To sometimes find the idea of sex a bit gross?

[Moooonpig]

I do suffer with intrusive thoughts and fall into these kinds of cycles so it may just be another episode.
Sorry this is graphic and I hope it doesn't offend anybody, but the idea of putting your mouth on the areas of a man (I'm a straight woman) where human waste has come out of and vice versa.
I've been intimate with certain men when I was younger who honestly I don't think had cleaned properly down below and still expected oral, it makes me feel sick thinking about it.
Not sure how to stop thinking this really?

No oral for me - not my bag. Just say no. Any bloke who does not want to be with you because of this is not worth being with. No-one, man or woman, should do anything sexually that they do not like/want.

I don't think it's a case of them 'not being worth it'. It's just recognising that you have different sexual needs and are therefore sexually incompatible. If a man told me he didn't like giving oral sex I'd say 'nice meeting you but that's something I really enjoy therefore I don't think we're suited'. Doesn't make me a bad person.

Thinking about sex when you're not aroused and not actively feeling attraction DOES feel weird, I think - even some of the most sexual people I know say they find this. It's just one of the funny things about being human. It's all about the state of mind you're in. That said, some things are just not enjoyable or appealing in ANY state of mind for some people and that's absolutely fine too.

@PermanentTemporary Seriously? Choking? Has it all become that seedy and nasty out there that choking is mainstream? This would be considered a red flag for an abuser in my day. What sort of man wants to hurt a woman for sexual pleasure and what sort of handmaiden is going to accept that?

@Deadbeat Maybe? From my experience 4 years ago, men in their 50s ask about oral, in their 40s about anal and in their 30s about choking. However, they ask, doesn't mean they get. The choking enthusiasts will all say as if to a script 'oh my exgirlfriend always wanted to choke me and I occasionally returned the favour because she loved it so much, just thought you might'. To which they got a pretty short answer.

Oral, anal, Chopin, rimming and all the rest are just different kink/fetish things that are not as popular as media and modern society may make you think. You don’t have an obligation to do them and plenty of people don’t you can find the right man for you who likes things entirely normal

Really? Oral has as much to do with strangulation as chalk has to cheese.

Frédéric Chopin would be shook to find himself included in that list.

But oral is such an ordinary part of sex that I really couldn't classify it as kink or fetish.

@Ramalangadingdong excuse me?

Oral isn't a new thing.

It's the most important part of my sex life of my we both have vaginas.

I love sex, and with men or women it was a big part of my sex life.

It took me a while to be comfortable receiving it, but now that I am it's amazing.

I'm very orgasmic and it's the best.

I wouldn't date someone who wouldn't give it personally.

I don't think that makes me a bad person.

I also wouldn't date someone with a low sex drive, or stay in a sexless marriage.

I did that for 20 years. Never again.

Totally agree all men like oral on them.

There is nothing in this world that is liked by everybody. I've met men who don't care about oral, or don't mind it but wouldn't choose it. I've also met a lot who LOVE it, obviously. People are different

I was literally howling at that typo 😂

I wasn’t actually putting them together. I was just wondering. It is a legitimate question. Is that just a recent (and horrible phenomenon) or is it ancient?

@lisavee. That was a really bad joke that fell flat. Sorry.

Oh I get it now hahaha 🤣 literally

I get where you are coming from. I don’t miss sex at all but it seems sad for your dh not to have a sex life if he still has a desire for it.

I had a man lick my arsehole once and the sensation was wonderful but I really couldn’t return the favour. I would find it too uncomfortable.

I have to say that if I went to bed with Keanu Reeves I would probably be up for anything he suggested (apart from choking, anal and anything that involves pain).