To be annoyed that my friend ( a teacher) may be disciplined for telling parents one of her pupils took a pregnancy test?

[NiceTry]

The girl had confided in her and the test was arranged, via school nurse but my colleague decided that the girl's parents should be informed and may now face disciplinary procedures because the girl had not consented to this (the test was negative by the way). Obviously the girl (and parents) are very upset. But did she do the right thing?

Of course the girl is blaming your friend!

She was wrong to tell the parents and is the reason why so many teenagers feel they have noone they can talk to.

Even if the test had been positive it still wouldn't have been her place to tell them, except if the girl had asked her to-she should have talked to the girl, offered her support and advice, not jut barged in and told tales (which is exactly how the girl will be seeing it)

unless you have spoken to the girl you are just surmising that, and i doubt your friend is going to say that the girl is furious and full of blame

Message withdrawn

"Nab, she risked her job by going against her superiors when she certainly did not need to get involved (it is they who have complained not the child or family)"

bully for her

no, she opened her gob because she wanted to suit herself

My DD is far too little for this, but I know that if it happened to DD that I would really really want to know. I also know that your friend did the wrong thing. It is really hard to confide in people when you are a teenager, and she was brave enough to tell your friend so that a test could be arrange. That was a really responsible thing for the teenager to do. Trouble is, now if anything else happens to her, who does she confide in? She will have lost all trust in authority, and so will everyone else in the school.

Guidelines for adults in close communication with younr people need to be very clear. Whatever the policy wsa, she should have stuck to it ridgidly - or at least discussed it with the head or head of year before veering from guidelines.

In fact, I am surprised that the policy encourages teachers to offer confidentiality. My organisation (not a school) has a policy which is to be clear with young people that we cannot promise complete confidentiality - and a discosure over something which indicates that a yp is at risk or engaged in something which makes then unsafe, vulnerable or illegal cannot be kept confidential.

It's very hard. i know teenagers need to be able to discuss things with a trusted adult...and the test was negative anyway.

TheFallenMadonna - yes my colleague regrets not informing social services first. We also know now that the girl's mother has sought advice from the police. Reallytired, working in a very multicultural school I feel you have very prejudiced views on strict muslim families. However, if a girl is at risk of being murdered by her family then obviously that is a separate child protection issue.

There could be serious consequences to this I think, if it becomes common knowledge that your colleague told the girl's parents.

Some of the things that children tell their teachers involve their family. And while I agree that individual teachers cannot agree to keeping such information completely confidential, it is really important that those children feel confident enough to tell someone what is happening to them without it getting back to their parents. That the teacher they confide in will go through the appropriate channels to get them some help. Not easy if they think that telling parents is what happens in these situations.

Blu, my colleague never promised confidentiality the girl requested it. My colleage also told the girl she was going to speak to her mother before she did.

The confidentiality thing has worried me on this thread actually. Many posters have said that the teacher should not have told anyone. This is not the policy in any of the schools I have worked in. We are not to promise confidentiality, and must refer any child protection issues to the appointed person.

Individual teachers really have very little discretion. If there is any doubt at all, then the appointed person should be consulted, and the decision lies with them.

Perhaps another reason why teenage pregnancy is on the increase is that children have too many rights and not enough responsibilities and boundaries. A 14 year old child does not always know what is best for them (although they might think they do) and usually a parent offers better guidance than a teacher (no long term commitment to the child) or an over zealous school nurse.

But in this case the teacher did decide what was best for the girl didn't she?

Teenage pregnancy is on the increase because sex is a usually taboo subject which many parents feel should be taught at school and schools feel should be taught at home.

There is little access to contraception if you're a teenager unless you have some kind of guidance from an adult as to where to access it. When a child comes for advice then they should be treated in a caring and sensitive way, not told that they can't have sex because they aren't 16 and their parents called.

Even if this was a CP issue and your colleague felt that it should be treated as such then she should have called SS herself and not taken it upon herself to call the parents.

If I was sitting on the disciplinary panel then she's get more than a warning because I would be furious if it happened at my school.

And BTW you are back on the moral and not CP reasons again.

The 'friend' in question is an interfering judgmental unprofessional woman, she was completely in the wrong....poor girl

mrspnut teenage pregnancy is on the increase because sex is a taboo subject I think not. Sex is everywhere, the media, movies, advertising and is 'taught' in all schools as far as I know. If that is your argument then how come there were fewer teenage pregnancies 60 years ago when sex really was a taboo subject. There is loads of access to contraception for teenagers also.

Babies, she did not 'interfere' she was asked to become involved, she is not 'judgemental' she has not judged the girl morally at all. 'Unprofessional'-possibly because she acted against the guidelines of her profession for which she is being punished, however she is glad she did what she did and so are the girl's parents.

These policies are drafted by experienced people.

Its sad that the school does not take the rights of its children seriously. Surely the teacher needs a bit more than a slap on the wrists.

Sex is everywhere - a stylised version of sex maybe but not the real nitty gritty of it.
There were fewer teenage pregnancies 60 years ago because of social attitudes. Getting pregnant then would have brought shame on you and your whole family and probably would have resulted in being sent away or a shotgun marriage.

Better education and more access to contraceptives would cut teenage pregnancy not your moral holier than thou attitude.

I also strongly disagree with your statement that there is loads of access to contraceptives for teenagers. As a professional I know how hard it is to get kids in touch with the services providing contraceptives and contraception advice because of misinformation, lack of trust, and general lack of knowledge.

YABU - your friend was in the wrong - whether you agree or not. She has broken that girl's trust. That girl may have turned to your friend for help in other situations but certainly won't now!!

Nicetry, I get the impression that you started this hoping everyone would agree how outrageous it was.

And since pretty much everyone thinks the teacher was totally wrong, you're trying to convince us all that she wasn't.

It. Isn't. Going. To. Happen.

FWIW, I think your colleague sounds sanctimonious, self-righteous and utterly unprofessional. I really hope my DS is never sold down the river like that.

Moorhen - your ds is hardly likely to need a pregnancy test is he?

oh nicetry I now think you're just doing it on purpose. If you can't grasp matters of principle, what kind of help are you as a union rep?

No, but he might confide something else. Which is part of the point we're making: you're presenting this purely as an issue of a 14 year old having sex, we're pointing out that it is also (in fact in this case predominantly, many of us would argue) an issue of 14 year olds having someone non-parental in their lives whom they can trust.

...and no, trust does not mean 'shop them to their parents if sees fit'.