To wonder about working grandparents?

[mantyzer]

It has always surprised me that so many people on here use grandparents for childcare. Don't they work? My parents and in-laws were still working full-time when our children were young. They could only have helped with childcare if we paid them so they could pay their own bills.

So those with grandparents providing childcare, are they early retired, never worked, or did they have you older so they are now retired?

We’ve never had any family help with childcare, but when I had my first (at 32), my mum had just retired at 60 (took early but very large private pension and she has a rich husband). MIL still working and only just retired this year but she was only 3 days a week. I guess in theory she could have provided a day here and there, but didn’t and we don’t have the sort of relationship where she would have. So yes, one retired and one was working PT (our dads both dead), but no childcare help. My grandmother did all the childcare for me when I was younger, but she’d never worked so was just sort of on tap for looking after grandchildren.

I really didn’t want childcare from the grandparents
Too com

Too complicated and could lead to falling outs etc
Preferred to pay and keep the gps for babysitting

I'm 40 and still have a grandparents and a great grandma alive.
My mum and dad are still working.

My MIL retired in 2002 at aged 60 which was state retirement age then. I'll retire when I'm 67 health providing but plan to reduce my hours to care for my GC due next year. I found my MIL doing my childcare for me a bit mixed mainly due to lack of boundaries and respect but it was nice my DS was so very loved. I think it is best to have more than one provider really partly to spread responsibility and commitment but also so that there is a plan B. My MIL got cancer when DS was 4 and although she is OK now, it turned all our lives upside down.

When we became grandparents both me and my husband dropped a day at work. He does childcare one day and I do another. Our daughter also works four days so that's three days sorted out. It used to be nursery and now it's after school club to cover the other two days.

Our grandchild arriving luckily coincided with us paying off our mortgage which made life much easier.

My parents both worked full time until state retirement, DP and I will have to do the same.

The biggest perk of having parents who had you later is they can help you with yours! My mum had me at 36. I had baby at 30 and she had just retired. Perfect! She’s still young enough to enjoy it too.

I recently had a baby and both sets of grandparents are either in their late 40s or very early 50s. DP and I are mid 20s. This means that all the grandparents work and are nowhere near retirement age.

My parents were in their 50s when I had my kids, so still working.

My own children have partners now and my retirement age is 68. I don't think I'll be able to provide childcare for them.

I work 3 days, dh is off midweek (but not Saturdays, it's crap) so he does Wednesdays. His parents are mid 60s and are retired and they do Thursdays. My mum works 3 days, so she does Fridays.

Our Parents were all pretty young when they had us but we had children in our late thirties. Those parents that were still alive (and local) were retired by the time we had the children. Fil was a firefighter, MIL didn’t work.

If I look at my parents’ generation then professionals like my DP had children in their 30s AND had substantial final salary pensions which allowed them to retire at about 60. And they are therefore long retired when my generation has their children in their 30s.

If you were in your 20s when you had your children and your parents were the same then they’d have been mid 40s when their grandchildren were born.

DS1’s class we’re astonished that he had a great grandparent (who had children by then) who was a soldier in WW2. He’s just 11 and my grandfather was born in 1907.

My mum and dad both worked 5 days but could take time off if needed like when I ended up in hospital they picked my 2 up from school.

My inlaws had their own company so had flexibility. But I still used a childminder and they helped out when needed.

I work part time and would be happy to have my grandchild on my days off when I finally get some.

I was late 20s when I had my two DC. My parents had me in there early 49s and had quite a traditional set up (baby boom gentation), DM was a SAHM although she did have a very adhoc job between 50 & 70yrs old- something she enjoyed and as a bonus got a little pocket money for. DF was the breadwinner, but in his job (at the time) he retired at 60yrs old on a very comfortable pension.

One of my life goals is to be semi retired enough to look after my hypothetical future grandchildren. If the stars align so that becomes an option I will grab it with both hands

There are a few grandparents at school doing the same school run they did for their dc, I always say if I'm walking up this same pavement in 30 years something has gone terribly wrong!

Our parents were 56-61 when dd1 was born, all still working, although my parents were both PT, but we wouldn't have asked them to do childcare. MIL offered to drop a day at work she was so horrified at the cost of nursery but we'd seen how utterly exhausted she was by Friday anyway, the last thing she needed was a day a week with a toddler! I never felt guilty asking for emergency help or babysitting though 😊

I am 58 and had my children in my thirties. I have just dropped down to a 4 day week so I can look after my 1 year old granddaughter. DH is 62 and still works full time.

My DIL works, goes to uni and is like a machine she never stops. DS works full time.

I was lucky when I had mine, I gave up work until they went to school. I think families nowadays have it tough enough and if I can help then I will. We don’t have a mortgage anymore so it wasn’t any hardship dropping a day.

My mum had my kids, now 21 & 17 - so some years ago. I returned part time and she had my eldest 2 long days, then after dc2 she had them both 3 long mornings. They went to a CM a additional day, and this also gave flexibility over holidays, illness etc.
My eldest was born when my parents were both 56.
My dad had retired at 51, he'd done 30+ years in the police.
My mum had reduced her days slightly a couple of years before and then retired at 56, she'd trained as a teacher when I went to school and done about 25 years at that point.
So both baby boomers on index linked final salary pension schemes.

I, and my kids, were very lucky in having this.

Mine are 11 and 13.
My mum has just gone part time at 67. Dh mum never looked after the kids and my dad wouldn't have anyway but he passed away before dd2 was 1.

My parents have DD every Friday. They work 4 and 3 days a week and both off on a Friday. Occasionally they can’t have her due to extra work commitments but I can work around these

My mum works full time as a nurse but as it is shift work she decided to take Tuesdays off & have my son every Tuesday!

It's now unusual for middle class families to have children young. Mid thirties is a pretty typical age for; women with successful careers to have their first child. So unless the grandparents were much younger parents, the likelihood is that many will be near retirement age when the kids are small.

I was late 50s when my first grandchild was born and went down to 4 days per week to spend time with him. I retired at 62. Some of my friends in their early 70s are just welcoming their first grandchild , while a couple of friends in their 70s have a great grandchild. There's a lot of variation so it doesn't figure that most grandparents of young children would still be working full time.

I don't really get what there is to be surprised about. Obviously, if you have your children young and your parents were also young, then the chances are fairly high that they will still be working in the years when you need childcare. However, surely most people are aware that lots of people have children in their thirties, and that grandparents who have reached state retirement age will therefore be pretty common. Then of course, there are the people who can afford to retire early. I don't really understand what there is to "wonder" about.