Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect parents not to have child’s birthday party on Xmas Eve

375 replies

I88l · 04/12/2023 11:33

One of my daughter’s school friends has a birthday party on Xmas Eve.
i think the idea of inviting school kids to a birthday party on Xmas eve is pretty odd, because Xmas Eve should be spent with family.

OP posts:
GirrlCrush · 05/12/2023 17:35

Jesus Christ OP!!!

I agree with the many, many MANY other Mners.... there's no 'should' here at all!

Turquoise123 · 05/12/2023 17:51

we regularly have a Christmas Eve party and it’s very popular. I have a Christmas birthday too

sjfev · 05/12/2023 17:56

As someone who was born on Christmas eve, I never had a party Christmas eve .. in face o never had one after the 20th. My parents just said nobody would come what close to Christmas. Funny because it goes for adulthood too. People never wanna celebrate you that close to christmas. Sucks but it's just how it is. I am sure they won't do it again next year when they get little turn out xx

BooBooDoodle · 05/12/2023 18:05

Our youngest has his birthday on the 29th December. One year in particular was eventful when less than half could attend his party. We got it though, just after Christmas, people are skint, had enough of socialising and taking every bit of time off they have to just sit and be still with family before they are thrown back into it. Just don’t go, I don’t think there is ever a good time to have a party for December birthdays given the time of year. Run up is always hectic and family oriented and the aftermath leaves us all in tatters wanting peace and quiet.

ThanksItHasPockets · 05/12/2023 18:07

GirrlCrush · 05/12/2023 17:35

Jesus Christ OP!!!

I agree with the many, many MANY other Mners.... there's no 'should' here at all!

No, his birthday party is on the 25th but OP’s kids can’t go because it’s Family Time.

Longma · 05/12/2023 18:11

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. at the request of it's author.

eastegg · 05/12/2023 18:12

Do much missing information and I see OP hasn’t been back.

What time of day is it? I can see how going into the evening could be inconvenient, but of course it’s an invitation not a summons!

Is the child’s birthday on Christmas Eve? If so, totally unreasonable to suggest they should never have a party on the day itself.

Do the family celebrate Christmas?

I disagree Christmas Eve should be spent with family. It’s a normal working day for a start, no government has seen fit to make it a bank holiday. I appreciate it’s on a Sunday this year, but that’s not the point!

eastegg · 05/12/2023 18:13

So much. Gah!

Mummamap · 05/12/2023 18:14

My daughter’s birthday is Christmas Eve and for years we didn’t celebrate as friends and family were busy. We had a summer party. The last few years she has been insistent that her birthday is celebrated properly. Friends either come or not. It is up to them. The majority do come along and parents seem pleased to get them out of the way for a few hours.

Africa2004 · 05/12/2023 18:20

there are families who cannot do the typical ‘all together’ Xmas eve as DP is working or they are single parents. They would probably enjoy a party on that day!

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 05/12/2023 18:25

Perfect! It's party season, why not have a party?

You're being very precious.

housethatbuiltme · 05/12/2023 18:26

sjfev · 05/12/2023 17:56

As someone who was born on Christmas eve, I never had a party Christmas eve .. in face o never had one after the 20th. My parents just said nobody would come what close to Christmas. Funny because it goes for adulthood too. People never wanna celebrate you that close to christmas. Sucks but it's just how it is. I am sure they won't do it again next year when they get little turn out xx

To be fair your post say you never had a party then... your parents TOLD you no one would come. That doesn't mean no one would have, seems a lot of assumptions where made and asserted as fact.

As for the adult thing, to be fair I have a mid year birthday and can't rally people to do anything. I have never had an 'adult birthday' my last party was at 18 and that was just family. I tried in my early 20s but as you said everyone busy with their own lives so my last big birthday party with a large attendance was at 12 year old. I did even get a 20th, 21st or 30th because logistically it was too hard.

You have a greater chance of getting attendance at a party around xmas (the month of parties) than just randomly throughout the year. Adults (especially those with kids etc...) just don't in general tend to go round to their friends birthday parties at any time of year.

ASouthPoleElf · 05/12/2023 18:28

I wouldn’t let my child go, our preference is to keep Christmas Eve for family. Just decline the invitation. It’s not like the whole class will be talking about it afterwards, they’ll all have forgotten about it by the time 8th January rolls around!

wooo69 · 05/12/2023 18:37

My eldest DD’s birthday is 20th December, when she was in primary school we always had her party the Saturday before Christmas (even if it was Christmas Eve. The other parents got used to it and expected it as it gave them a child free afternoon to do the things that were easier without children in tow. We invited the siblings and there was no specified end time so no felt like it was just breaking into their one day they could get things done. Many parents said it was a lifesaver for them.

neighboursmustliveon · 05/12/2023 18:54

I have a niece with a Christmas Eve birthday and her parents never did parties on her birthday except for family only. I agree, I wouldn’t be attending a birthday party for my child’s school friend.

