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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

An attendance meeting at school for 5 days off since September

289 replies

Am898 · 05/12/2023 10:27

DD is 5. Since September she's had 5 authorised sick days off with today being one of them. This has been spread out for weeks and been sickness bug etc she's only had 2 days off in a row for a nasty sickness bug and the other 3 days she's not well enough to be in school.

Schools just rang me and said I need to book an attendance meeting as her attendance is too low now.. aibu to think this is a bit daft.. she's 5 years old and been off sick a few times, what does an attendance meeting entail 🤔

She's always at school on time and every time she has been sick it's been authorised as I've rang the office straight away so I'm feeling a bit confused now

OP posts:
Strictlymad · 05/12/2023 14:15

Just ask them about the teachers attendance for all the strike days last year….

HowNice23 · 05/12/2023 14:16

My kids have only had a handful of days off school from reception to end of secondary. They have also never been late in part as I am fastidious about punctuality and they have been blessed with good health. The one year my son had two days off for sickness and one afternoon off for brace appointment I got a call about his attendance. I was extremely offended!!! 😂 They are just following the rules I know...

HideTheCroissants · 05/12/2023 14:18

Strictlymad · 05/12/2023 14:15

Just ask them about the teachers attendance for all the strike days last year….

If you asked that at one of my attendance meetings then I could honestly respond that none if our staff were absent due to strike action last year (or in all the years I’ve dealt with attendance at my school).
This is what I mean by school being treated as the enemy - we really aren’t ….

evtheria · 05/12/2023 14:18

I wouldn't take it personally for now.
Like others said, it sounds like a tick box exercise, and the school probably needs to have it down that they followed procedure when your child's attendance dropped below XX%. Which would be following it up with you and probably having a form for them to fill out re the meeting and keep on file.

My child missed SO MANY days last winter, just in 3 months, and even though he didn't seem any worse off for it with schooling I was worried about his attendance rate. He's been ill 2x this last month, so looks like it's happening again. Our area is suffering from lower than average attendance (there are posters up in public places about it!) and there have been numerous newsletters about attendance... if asked to a meeting I'd just try to be open, understanding and patient, hopefully staff would do the same!

OhmygodDont · 05/12/2023 14:18

It comes in waves with children sometimes. My oldest has suddenly had a few days off this year but yr7/8/9 he never had a single sick day. Year R/1 he was constantly catching something but again 2/3/4/5/6 he was in (apart from when closed due to covid obviously)

Children get sick when they get sick some very rarely others seem to catch every bloody thing going. This whole box ticking over sickness is stupid.

Dobbybigearsdog · 05/12/2023 14:19

My daughter was in hospital after going to the park, a ‘scum of the earth’ raped her at age 13 and left her for dead. We’re still dealing with the trauma. Then I had a phone call regarding her not been in school and attendance during the event. She’s unwell she’s unwell, they’re been ridiculous

BurbageBrook · 05/12/2023 14:21

The more parents who agree to attend these nonsense meetings, the more schools will demand them. It's absolutely ludicrous. I agree with PPs that sending a polite email seems a good idea.

Tacotortoise · 05/12/2023 14:22

gotomomo · 05/12/2023 10:46

The issue is not necessarily the 5 t to, it's 5 odd days ... if your child is sick eg chicken pox and they need a week off then school understands, they are more wary where parents keep them off for odd days because they "don't feel well" partly because it's only those who have sahp that do this, other kids seem to magically not get these illnesses. If your child gets sick then don't feel bad keeping them off, you just tell the school they were ill at the meeting.

Maybe if parents didn't send their children into school sick, there'd be less sickness spread in schools and attendance would, overall, improve?

OP you're right, it's nonsense. You should have fun with it, though. Go to the meeting and quiz them about their infection control measures. What are they going to put in place to stop your daughter getting sick ? Better ventilation, enforced handwashing, stricter policies about sick children in school?

StrictlyComeSnoozing · 05/12/2023 14:25

5 days since September is an absence rate of around 8% so it will be an automatic trigger, and standard policy to request a meeting.

You just go, explain the reasons for the absence and that's it.

bahhamburgers · 05/12/2023 14:28

Oh christ, it’s insane isn’t it.

I was once a Welfare AND attendance officer in a school. I would be the one sending sick kids home and then having to call their parents in for attendance meetings (I’ve posted about it on here before).

I was called a cunt by parents on many occasions. Send their kids home and then call them in to tell them attendance was shit and ask them why.

