To sometimes find the idea of sex a bit gross?

[Moooonpig]

I do suffer with intrusive thoughts and fall into these kinds of cycles so it may just be another episode.
Sorry this is graphic and I hope it doesn't offend anybody, but the idea of putting your mouth on the areas of a man (I'm a straight woman) where human waste has come out of and vice versa.
I've been intimate with certain men when I was younger who honestly I don't think had cleaned properly down below and still expected oral, it makes me feel sick thinking about it.
Not sure how to stop thinking this really?

Sex should be mutual, stuff you aren't comfortable with you shouldn't do. When I was younger i had less boundaries which whilst I don't regret I do feel sad about now, I reached a point though I promised myself I'd be open and honest about my boundaries- me and DH enjoy a healthy sex life and both have things we aren't comfortable with which works for us. There would be some deal breakers for me in honesty as I'm more than sure there would be for DH, but we keep communicating and trust eachother to keep doing this.

Personally the thought now of a one night stand or sex only relationship I find grim for me, not judging others and I've had plenty in my youth so not saying its wrong, just for me id find it gross. As part of a loving relationship I don't find it gross at all, probably as I said because I wouldn't do stuff I felt was disgusting; but I love feeling intimate with DH and giving and receiving sexual pleasure. If you do find it gross though then you find it gross.

Not rtft as rushing but Op, you never HAVE to do this however if you're you're someone and you want to exposure therapy is the key! Do it so many times and persevere when the thought pops up that just like all intrusive thoughts, when faced and exposed it will dissolve into nothingness

If you're with* that's meant to say

Completely normal - it’s a weird thing. Without hormones we wouldn’t do it.

No reason to give oral at all if you don’t want to. And if you do, only with a shower beforehand.

Yeah it’s weird. I haven’t had sex for over 6 years now (I’m 54) and I’m not sure I ever will again. The thought of even touching a penis kind of grosses me out! I do still have a sex drive but I think years of unsatisfactory sex has just put me off. Plus all the things men want now like anal. I do know no penis will ever enter my mouth again! I never liked it but felt the pressure of it being so “normal” that I didn’t feel able to refuse. I wish I had. I’m not sure I’ve ever had really good sex.

To me, during a time of passion, oral, giving and receiving, is a natural extension of a passionate kiss. I can’t imagine sex without, nor would l want to.

Tough.

Thanks for edit!

Was meant to be a WhatsApp message 😂 I’ll ask to remove! Sorry.

I was licking a man's arsehole last night. He was clean as a whistle 👌 I suppose it's gross if you think about it but it's also very, very fun and exciting so I'll take it.

Same. Have never done it and never will (and have been married for many years).

@lisavee 🤮

I think it's fair enough to make a speech, given that oral is pretty much an expected norm now (though definitely not compulsory). I certainly said 'I don't do anal or choking' quite early when doing casual sex, as a lot of men seem to think it would be fun to try these things.

Saying “I won’t do x” is pretty different to coming out with a declamation like the one above. I couldn’t listen to that with a straight face.

*This made me laugh - it's a good question.

Slightly off topic - I think that about so many things, especially when it comes to foods and eating certain things and carrying out certain processes like who decided to try baking a potato :)*

@enchantedsquirrelwood @CissOff exactly!! The one I really wanted to know was who figured out you could milk a cow......and even worse that you could drink the milk they produce?? I'm not vegan/vegi at all but just think it seems a dodgy to wonder what was happening when it was discovered

For those who consider that oral is something new and discovered by their generation, it was often depicted on friezes in Ancient Greece and Rome. Also very much practiced as a form of contraception as there was nil risk of resulting pregnancy.

😂 🤣

I really needed to laugh today!! Thank you!!

Why?

@lisavee you are such a shit stirrer.

Did they also do the strangulation thing?

I have a partner who works nights. When he's home on the fri/sat night I ask the cat "who is this man in our bed" 😂

Completely agree.

No oral for me - not my bag. Just say no. Any bloke who does not want to be with you because of this is not worth being with. No-one, man or woman, should do anything sexually that they do not like/want.

My concern is that with the spread of social media and porn, young girls feel obliged to do things that they might not want to. That is a hugely bad thing.

And yes, sex is a pretty mucky activity and sits outside of what in the rest of our lives we consider acceptable in terms of cleanliness - e.g. we would not snot all over our sheets! But the human reproductive instinct is very strong and has been made deliberately pleasurable in order to secure the survival of the species.

And as for knowing what you can and can't eat - I wonder how many people died before it was worked out which fungi would bump you off?

Not unreasonable op, I feel the same way sometimes. My husband and I just do a quick wash and brush teeth before.