An attendance meeting at school for 5 days off since September

[Am898]

DD is 5. Since September she's had 5 authorised sick days off with today being one of them. This has been spread out for weeks and been sickness bug etc she's only had 2 days off in a row for a nasty sickness bug and the other 3 days she's not well enough to be in school.

Schools just rang me and said I need to book an attendance meeting as her attendance is too low now.. aibu to think this is a bit daft.. she's 5 years old and been off sick a few times, what does an attendance meeting entail 🤔

She's always at school on time and every time she has been sick it's been authorised as I've rang the office straight away so I'm feeling a bit confused now

I think the teachers are damned if they do and damned if they don’t! This school has a particular policy of checking up on kids who are absent for 5 days or more in a term. What possible harm is there in talking to the teachers? They are not going to suggest your child goes to school when they are ill. But next time some poor kiddie suffers from neglect, just watch people complain about the inactivity of the teachers. As I say, dammed if they do and damned if they don’t.

My DD’s attendance dropped below 70% and I was told to provide evidence of her sickness from now on. I just told them to go and speak to their medical office as I sent her in every day, and they ring to collect. The next time they rang I said no to picking her up due to this, see how she goes. They rang back to say she’s crying, come and get her. It’s ridiculous as she’s predicted a sweep of 9’s for GCSE’s in spring, she’s just had a bad time during puberty with health issues but works at home even when sick.

It’s not personal but is essential for schools to be doing this sort of stuff. Don’t be the one to decline, they’ll only want to be nipping any sort of poor attendance habits in the bud (not that you’ve said this in your post btw). In our school, attendance is monitored very closely and only has to fall below 95% before we look into it. It’s all thanks to Ofsted 🙃

I received a letter from the governors from my child’s school informing me that they were concerned about my daughters attendance. She was only 5 and had been poorly quite a few times. I reminded the head that the chair of governors had taken their children out of school to going skiing and I didn’t hear anymore!

Because we have to follow Local Authority regs. Why do you ask?

I wish more parents would keep their sick children off school! It’s a joke. Children can’t help being ill. If they get d&v that’s two days off.
Go in calmly and explain why she was ill. I would even write it in an email exactly what was wrong so there is evidence incase they deny anything.

Christ, tell them you're busy that day. She's 5 years old hardly missing anything, they catch everything at that age

My mother had this attitude when I was a child. We almost never had days off school. She used to tell us that sickness was just “weakness of character”. I remember once being so sick I vomited all over the floor of the classroom and the teacher was furious. I was so embarrassed and thought it was all my fault. As an adult I’m a severe people pleaser and what people might call “workaholic”/ “over acheiver”. I also have extremely poor mental (and now often physical) health. I am unable prioritise self care and it has severe consequences for my wellbeing. I will raise my kids to put their health first- personally i think there’s no better “ life lesson”.

Attendance at secondary schools is shocking since covid. I had a pupil today tell me in a lesson before lunch that they wouldn’t be taking their mock exam that afternoon - their mum was picking them up at lunch because they didn’t feel well. They were absolutely fine! They have an attendance rate of less than 70% and wrote all over the front of their first mock paper saying ‘you haven’t taught me what’s in here, it’s not fair making me take this test when you haven’t taught this stuff to me’. I have taught everything that’s in the paper - they just haven’t been in school for it! How is that MY fault??!! Some parents just let their children choose if they want to go to school or not - it happens A LOT at secondary school and is having a huge impact on academic outcomes, particularly for disadvantaged pupils.

Schools are under pressure to kerp attendace up. Monitoring closely is obviously the wsy to do it. Your meeting will obviously show up as being geuine reasons for her absences and that there are no other worrying factors. You have nothing to worry about but feel encouraged by their vigilance

Hardly missing anything? Really?

So do I. It is unfair on the kid, the teacher, the class and their respective families. How many school-acquired illnesses have led another to hospital, led a parent to long term sickness, made a teacher unable to work again, hurt a baby, led to behavioural issues (e.g. from covid infection) etc.

This doesn't have to turn into a big deal.
5 seperate days off has triggered a process for below acceptable attendance or cause for concern attendance.
They are simply checking in and ticking a box.
Explain you are more than happy to attend on x date and time or via teams on x date and time.
Explain you are doing whats best for child, other children and staff etc job done.