ButterCrackers · 05/12/2023 18:59

Just reply that your daughter can’t attend the party. Perhaps the family don’t celebrate Christmas and/or follow the tradition so that’s why they have the party on the 24th? Having a family birthday party on the 24th is different to inviting friends over.

Neriah · 05/12/2023 19:01

My friend's birthday is Christmas eve. Get over it. There's no rule that says you have to stay with family on any day of the year. But if you don't want to accept the invite, don't. Why the drama and made up rules?

Kathryn1983 · 05/12/2023 19:15

Sugarfree23 · 05/12/2023 15:13

Given the Op (if they come back) is talking about this year. Its a Sunday. Children won't be in holiday clubs.

And actually lots of holiday clubs don't run over Christmas holidays as so many parents are off anyway.

Show quote history

Every working parent I knows has an available holiday club
even where I work now we have a Christmas shut down but the kids club still runs to Christmas Eve
man's the OP is clear she implies how very dare they have a Christmas Eve party any year not just this year
would I do mine on that day no just like if a child has a weekday birthday you have the party the following weekend

Rahelsmile83 · 05/12/2023 19:24

YABU. If you don't want to go just politely decline. Some of us have birthdays around Christmas. My sons is 17th as is my best friends, my niece's is Christmas Eve and mine is the 27th and we make it work. We all appreciate that people may already have family time or traditions planned but it's abit mean to say it's odd those with Christmas birthdays would have a party around the HOLIDAYS. Luckily my son and niece haven't had no one not turn up to their parties they've had and I don't think 2 hours for a party on Christmas Eve is odd. It's a fab fun way to start the holidays off IMO. X

pollymere · 05/12/2023 19:43

Why do I feel this isn't a genuine post but a fishing trip?

I've been to some lovely parties on Christmas Eve. I've also worked for Companies who have a Christmas lunch on Christmas Eve before letting you go on leave for Christmas. Christmas Eve becomes Christmas at 6pm in our house so anything before that would be fine.

The chance to have child-free time to wrap gifts, prep food or do last minute tidying sounds heaven to me.

Sillyname63 · 05/12/2023 19:44

The child had the audacity to be born on Christmas Eve or even Christmas day, how dare they 🤷, please don't punish them any more for something they had no control over , they have probably had to put up with people giving one present for both occasions . It is a birthday party for that child help them to make their day special.

OMGitsnotgood · 05/12/2023 19:51

One of my best mates has her birthday on Christmas Eve. Her birthday was a 'non-event' for all of her childhood because it was Christmas. so I really can't blame this child's parents for going ahead.
You don't say what time it is. I think anything after tea time on Christmas Eve is a bit disrespectful of other families, if it was my child I'd have the party in the morning. As a parent of a guest, I'd have been happy to have dropped my DC off for an hour or so so I could get on with stuff.
If it interferes with your Christmas Eve, then decline. But please don't deny a child a party because they were born at an inconvenient time for you.

unsync · 05/12/2023 20:01

Having a birthday around Christmas sucks. It's lovely that they are doing something for her that's just for her and not because it's Christmas. I bet she gets a lot of birthday/Christmas combined presents, which also sucks. See also having a birthday near Easter and getting chocolate instead of birthday presents.

Jeannie88 · 05/12/2023 20:10

Is the birthday on Christmas eve? My DH has and always a pain to arrange celebrations for! December is always an extra busy time so even arranging a week before is difficult. Of course my DH is an adult so when we used to go to celebrate BC (before children) was a full on get together. Can imagine as a child it's more difficult and he's said he never had a party for his birthday, which is so sad, but did taken out by his aunties and uncles for special treats, which he appreciated.

So guess I would say yes it would be a nice memory to do it even just once. X

OldPerson · 05/12/2023 20:12

They'll learn. As do all families unfortunate enough to have children on national public family holidays/events. Sounds like a young child or stupid parents. They'll learn. Just be nice. Drop around a present on bday. Or state you're away visiting family, but give a small present last day of term or after xmas. Just be nice enough, so that the hard-of-thinking don't think their child is unpopular. They obviously adore their child to think everyone else is willing to give up family time to be at that child's party. Say no. Be nice. Do your little bit. I always feel for children born at Christmas.