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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect parents not to have child’s birthday party on Xmas Eve

375 replies

I88l · 04/12/2023 11:33

One of my daughter’s school friends has a birthday party on Xmas Eve.
i think the idea of inviting school kids to a birthday party on Xmas eve is pretty odd, because Xmas Eve should be spent with family.

OP posts:
PsychoHotSauce · 05/12/2023 09:21

I feel quite sad for the kid, as not many people will turn up Sad

why they couldn't arrange it a few days earlier makes no sense. No shows are bad enough the rest of the year, but that's just setting the dc up for disappointment.

saffy2 · 05/12/2023 09:22

My daughter has an invite for the 23rd and my partner thinks it’s odd and actually said she shouldn’t go!! But I think it’s fine and so have rsvp’d yes. I don’t see anything wrong with it, it’s not the entire day!!!

Dixiechickonhols · 05/12/2023 09:23

I did a party for my dc early on a Sunday morning as that was only availability for room. I’d invited a few dead certs so if rest didn’t come it didn’t matter.
Put brunch food out for parents and everyone came. Big hit lots of parents complimenting me on idea.
Parents of young children will be up early and having something to do on a winter day is often welcomed.

housethatbuiltme · 05/12/2023 09:24

Wellhellooooodear · 05/12/2023 09:10

It's still daft though, if the majority of kids invited do celebrate Christmas it doesn't take a genius to work out there won't be many attending. Bit sad for the birthday child.

Show quote history

Why would you assume people from another culture are only friends with Christians?

A lot of immigrants and migrants to a country choose to stick with others of their own or similar cultures.

You would maybe be surprised to learn that only 38% of the UK identify as Christian and while many people celebrate just for the 'party season' nearly 15% of the UK don't celebrate xmas at all (thats approx. 10 million people).

That's plenty for a party.

Dixiechickonhols · 05/12/2023 09:25

I think more will come 24th than a few days earlier. The mad busy time is run up with concerts, nativity, school party etc.

housethatbuiltme · 05/12/2023 09:29

PsychoHotSauce · 05/12/2023 09:21

I feel quite sad for the kid, as not many people will turn up Sad

why they couldn't arrange it a few days earlier makes no sense. No shows are bad enough the rest of the year, but that's just setting the dc up for disappointment.

Why do people keep saying this?

This thread shows the majority of people are happy to attend and many even deliberately do look for parties on the 24th (birthday or not).

Many people posting personal experience are saying hosting earlier parties have worse attendance.

Loobeylooooo · 05/12/2023 09:31

Have you actually read what you've written? Perhaps you should publish a list of days that are inconvenient to you and all birthdays should be moved to accommodate you! How would you like it if someone told you that you were being unreasonable to have your child's birthday party on their birthday. Christmas or not it's this child's birthday if you've got other plans or simply don't want to go respectfully decline but don't make their parents out to be unreasonable, they do not have to fit in around you. They are just trying to make their child's day special just like the rest of us do on our DC's birthdays. The world revolves around the sun not you!

AirFryerFrequentFlyer · 05/12/2023 09:32

Yet another OP who posts something once, gets everyone annoyed, and 250 posts later still hasn't come back to say anything else.

HmmHmmHmm

shearwater2 · 05/12/2023 09:33

Depends what time - when Carols from Kings is on TV it's officially Christmas and family time for a couple of days AFAIC. I do a lot of preparation on Christmas Eve so as long as DH could take them it would be ok. But I agree it's an unusual day to have a birthday party.

sponsabillaries · 05/12/2023 09:35

ThanksItHasPockets · 05/12/2023 08:32

The family have probably been absolutely scuppered by the very late end of term this year. We don’t break up until the 22nd which is the latest I’ve known in a twenty year teaching career. Usually there’s a weekend and then a few clear days before Christmastide proper.

YABU anyway. Just decline the invitation. Or have you found that your DC would rather go to the party than have enforced ‘family time’?!

I strongly suspect that this poster has hit the nail on the head, and that OP’s problem is not so much the scheduling of the party but perhaps the fact that the child would rather go to their friend’s party than attend a compulsory #makingmemories #familytime #soblessed #myworld session.

Aworldofmyown · 05/12/2023 09:45

Sounds great! You child can expel some energy and excitement!

boomtickhouse · 05/12/2023 09:45

Suddenlychrimbo · 04/12/2023 11:56

I've voted YANBU.

I think it's naive and selfish to have a kids birthday party on Xmas Eve, it's a very busy day and many people will have gone to a relatives for Christmas at that point.