Absolutely ridiculous. I don’t understand why schools are being run like military academies at the moment.

Shame mine does get sick snd ironically nurseries are the opposite to schools and don't want sick children. Means I can't go to work if he's ill.
Fortunately my work is ok for me to adjust my hours but I'm sure it's a nightmare for many.

My child is 12 and last school year she was off with multiple upset tummies. Turned out the boiler in her room was emitting low levels of carbon monoxide from a faulty valve! (Got picked up on gas safety check) School was being difficult and tried demanding a sick note from the drs - btw drs will not do so for children, I just started sending her in no matter what. Surprise surprise she got sent home every time 🤷‍♀️
(spoiler: yes we got a new boiler and no she didn’t stay in her room until it was replaced)

Genuinely though I can see how monitoring attendance is useful for this, and can see how as part of a bigger picture it can be telling; but really how does it help to have a meeting with someone who has said their child is sick? They will just say my child is sick as I told you. Is it meant to scare parents? I don't get it. Its very disingenuous to suggest there's no middle ground between recognising it's a part of safeguarding and important and that it's necessary and fair to have meetings with parents in instances such as these. Why should parents care about school targets anyway?

I think there has been a bit of emphasis on attendance since punctuality recently across schools. I had one recently. (Older child, being 5/ 10 mins late cos they couldn't be bothered to walk faster or talking to other students etc) school just explained that each 5mins added up and showed me the percentages over a whole term etc
This is different than being sick but I think they have now been given instructions from council of having evidence of being seen to do something.
We also had a whole school parents meeting which included this

When my DS was about 7 he kept asking to come home and the school would oblige. It honestly drove me absolutely nuts because every time I’d collect him, he’d be absolutely fine and I was leaving work for it so in the end I told the teacher not to call me unless he was vomiting because it was ridiculous. I think he missed about ten days of school over the course of the year, in part because of this but also because he had chickenpox that year.

Anyway, when I got his end of year report they had the audacity to say he could do even better at school with regular attendance . I was furious. I honestly don’t think primary schools should make a huge deal of attendance, especially not with the youngest in school who will pick up every bug going and often be much sicker than older kids.

Sad to think that it's almost a competition for who is the best parent due to perfect attendance,making some care givers feel almost inadequate or negligent because their child has had no choice but to have time off of school for genuine reasons...i can so empathize with OP!!My son has been off school for 5 days this term too ,2 appointments concerning son's health that were completely unavoidable during school hours and three days for illness...I told his teacher that if she looks back at his attendance throughout primary school,his absences have always been through the weather changing months , especially the first term back after the long summer holiday because they are going back in to an environment shared with hundreds of primary school aged children and a melting pot of germs , after 6 weeks being away from it ...the rest of the year always settles down with high attendance....I think this is a similar story for thousands of families!!There is a huge difference between this and a child's needs being neglected because caregivers are just keeping child home for concerning reasons...this really is something that has to be looked at on an individual basis with each child ..I totally see the pressure schools are under to be tackling all families whose children have time off regardless of reasons but circumstances vary massively ,being a parent is hard enough and when children need genuine time off of school it can cause so much anxiety to genuine families who are doing their absolute best !

Having not been in school long, 5 days makes a big difference percentage wise. They have to be seen to offer support, find out any possible reasons (not all children are sick when parents say they are).

It's box ticking. Don't worry about it

but really how does it help to have a meeting with someone who has said their child is sick? They will just say my child is sick as I told you. Is it meant to scare parents?

I think two things:

1. sometimes there is grey area - sometimes it's very clear that your child is too unwell for school and sometimes they're a bit off colour/down but could go - they want to encourage you to send them in

2. they don't want you to start normalising your child being off school - one of the OP's updates said something like "she isn't behind so it's not doing any harm" which can lead to you then thinking "well, flights are cheaper if we go two days earlier and she wasn't affected by having a few days off so why not?"

Firstly the child can legally have as many days of as the parent wishes. Secondly there is no problem with missing two days of school for a cheaper flight.

They do get the illnesses but their parents would rather go to work and send them in feeling ill!

The ONS winter illness population survey (23-29 nov) shows over half currently feel unwell, 1/6 have flu-like symptoms (ECDC definition) and 1/16 are too ill to attend work or school. Just under 2% have a fever.