To think the rich/poor divide is so unfair

[Mooshamoo]

I know people who were born into lovely comfortable families.

These people had enough money. They also had two supportive caring parents. No worries or stres at all..Every one of those people went on to college, and went on to have really good jobs. They have a good social life, they get to socialise with people who also came from comfortable families.

I came from a troubled family. My father abandoned us. Which left us in poverty. So we had no money. I also had no emotional support whatsoever. My mother was an emotional mess and couldn't cope on her own with anything, I basically had to be her mother from a very young age. I had a lot of emotional worries and stress. As a young woman, early twenties, I remembered seeing other young women enjoy nights out. I never got to have anything like that as I was just struggling to survive.

I didn't have support to achieve anything in my life, and I ended up in dead end jobs and I still now don't have a lot of money, I don't have good relationships. I don't have great friendships, as I find the rich affluemt comfortable people don't want to socialise with me. I remember one person saying to me "oh is that a shitty little job that you do".

And if I socialise with people from a similar troubled background to myself, these peollw have so many problems of their own, that these never turn out to be good healthy friendships for me. We just add to each others problems. For example we will sit with each other and one person will say "I lived in foster care and it was horrendous, the family were abusive" I will say "one time i lived in emergency accommodation as a young woman and it was awful". Our lives were so bad that to be around each other, we just make each other sadder and worse.

It just feels like being trapped in a cycle of poverty and suffering that's not fair and there is no way out.

It's luck of birth.

Why should I? I'm happy to send OP screenshots of my old nóminas with identifying details retracted, as she clearly doesn't believe me, but if you think I'm going to publically post which companies I've worked for, you'll be waiting a long time.

Something that might help the OP: many years ago I worked in TEFL in Ireland, so this info might be out of date, but it was pretty well-paid. Academies need qualified teachers in order to offer non-EU students visas. This means that legally you must have a CELTA, TESOL, or CELT (I wouldn't recommend the latter due to lack of international recognition); online certs won't do. Like I said, I made good money and had comfortable hours. It was a while back so I can't comment on the current climate, but could be worth looking into. Certainly more potential than yet another self-pitying Mumsnet thread...

And there you have it folks "why should I", please she my above post!

@macrowave
is willing to kick someone when they are down and criticise but when it comes to offering REAL help. Nah.

Why don't you leave OP alone and take your superiority else where.

Or she made up the salary to kick you when you were down OP, one of the two!

Plus she could DM you who said about public posting. This poster proved my point to a tee.

You are willing to give your salary to prove what a loser she is that she can't find a job with the same salary, but you won't give a contact that would REALLY help her!

Reread the last paragraph of my post, in which I have offered some concrete advice. I've also said I'll PM her my old nóminas if she really wants them.

If she wants more: the best time for TEFL recruitment in non-English-speaking countries, if you're interested in going down that route, is usually June - July for September. You can often find last-minute vacancies in early September too.

Late December/early January you'll find some jobs available, but beware - these are often openings created after teachers have dropped out, and can indicate potential workplace problems.

TEFL in English-speaking countries like Ireland doesn't follow the academic year; there are usually more temporary vacancies in the summer, but most academies need teachers all year round. At least when I was working there, many of them had four-day weeks as standard.

Life can be unfair, although that's not to say those with comfortable upbringings never have their share of problems.

Please do keep looking for a supportive friendship group. People who live in what you might describe as comfortable settings will not all look down on you or suggest your job is rubbish, so please be open minded. Find a hobby you enjoy and reach out to people through that.

OP has done all that vague stuff. Why won't you offer REAL help and advise which company paid you this elusive salary?

It's because you wanted to kick someone when they were down and accuse her of creating "a self-pitying thread," isn't it?

You made it up or are talking about something you did in 1978!

So disingenuous.

I rest my case. I called it in my other post.

@macrowave.

I'm sure OP doesn't want to see your old nominas to taunt her, she'd rather the company name that you said you wouldn't give her! It's actually laughable. She doesn't need you to prove how great you are that you managed to find someone that paid you that, she needs the contact that could potentially improve her life. But you just want to prove how inferior she is to you with your bloody "nominas."

Sickening.

Believe what you like. My parents hadn't even met in 1978.

For the third time, OP is welcome to DM me if she's doubting my nóminas or wants more specific advice about TEFL stuff.

I do think it's kind of sweet that you've made a new MN account just to defend the OP of this thread - everyone needs someone in their corner.

What weird behaviour @macrowave, do you research mumsnetters! Get a life!

Yes, I suppose I am sweet but I think you're stalking behaviour is weird and nasty.

I would like @mnhq to check for socks oht of sock drawer now actually 😂

It doesn't matter how many times you say it you're not Dming the company name, you're showing off your salary you were or weren't really paid 20 odd years ago. Which is of NO USE WHATSOEVER. Go on m tell me a fifth time you're taunting her with the number on a payslip and vague TEFL stuff without the company name!

