Not buying my kids Christmas presents as other people spoil them !!!

[Infertilitylady]

anyways ! I have a 2 and 5 year old , every Christmas I tell my mother in law to calm down with Christmas presents , massive load of presents for the kids , I cannot stand it , she will not listen and wants to spoil them too much , very materialistic ! I don’t like it one bit , soo much clutter and nowhere to put them ! I am not ungreatful but I tried to say it in a nice way but she ignores my request . I don’t want my kids to be spoilt and they don’t need more than 2 presents each , but they get like 30+ from mother in law family . So this Christmas I am not buying even 1 present , let them buy it all then , because they don’t listen .sorry just a rant really . I’m not sorry I’m not buying my kids anything as I know they will get mountain of presents anyways ! X

It doesn't matter one way or the other at that age, when they receive so much.

Maybe they just love shopping?

Why do you think they're trying to buy love?

If they love shoppin then there are thousands of kids that they could buy for who would appreciate the presents.

@mathanxiety because I told them it’s way too much but they don’t listen , they go in a mood . If they love shopping then they can keep all the clutter at their house this year . Where am I going to put 2 massive sit on remote cars ? Bouncy castle ? And god knows what else ..

Some people on here OP are being ridiculous and down right rude. I get where you are coming from because my MIL goes absolutely bananas for gifts for my son, so much so she buys everything and anything and that leaves nothing for anyone else and also starts giving him gifts before the day as “I just can’t help myself” I do totally appreciate what you’re saying, wanting your children to be appreciative of things isn’t a bad thing! Some people are going pretty deep on you 🤣🤣🤣

Because you’re too miserable to so someone has to.

@IMustDoMoreExercise exactly ! Not my problem they love shopping 🤣 doesn’t mean I have to store all the clutter in my house when it looks like overflowing mess already full of toys . X

Yes, yes, WE FUCKING GET IT. “Money can’t buy love.” You know what lack of money can get you?
A divorce - 38% of those getting divorced cited financial problems as the reason
Lifelong issues starting in childhood - developmental delays, toxic stress, chronic illness, and nutritional deficits
Ill health in adulthood - higher risk of adverse health effects from obesity, smoking, substance use, and chronic stress, higher risk of disability and mortality
A SHORTER LIFE - Men and women in the top 1 percent live 14.6 and 10.1 years longer than men and women in the bottom 1 percent.

You know what makes your children not spoilt? It’s not lack of presents. It’s teaching them to be grateful. If you actually care about that, let MIL give them 30 presents… and take them out volunteering around Christmas time or for part of Christmas Day itself. I know some very wealthy people who aren’t spoilt at all.

Do better.

SOURCES:
https://health.gov/healthypeople/priority-areas/social-determinants-health/literature-summaries/poverty#

https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics/

@Chocpot1986 exactly thank you ! I can see it in front of me that my kids don’t appreaciate the 30+ presents they get and I get sad that mil spent so much money and my kids just don’t get it , they half open the presents and throw it in the corner to open another 20+ because it’s too overwhelming . They are small and mil should understand that. I want my kids to appreaciate everything they get , big or small .

No.

I am old. I was lucky enough to get lots of presents from friends and family as a child. Including from my parents.

I have VERY fond memories of what I was given.

And it's exciting for children.

Don't buy them lots. Maybe buy one thing that you can add to each year.

And every year have a clear out and donate before they get more.

Then why haven't you cleared some out and given some away?

I’m at the other end of this cycle, kids are now teens and over the years I’ve constantly been trying to declutter all the stuff they’ve been bought, some of it barely touched. At one point I was looking through the Early Learning Centre gift guide struggling to find something to put on their lists because they already had it ALL. In the end I worked out that if I put the most expensive thing I could find on their lists they’d get less stuff. They’re not particularly spoilt though, neither are particularly materialistic or into designer gear, it’s the way you bring them up that counts. And I love Christmas- I just don’t find it necessary to spend the entire day opening presents.

Then intercept and give them back.

Get your husband to have a word

Have a row about it.

I don't believe for one second people like that can't be stopped

In all seriousness from a grandparents view I am the same as your MIL. Maybe not in volume but I am at the time of my life where things are different. I am I suppose selfish. I have the mortgage paid off,steady jobs,time on my hands,more disposable income and I love my grandkids and wish them to have everything their hearts desire.I couldnt do this for my own kids growing up as much as I was always working hard,stressed,pressured financially,now I am in a different position. When mum and dad say no I can say yes and say yes gladly.Does it matter who it comes from as long as the kids are happy? Let me spoil the kids its been a long time coming! It doesnt mean I love them more than you or want them spoilt I just enjoy treating them ,it brings me joy.I dont have the pressures you have cos one thing I learned a long time ago was you never have time or money when you need it when you are young and starting off in life. Let MIL do her thing.Its really not hurting anyone.

I totally hear you!

But sorry OP you know if you don’t let them have the 30 plus gifts as one mad person said you are being dismissive of their feelings and wants… 😉 And that crank on the post above saying you should do better?! Hahaha honestly these people are angering me on your behalf. They are completely missing the point you are making!

Only if you let them be. Jeeze I would be grateful they want to be involved. P.S saying Christmas is overrated is offensive to Christians.

@Nanny0gg because they toys they have they actually love and play with them all and I didn’t want to throw them out yet .

I used to let them open gifts from us and Grandparents on Christmas Day and the rest on Boxing Day . I kept one gift back for New Year's Day .

How about keeping some back if they have absolutely massive amounts and giving them a gift to reward good behaviour through the year ? (unwrapped)

TBF it's not your DC's generation that is at fault here, it's your MIL doing the spoiling.

Two presents each?
Scrooge is alive and well. Bet you squeak when you walk too!!!!

Nope, if that's what your children are doing that's down to parenting.

My kids have always had 'piles' of presents. They've never thrown anything in a corner never to be seen again. No, they don't play with every single thing on Christmas Day, some bits can take a week or two to get to but everything is used, valued and appreciated. Obviously, over the years there have been a few duds, but there's also been many a present that have lasted years, then been passed along to siblings/cousins or the charity shop.

It takes bloody hours to open stuff here and not because there's so many but because they want to stop and see what they've got and need to shout thank you to Father Christmas or give me a giant squeeze of their sibling a big hug to say thank you.

@ginandtonicwithlimes and I am very greatful they are involved but I’d be even more greatful if they respect my wishes . They don’t need to buy tons of present to be involved in the kids life , I’d love them the same poor or rich :)

Well we are four years down the line and she hasn’t stopped 😂😂 haha she reigns it in a little bit when spoken to but then the floodgates open again when nobody has their eye on her. However I adore her and know it is coming from a good place and the face she is a huge giver. But my problem was my son going to her house and expecting a “surprise” each time he went and becoming quite rude.

Ok? What do you want people to say?
If you think your kids are materialistic, parent better. 🤷🏻‍♀️
The spaces before each bit of punctuation is jarring.

@DidiAskYouThough no they are becoming materialistic just lately not because of me but because of other people ! I don’t spoil them at all .