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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour asked us to stop our Christmas lights flashing

477 replies

SuddenlyISee · 05/12/2023 12:16

Outside Christmas lights got put up on Sunday morning going around a couple of the windows at the front of the house (we live end terrace on a close).
We were out till late on Sunday evening so they were only on for probably an hour that day and then I switched them on when I got home from work at about 3:30 yesterday. Within an hour, my opposite neighbour knocked on my door and said that although he really likes the "Christmas cheer", could we not have them flashing all the time as they are disturbing him at night. They are turned off no later than 10pm as that is when we go to bed. There are multiple settings and I can't control that my children keep changing them when I'm not in the room where the plug is. I just feel like I'm going to spend the next few weeks worrying that our lights are offending him and wonder if I should just take them down. The neighbours either side of the neighbour that complained have both got the same lights as us so I have the same view as him, if not more so, and I can't see how it would affect anyone

OP posts:
GuitarGeorgina · 05/12/2023 13:01

He is being perfectly reasonable!

Womanofcustard · 05/12/2023 13:02

Bring your flashing lights indoors

Heyhoherewegoagain · 05/12/2023 13:03

can't control that my children keep changing them when I'm not in the room where the plug is.

Whyever not?

Dontgivemeplants · 05/12/2023 13:04

Flashing lights are a nightmare and should be banned (imo)

Canisaysomething · 05/12/2023 13:04

Loads of flashing lights are for big American detached houses with lots of space, not for a terrace with someone else’s bedroom window a few metres away. Just put them on a timer plug to go off at 6pm.

abominablesnowman · 05/12/2023 13:04

God I thought we'd moved beyond the incredibly annoying constantly flashing lights in public. It would absolutely disturb my evening, sleep or not.
YABVU

ClawedButler · 05/12/2023 13:05

Christmas lights - lovely.

Flashing Christmas lights - like having fireflies darting at you from every angle. It feels like an assault on the senses, I find it really disturbing and jarring.

cerisepanther73 · 05/12/2023 13:05

@cyclamenqueen

L.o.l I agree 😁

AInightingale · 05/12/2023 13:06

My neighbour's flashing Christmas lights are on ALL NIGHT. Could see them through my blinds this morning at 3am. Blue lights too - I thought someone had called the police or there had been some terrible mishap outside!

Honestly, when did people start doing this? They aren't even Christmassy.

I have some neighbours with static lights outside which look really pretty and festive, but those flashing ones are the pits.

Comefromaway · 05/12/2023 13:07

If I knew that my christmas lights were causing someone genuine distress then I would switch them off because that is the nice thing to do.

PanettonePuff · 05/12/2023 13:08

We had a beautifully decorated big tree up at work just before Covid, and the cleaner kept climbing up & messing with the settings so they flashed like a bloody rave (neon blue😱) they got on my damn nerves and I kept changing them to a gentle twinkle.

Eventually a customer complained that they were making her feel ill…. When we started back after Covid, head office sent a memo round saying under no account should there be flashing lights at Christmas or any other time due to epilepsy triggers or general discomfort.

They are a nuisance to people.

vivainsomnia · 05/12/2023 13:08

Seriously? Give us your address and we will all pop round and point flashing strobe lights into house till you go to bed, see how happy you are
Well that's exactly the case in my close. It doesn't bother me at all, I have my curtains to hide it. They are off by the time I go to bed. No issues at all.

Moredarkchocolateplease · 05/12/2023 13:08

Twinkling is one thing, flashing is another.

I had to ask our very elderly neighbours to stop theirs flashing.

I didn't mind them on 'constant' but having lights on a five way rotation of an uneven flash nearly drove me mad. They had them on till midnight.

dutysuite · 05/12/2023 13:09

I find the flashing lights annoying especially when driving. There’s a house near me which is covered in flashing lights on the corner of a junction and it almost blinds me when driving past. So dangerous.

VickyEadieofThigh · 05/12/2023 13:09

WaverleyOwl · 05/12/2023 12:26

Flashing Christmas lights are a pet peeve of mine and do my head in. Doubly so if they are brilliant white or blue.

Can't you stop your children from fiddling with them somehow?

I can't bear them, either - they also trigger migraines for some people.

They're very intrusive. YABU, OP. If he says they're disturbing him if on the flash setting, you need to sort it.

Blondeshavemorefun · 05/12/2023 13:10

You need to control your children so that they don't ever touch plugs/electrical stuff while young

Flashing lights are nice at Christmas

I get some dont like them

Turning them off at night or having then on no flash by 10 is fair

Mine are on a timer. On 6. Off 18

Think they are 4/10

Iwant2beJessicaFletcher · 05/12/2023 13:11

I LOVE christmas and have had my lights and trees up since 22nd November. But I cant stand flashing lights as they give me migraines - actual migraines with an aura, violently sick for several hours and they render me completely incapable of anything, even breathing hurts my head.

YABVU not to turn the lights onto static - its normally 7 pushes of the switch to make them stay on static. You should do this as its extremely unneighbourly to ignore your neigh ours polite, and completely understandable request. You should also be able to tell your children to not touch the switch. My youngest is 5 and understands he is not allowed to touch it so your should be able to follow this instruction too.

Winnipeggy · 05/12/2023 13:13

Turn them off at 8 surely? That's standard around us

ActDottie · 05/12/2023 13:13

Flashing lights would piss me off too. There’s no need for them to be flashing just set them to one mode where they don’t flash and make sure your kids don’t change it. If they’re old enough to change the lights themselves they’re old enough to be told not to put them on flashing mode.

Cas112 · 05/12/2023 13:14

Can you not just have a bit of authority and teach your children not to mess with them?

which they shouldn't really be messing with electricals really anyway

WonderingAboutThus · 05/12/2023 13:14

YABU unreasonable to think you shouldn't be able to control your kids.

ChristmasSteps295 · 05/12/2023 13:14

Turn them off earlier in the evening, firstly.

Secondly, sit your kids down and explain that messing with them is upsetting others and they'll be taken down if they don't stop.

BotterMon · 05/12/2023 13:16

YABVU - maybe he or a family member has epilepsy or suffers from migraines.

Flashing lights are tacky as fuck so just keep them on permanently until they go off at 10pm. Hide the remote or whatever it is from the kids and tell them not to touch the lights.

Rm2018 · 05/12/2023 13:17

YABVU as a migraine sufferer this would be a nightmare. Control your kids or remove

Pipistrellus · 05/12/2023 13:18

8pm is late enough when it's dark at 4. If your children are too young to follow instructions then use a stairgate or playpen to keep the switches out of their reach.

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