Then you go and try and dig dirt on mumsnetters as your true motivation of trying to Lord it over someone has been revealed! Can't argue the point so resort to stalking behaviour!

Bad character alert.

Anyway I won't engage further. My point has been made and evidenced by you.

Bye eee!

Well this escalated quickly...

Don’t just assume affluent = no stress/trauma. My parents are exceptionally well off and I was lucky enough to go to uni and get an excellent job etc etc but my trauma is off the scale. Abusive childhood from an awful dad and a mum who swept everything under the carpet, alcohol abuse, falling into abusive romantic relationships etc. i know it’s harder having these issues and coming from poverty too but trust me, having money didn’t soften the blow of trauma. As my 4 therapists in the past 10 years would tell you.

Op Yanbu at all and many with privilege will never recognise it
I think though you can put different spin on it. I had a horribly neglectful and shit childhood. My parents didn’t give a fuck about me as a child or an adult and it absolutely put me behind my peers- while my friends were learning to drive and going to uni, I was trying to put a roof over my head. As a middle aged woman I have now gained a degree, skills and other qualifications but I’ll always be behind my peers due to the huge impact my childhood had on my confidence and ability to put myself forward for things.
On the flip side, having such a shit time of it has made me resilient in other ways and as an adult, be able to stand strong against the knocks I have had. Despite lacking in confidence I am resourceful and positive which makes me incredibly grateful for the small things I have in life like a safe and secure home and my health.
i think you get bitter or get better- my parents ruined 18 years of my life and I refuse to give them any more

There are ways out OP. It isn't easy. You have to set your target, focus and don't get side tracked.
I had an abusive df, who objected to the education of women, nasty, controlling, violent.
But with the help of a couple of determined school teachers, I escaped, have a degree, a career, a home, a son I adore, independence.

Life leaves its scars, I'll never trust a man or share my home with a partner, but my life is soooo much better than my mum's, and my ds' childhood is far happier and more secure than mine.
He will have a decent life. I'm happy with that.

I grew up on a council estate with divorced parents, I was sexually abused when I was a child and raped when I was a teenager. I have dabbled with drugs in my younger years and worked low paid jobs that kept a roof over my children's heads.

OP I mean this in the nicest way but chances won't come knocking, you have to make them. I went on every training course I could in work and ended up in a managerial position, I never would have dreamed that I could have done this years ago. I now own my own home and earn above the average wage for my area and live quite comfortably. People would look at my children and think they've had it easy compared to a lot of others but that's due to the fact I wouldn't give in and settle for less for them. Many of the people who you see with a privileged life haven't been born into it, they've made that life for themselves. I watched my father come from absolutely nothing to go on to earn over £100k a year. Similarly my mother took the woe is me attitude and is still in the same place feeling sorry for herself and hard done by.

This thread was always one big pity party. A lot of us have hard lives. O- inherits a large six figure sum and blows the lot. Life choices.

I think it’s more a case of fortunate birth and unfortunate birth? I grew up around money but my childhood was no picnic. Try and develop some interests, work hard at something you enjoy, keep your body healthy, self care. I live a less affluent life now than I did as a child but my lifestyle choices are considered and meaningful. Oh and read! Educate yourself, take yourself out of yourself if that makes sense. Good luck ❤️

The cheapest way to get an education so you can get a better paid job and improve your situation it to get on an apprenticeship where you are paid while you train in a skill.

I’m from very humble beginnings and I realised that education was important. I went to the worse comp ever and got bullied because I wanted to learn. I left school at 16 and eventually did an open university degree and I am now a lawyer. I also learnt very quickly to ask for things. You’d be surprised how many people are willing to help people. I get asked all the time, how did you get that and I answer “I asked”

Seriously can’t believe the op snarked at all the people who have shared their stories of overcoming adversity as being unrealistic when she inherited over £200k, blew it on shit and is now on job seekers.

Having money doesn't stop parents being useless, selfish, narcissistic etc

Money helps but it's not the be all and end all. Plenty of middle class absent parents and shitty parenting styles.

You kind of have a point. My dad left my mum who had mental health issues and little money for most of my childhood. I remember being cold and hungry while she was in bed not able to face the world. I never wanted a life like that and knew I'd have to work hard to get out if it. I'm very comfortable now but the anxiety doesn't leave me. My siblings are alcoholics and it is utterly depressing to visit them. Neither can hold a job down.

I think you attitude to your own ability’s is a huge factor. Yes things are harder if you don’t have the financial means I do agree but not impossible. You are not going to get a well paid job immediately without an education or experience so the way I see it you have two options. Get a job and pay to continue your education part time or find. Job with potential to work your way up the ranks and train on the job. My husband started off in quite a low paid job as he had no qualification but has worked his way up on the job. I’m not saying it will be easy but it’s not impossible. And your definitely not too old. I do have a degree and haven’t really utilised it due to struggling to get a job in the field I wanted to go into (highly competitive) and then having kids etc. I plan to have a complete career change when my youngest is at secondary school and I will be 43 by then!