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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with a friend?

28 replies

Deepf60 · 01/12/2023 17:12

I've recently booked a short sunshine break with a friend, we've known each other 60 years.
During a lunch with other friends from the group she said" I hope you are going to have a drink on holiday, you can't drink the water" She knows I don't like alcohol and don't drink it. She then threw in "well you'll have some Sangria?" (Me Er no! ) Wine? (No) etc! What is it with people's obsession with alcohol? She can have a drink, she has before when we've been away, I don't say" I hope you are not having a drink on holiday!" Each to there own! Leave me to eat and drink what I like 😘🤣

OP posts:
Marionas · 01/12/2023 17:15

This would annoy me too.

I can’t drink alcohol for medical reasons and I get really fed up of people trying to talk me into drinking, especially at this time of year. I really don’t get it.

Allfur · 01/12/2023 17:33

Who are all these people trying to talk others into drinking?

mashaflower · 01/12/2023 17:40

They just want you to loosen up, at the cost of you puking or feeling unwell

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 01/12/2023 17:41

People say this to me too, I don't drink and everyone knows it. Does annoy me but Just ignore it.

Original poster
Deepf60 · 01/12/2023 17:42

Marionas · 01/12/2023 17:15

This would annoy me too.

I can’t drink alcohol for medical reasons and I get really fed up of people trying to talk me into drinking, especially at this time of year. I really don’t get it.

I have not drank alcohol for many years, I don't get it either. I also am pescetarian,, she might as well have said" I hope you're going to have a juicy steak" 😉

OP posts:
Firapple · 01/12/2023 17:43

Well, you may have known one another for 60 years, but have you gone on holiday together before? Clearly she finds the idea of you not drinking on holiday inhibiting, and is trying to rib you into imbibing, and you're already irritated by this, before you even arrive at your destination... Are you really up for a holiday where she wants drinking company and nags and wheedles and you seethe over your 7Up?

Original poster
Deepf60 · 01/12/2023 17:45

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 01/12/2023 17:41

People say this to me too, I don't drink and everyone knows it. Does annoy me but Just ignore it.

Yes, I suppose all non drinkers get it from time to time...I just needed to get it off my chest. 😊

OP posts:
HalebiHabibti · 01/12/2023 17:47

I'd be worried that she is going to be a dick on holiday OP. Discuss it with her before you go and make it clear you don't intend to have a personality transplant!

Original poster
Deepf60 · 01/12/2023 17:49

Firapple · 01/12/2023 17:43

Well, you may have known one another for 60 years, but have you gone on holiday together before? Clearly she finds the idea of you not drinking on holiday inhibiting, and is trying to rib you into imbibing, and you're already irritated by this, before you even arrive at your destination... Are you really up for a holiday where she wants drinking company and nags and wheedles and you seethe over your 7Up?

Yes we've been away before, it's never been mentioned before I didn't have a drink then. She doesn't drink during the day. I was just taken aback by her comments, we get on very well, just seemed a strange thing to say 🤔

OP posts:
Bunshaped · 01/12/2023 17:52

Some people do see it as some kind of challenge.
Or that you're no fun if you don't have a "proper drink".
It's so tedious.
I usually say "does that bother you?" in a puzzled voice.

Original poster
Deepf60 · 01/12/2023 17:52

HalebiHabibti · 01/12/2023 17:47

I'd be worried that she is going to be a dick on holiday OP. Discuss it with her before you go and make it clear you don't intend to have a personality transplant!

She doesn't drink during the day and maximum of 3 in the evening so I really don't know why she said what she did, it's not like we would be on a bar crawl 😊

OP posts:
Original poster
Deepf60 · 01/12/2023 17:54

Bunshaped · 01/12/2023 17:52

Some people do see it as some kind of challenge.
Or that you're no fun if you don't have a "proper drink".
It's so tedious.
I usually say "does that bother you?" in a puzzled voice.