I hated it, but SLT made me do it, because.

lilyandrosa · 05/12/2023 14:31

Mamabear48 · 05/12/2023 14:11

@lilyandrosa sounds like OP just keeps her off for the sake of it without actually encouraging her to go in is my point

But she’s 5?! she’s not a stroppy teenager who can’t be bothered to go in…OP said she had a sickness bug and the other times was too unwell to go in? You have to weigh up priorities in situations like this, and allowing the school to tick their boxes for attendance certainly isn’t one of them. The schools weren’t bothered about that during covid were they?!

You also have to think about other children and staff…just because you think your child is ‘well enough’ to attend school, doesn’t mean they couldn’t pass something nasty on.

Tacotortoise · 05/12/2023 14:35

Desecratedcoconut · 05/12/2023 13:06

And they wonder why the trust capital between parents and teachers is completely spent?

What have teachers to do with this exactly? This drive on attendance comes straight from the DoE.

TeenLifeMum · 05/12/2023 14:37

Because it’s 5 separate incidents they’ll be looking for any patterns and any way they could support. If it’s just unfortunate number of bugs then they’ll be able to rule out anything underlying. We do the same in our workplace.

shearwater2 · 05/12/2023 14:38

I would go to the meeting (I have been to many) and explain she has been off as she has been ill. No, you haven't been to the doctors as it was a sickness bug. Likely picked up at school, due to their attendance policy.

Isometimeswonder · 05/12/2023 14:54

You could also see it from the school's view. 5 days is nearly 10% of the first term. They may be checking there are no safeguarding issues at home, or any underlying issues. If she is 5, the school don't know her, or you.

caringcarer · 05/12/2023 14:56

5 days off in less than 1 term is a lot.

shearwater2 · 05/12/2023 14:56

They won't really see if there are any safeguarding issues at home by having a meeting with the parents. If they think there are safeguarding issues then they need to contact social services.

TeaWithASplashOfMilk · 05/12/2023 15:03

Last year our school sent attendance statistics around weekly for about five weeks. It would say things like year x has been affected by chickenpox / year y by covid / year z by norovirus. The following week you could see how illnesses had moved through the year groups! Illness figures have increased as we have more sickness now with covid added into the mix, yet somehow with no mitigations, attendance is meant to be higher...

Myfabby · 05/12/2023 15:04

Isometimeswonder · 05/12/2023 14:54

You could also see it from the school's view. 5 days is nearly 10% of the first term. They may be checking there are no safeguarding issues at home, or any underlying issues. If she is 5, the school don't know her, or you.

This is so true. It is prob even more than 10% currently given term is still on for few weeks. They need to discuss as if the trend were to continue;

90% attendance = 4 weeks missed per year (classified as persistent absentee-unacceptable. A pupil will find it difficult to catch up on missed learning and will be unlikely to achieve their best)

I think as they get to know you and this horrible season of bugs abates, it shouldn't be a problem. Good luck with the meeting. I wouldn't be combative.

Myfabby · 05/12/2023 15:05

Strictlymad · 05/12/2023 14:15

Just ask them about the teachers attendance for all the strike days last year….

how are those even comparable? Honestly I despair.

Myfabby · 05/12/2023 15:08

Sallyh87 · 05/12/2023 14:13

Can schools actually do anything if your kids are off too much? Genuine question, my child is starting school next September and I wonder if I took her out to say go to a family funeral or for an event (I’m not from the UK, so any family event would involve travel and some time away).

My question - is there any consequence, other than obviously you child missing school which isn’t great.

google+school name/LEA will give you the answer.

Strictlymad · 05/12/2023 15:35

HideTheCroissants · 05/12/2023 14:18

If you asked that at one of my attendance meetings then I could honestly respond that none if our staff were absent due to strike action last year (or in all the years I’ve dealt with attendance at my school).
This is what I mean by school being treated as the enemy - we really aren’t ….

Show quote history

sorry I don’t mean to taint with the same brush, just my friends DD had 13 strike days in the last academic year…,

BorrowersAreVermin · 05/12/2023 16:06

Maybe the school has had an attendance problem in the past and this is one of the ways they're trying to deal with it?

AnneValentine · 05/12/2023 16:26

Am898 · 05/12/2023 10:43

She's 5 so I'm assuming she's compulsory school age. This is why I'm confused, every absence has been authorised. The teacher even said I hope she is feeling better soon.

She's not behind, parents evening 2 weeks ago they sang her praises so I don't think these sick days have knocked her behind at all

Number of days is secondary to incidences of sickness. 4 incidents at this stage in the year is a lot.

were they all Monday or Friday? Will also impact.

nokidshere · 05/12/2023 16:31

I had lots of requests to attend meetings for my ds2 who was always flipping sick with something. I ignored them all. He wasn't in because their policy said he couldn't be in, that's nothing to do with me.

Unfortunately he never managed a full years attendance throughout his whole school life, unlike his brother who was never sick and never missed a day.

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