It would make sense to have it earlier or later to get the maximum numbers and all the childs friends there

Having it on Christmas Eve is not really fair on the child or guests.

Many people don't have relatives to go to.

Many children have parents at work on Xmas Eve

Many parents would like a couple of hours free childcare on Xmas Eve

Many children have birthdays on Xmas Eve

Many people have family plans on 23rd

Basically you can't please everyone so just do what works for you! Go, don't go, just give the hosts a straight answer and stick to it!

Scottymom · 05/12/2023 09:48

This reply has been deleted

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katsusando · 05/12/2023 09:49

Christmas Eve should be spent with family

I didn't get this memo. Did anyone else?

Kathryn1983 · 05/12/2023 09:55

Sugarfree23 · 05/12/2023 07:32

Christmas Eve is a Sunday this year. Holiday clubs don't run on Sundays.
Most kids will be home in front of the telly. Parents who are hosting family will be running around daft doing last minute prep.

Show quote history

crickey she's talking about every year and making a general comment about it being inappropriate for a Christmas Eve birthday ever!

it's often not on a Sunday is it!?

to be honest I am a working parent who works shift so I hardly think about the days of the week anymore anyway

some people will be in work even on a Sunday and yes you can get a weekend holiday cover

and if parents are running round doing last min prep they may be glad they have something for their kids to do like a lovely party!? And if the kids are watching tv and parents busy it's note exactly a family day is it!?

megletthesecond · 05/12/2023 09:56

I don't think I've ever spent Xmas eve with family. It would either be work, mooching around at home or taking the kids to church for the nativity. A birthday party trumps that.

tkwal · 05/12/2023 09:56

How far away (distance)is the party? Could your child go with someone else who has been invited ? What time is it being held ? Kids parties here usually last about 2 hours and are held early afternoon, especially this time of year. I doubt if its going to be something that takes up the whole day so I don't really understand the problem. I do have a grand daughter who was born on the 23rd so would hope her friends would be able to attend her party and not view it as an inconvenience

Wellhellooooodear · 05/12/2023 10:01

housethatbuiltme · 05/12/2023 09:24

Why would you assume people from another culture are only friends with Christians?

A lot of immigrants and migrants to a country choose to stick with others of their own or similar cultures.

You would maybe be surprised to learn that only 38% of the UK identify as Christian and while many people celebrate just for the 'party season' nearly 15% of the UK don't celebrate xmas at all (thats approx. 10 million people).

That's plenty for a party.

Edited
Show quote history

I didn't assume that. I was just saying IF their friends are Christians (or just people who celebrate Christmas for non religious reasons), then it's a bit silly to limit yourself.

LinaLouLa · 05/12/2023 10:04

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mondaytosunday · 05/12/2023 10:06

Wouldn't make any difference to me - by then I'd probably want a kid out of my hair for a couple hours so would drop and run! There's no rule (or even convention) that Christmas Eve is 'for families'. Presumably it's not an evening party.

betterangels · 05/12/2023 10:10

Christmas Eve should be spent with family

YABVU for this. It's not a rule. Just don't go to the party.

HectorGloop · 05/12/2023 10:21

You'd hate my mum OP.

She has been married twice, both weddings took place in Christmas week. One before and one after Christmas Day. Her birthday is that week too. We joke that she is only capable of major life events during Christmas. 😄

rainbowunicorn · 05/12/2023 10:27

Where is this rule that Christmas Eve has to be spent with family. That is a very narrow and somewhat privileged viewpoint. There will be many children whoi have never spent a Chrsitmas Eve with their family doing fun things because parents are working right up to Christmas. To say that it should be spent with family is unfair.
I would suspect that most kids if given a choice would love to go to a classmates party.
As with all invitations you can either decline or accept.

housethatbuiltme · 05/12/2023 10:29

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Its a PITA when places are closed, even our local leisure center hosts a new years sporting gala so is closed to the public. It gives less options and the weather is terrible here so outdoors is no use unlike a summer birthday.

It is doable though we have done a swimming at a different leisure center, bowling, cinema, restaurants, hired a church hall and did a disco etc... parties over the years.

Usually not booked as 'birthday packages' since places are busy so take that option off so we just booked as 'normal customers' for a large booking.

SingingSands · 05/12/2023 10:32

I had a party for my DD in our house on Christmas Eve years and years ago and all the parents were delighted with a four hour window to wrap presents/rush out for last minute shopping/sort the house out/get some headspace.

DD and her friends had a lovely afternoon and so did I as host, it was a lovely excited atmosphere - and then nearly all the parents gave me a bottle of wine as as a thank you 😁