Thank you I'll remember that and use it if I have to 😊

OP posts:
Goatymum · 01/12/2023 17:54

Agree! I’m not drinking atm due to medical issues and I’m no sure if I will again. I know it’s annoying to others as it’s nice to have a drinking partner, but if you don’t drink then it’s tough. They can get a glass of sangria and you have your soft drink!

Elvis1956 · 01/12/2023 18:08

Where are you going that "you can't drink the water" even in the Africa bush I've found bottled water, cola, orange juice. Surely she knows that there are soft drinks available...and what does she think children who are going on holiday there drink? Very strange conversation.

Original poster
Deepf60 · 01/12/2023 18:17

Elvis1956 · 01/12/2023 18:08

Where are you going that "you can't drink the water" even in the Africa bush I've found bottled water, cola, orange juice. Surely she knows that there are soft drinks available...and what does she think children who are going on holiday there drink? Very strange conversation.

I know. I think she spoke before engaging her brain, Canary Islands and I know you can get soft drinks. She lived there too so it was a silly thing to say x

OP posts:
dothehokeycokey · 01/12/2023 18:25

Yep this happens to me aswell Hmm

Alcohol really cocks up medication I'm on for a lifetime condition that I've had for 10 years now.

I never drank much anyway but now I don't bother and don't miss it.

But for the love of god if I say no to an alcoholic based drink don't make any fucking derogatory comments about it or look shocked ffs.

Drives me mad

Coconutter24 · 01/12/2023 19:44

Yep I totally get the frustration. I’m late 30s and haven’t drank for 5 years and before that I would only have a glass of wine if out having a meal. Don’t get me wrong in my early 20s I would go out and drink but I hate the drunk feeling so I just don’t bother anymore. However I constantly get asked what alcoholic drink I want and every Xmas I get bought bottles and bottles of wine from people that know I don’t drink!!

Lovetotravel123 · 01/12/2023 19:48

Drinking is so normalised and it’s crazy when you think about how unhealthy it is. Most people just have their head in the sand and don’t want to accept that others don’t drink.

Squeezita · 01/12/2023 19:48

Allfur · 01/12/2023 17:33

Who are all these people trying to talk others into drinking?

They do exist sadly. I’m teetotal for religious reasons and some people can be quite intolerant. Most are fine.

greencheetah · 01/12/2023 19:53

Well some idiots have voted YABU so clearly there’s some right morons about

Is it possible she is drinking more than she used and so she’s concerned this will be highlighted on your trip?

If she says anything else just say you don’t want your holiday ruined by her trying to bully you into drinking alcohol, so if she can’t stop herself maybe you should rethink it.

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 01/12/2023 19:54

People who can't cope with others not drinking alcohol.... Idiots. Alcohol seems to have deeply ingrained in our culture, but it's changing. I would say to your friend that she really shouldn't worry that you'll go thirsty.

Birdcar · 01/12/2023 20:01

You're going to need to chill a bit or the holiday has disaster written all over it.

I doubt there was any offence intended.

Original poster
Deepf60 · 01/12/2023 20:04

Birdcar · 01/12/2023 20:01

You're going to need to chill a bit or the holiday has disaster written all over it.

I doubt there was any offence intended.

I'm chilled 😌 just needed to vent 🤣

OP posts:
Iateallllllthepies · 01/12/2023 20:04

I don’t drink for medical reasons plus my dh is (well, one year sober last week), an alcoholic so I don’t drink to support and not enable him.

Ive got a few friends who will not stop going on about it. It does my head in.

Original poster
Deepf60 · 01/12/2023 20:10

Coconutter24 · 01/12/2023 19:44

Yep I totally get the frustration. I’m late 30s and haven’t drank for 5 years and before that I would only have a glass of wine if out having a meal. Don’t get me wrong in my early 20s I would go out and drink but I hate the drunk feeling so I just don’t bother anymore. However I constantly get asked what alcoholic drink I want and every Xmas I get bought bottles and bottles of wine from people that know I don’t drink!!

I really don't understand why people that know us think we should have a drink just because they drink, what else does that apply to? I like Indie music does that mean everyone else I know should? Nowt so queer as folk!🤣🤣

OP posts:
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