off the top of my head, I couldn't tell you whose lights flash and whose are static.

However, you need to control your children. They shouldn't be fiddling with the switches anyway. It's not an unreasonable request.

Peablockfeathers · 05/12/2023 12:44

Seems reasonable to just make sure you don't use the flashing light feature, a good compromise. My old neighbour used to have some and it's surprising how annoying they are when you have them imposed on you.

Catza · 05/12/2023 12:44

JustAGirlScotland · 05/12/2023 12:21

I can’t help but feel that if you are light sensitive then it is your duty to buy yourself black out blinds or curtains! Otherwise you will be continually annoyed by street lights, cars driving past and neighbours outside lights.

I am not bothered by outside lights but DH is so we bought black out blinds. I wouldn’t dream of bothering neighbours unless they were being excessively noisy!

We once had a neighbour who would leave his lawn mover running in his garden for hours on end to "burn off fuel". He would also burn car tires in his back garden. Should it be up to us to get earplugs and respirators or do you think he could have been a bit less of a nuisance instead?
OP, other neighbours may have the same view of your lights but the fact that they haven't complained could mean that they are out of the house more, are less sensitive to lights or are suffering in silence.
Your children either need to be told not to play with settings or have a remote out of reach if they are too young to reason with.
Also, we went to bed at 9pm last night. Just because you don't think 10pm is late, doesn't mean other people follow the same schedule.

CaptainMyCaptain · 05/12/2023 12:44

MuttsNutts · 05/12/2023 12:23

YABU. Flashing lights are so annoying.

If you can’t control your children you need to take them down.

Agreed. Flashing lights are horrible.

allmyliesaretrue · 05/12/2023 12:45

Dinoswearunderpants · 05/12/2023 12:42

These replies are hilarious. I'm sure you all comply with dictations from your neighbours.

Sounds perfectly fine to have your lights on. Do they not have curtains? Failing that, perhaps pop an eye mask through the door as a compromise.

Merry Christmas OP!

Hardly a "dictation" - it's a civil, perfectly reasonable, request.

Ever hear of being considerate?

CormorantStrikesBack · 05/12/2023 12:45

What do you mean you can't control your kids? Blimey, just tell them no and if they ignore you deal with it. If they wanted to play with knives would you just say well I can't control them.

Flashing lights are really disturbing.

Your neighbour has asked you to do something which has very little impact on you....do you really care if they are static or flashing. Why would you not want to be considerate?

TomatoSandwiches · 05/12/2023 12:46

Dinoswearunderpants · 05/12/2023 12:42

These replies are hilarious. I'm sure you all comply with dictations from your neighbours.

Sounds perfectly fine to have your lights on. Do they not have curtains? Failing that, perhaps pop an eye mask through the door as a compromise.

Merry Christmas OP!

Why is it ridiculous to be considerate to your neighbours when all it takes is being a parent and teaching your children to not touch a bloody switch?

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 05/12/2023 12:46

Even if you can't control the kids changing the settings (which you can), surely you would change them back once realising? You must know they flash because you know the kids fiddle with them.

SurelySmartie · 05/12/2023 12:46

It should be possible to stop your children playing with electrics! Just sort them and leave on static!

CormorantStrikesBack · 05/12/2023 12:47

We asked that the massive tree opposite us not have flashing lights through the night. dd has curtains and a blind but the lights still flashed through. Even with your eyes shut the flash was noticeable (seriously). Thankfully the parish council were only too happy to be considerate and put them to static at 9pm.

easylikeasundaymorn · 05/12/2023 12:47

Dinoswearunderpants · 05/12/2023 12:42

These replies are hilarious. I'm sure you all comply with dictations from your neighbours.

Sounds perfectly fine to have your lights on. Do they not have curtains? Failing that, perhaps pop an eye mask through the door as a compromise.

Merry Christmas OP!

Perhaps you should ask for a dictionary for christmas so you can look up what dictate means....hint it isn't "ask politely."

And yes if my neighbours (or anyone!) politely made a reasonable request that wouldn't negatively affect me in the slightest (because if I was op in this scenario I'd still have my lights up) but would positively affect them of course I would at least consider it. Because I'm not a cunt. In fact I sometimes even do favours for people that...gasp....put me out a bit!

NameChangeAgain23 · 05/12/2023 12:47

I don't love flashing lights myself so mine are on a slow fade for different colours. I turn them off around 9pm tbf as I'm an early to bed person.

User1775 · 05/12/2023 12:48

What do you mean you cannot control what your children do?

Workawayxx · 05/12/2023 12:48

I'd either switch the flashing off or put them on a timer switch (I have mine on a timer as I kept forgetting to switch them off!) to go off at 8.30 or 9pm or something?

ChateauDuMont · 05/12/2023 12:48

Two separate issues. The complaint about the lights and the inability to parent your children.

The foremost can be easily solved by having the lights on but not flashing.

The latter will require your putting in some effort.

Notsurewhatnext · 05/12/2023 12:48

Just turn them off. I had to approach our neighbour too. Such a nuisance when you want to go to sleep and this shit keeps on flashing. I don't understand why people put this inconsiderate crap up in the first place. Put flashing lights m indoor at all hours of the day but don't impose them on others who didn't ask for it.

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 05/12/2023 12:48

YABVU these things are horribly tacky anyway even before they start to flash and annoy your neighbours peaceful enjoyment of their home. Control your kids or don’t have the things at all.

AllTheChaos · 05/12/2023 12:48

Dinoswearunderpants · 05/12/2023 12:42

These replies are hilarious. I'm sure you all comply with dictations from your neighbours.

Sounds perfectly fine to have your lights on. Do they not have curtains? Failing that, perhaps pop an eye mask through the door as a compromise.

Merry Christmas OP!

Mmmhmmm. Perhaps my neighbour with epilepsy should just tell her brain to stop having seizures from flashing lights? Or spend the whole of December with her eyes covered? Or, just maybe, people could show some consideration for others?

PoliticallyIncorrectHitchling · 05/12/2023 12:48

I sympathise with your neighbours. Flashing lights are awful and Id get headaches.

BigPussyEnergy · 05/12/2023 12:49

Tell your children that every time they mess about with the lights Santa will take away one of their gifts. Wonder if that will ‘control’ them?

YABU, be a bit more respectful of your neighbours and do a better job of controlling your kids for their own sakes.

SparkyBlue · 05/12/2023 12:49

We had this two years ago. DH went a bit crazy with lights and the woman across from me knocked and was so embarrassed god love her and said they were flashing directly into her bedroom. Of course we didn't turn in the flashing one again

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