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Original poster

Not buying my kids Christmas presents as other people spoil them !!!

147 replies

Infertilitylady · 01/12/2023 16:41

anyways ! I have a 2 and 5 year old , every Christmas I tell my mother in law to calm down with Christmas presents , massive load of presents for the kids , I cannot stand it , she will not listen and wants to spoil them too much , very materialistic ! I don’t like it one bit , soo much clutter and nowhere to put them ! I am not ungreatful but I tried to say it in a nice way but she ignores my request . I don’t want my kids to be spoilt and they don’t need more than 2 presents each , but they get like 30+ from mother in law family . So this Christmas I am not buying even 1 present , let them buy it all then , because they don’t listen .sorry just a rant really . I’m not sorry I’m not buying my kids anything as I know they will get mountain of presents anyways ! X

OP posts:
ginandtonicwithlimes · 01/12/2023 17:24

If your username is correct I would have thought that you would be appreciating Christmas with your children rather than call it over rated because many other couples don't have children. Just tell the MIL to keep it at her house. Job done or spread the presents out over the year.

Original poster
Infertilitylady · 01/12/2023 17:26

@IMustDoMoreExercise
yes i can afford to put the money away for kids for future that’s not a problem and that’s what I do :) but I can also afford to buy all the Christmas presents too if they didn’t get so spoilt already , but hey ho , I don’t have a choice but to accept all the 3 bin bags full of stuff that they hardly play with . It’s just sad that they think that the pile of presents shows how much they love them but it doesn’t ! Money can’t buy love .

OP posts:
Oneearringlost · 01/12/2023 17:26

There's a column in today's I newspaper by Marianne Power about not giving presents, whilst she was 16 and not a toddler when her parents stopped all present giving, it does have some resonance. Wll try to link but I'm on my phone.

MammaTo · 01/12/2023 17:26

I think this is something you just have to suck up as a parent? My baby’s birthday is 6 days before Christmas Day so I’ve just resigned myself to the fact my house will be a plastic bomb site come January.
I used to be made up when my nan would turn up to our house on Christmas Day with a massive sack of presents, it’s what nans do.

avocadotofu · 01/12/2023 17:26

Serious OP?

SleepingStandingUp · 01/12/2023 17:26

Infertilitylady · 01/12/2023 17:16

@Torganer it doesn’t make me happier that mil buys all the presents , I would like to buy for my kids a few and maybe 2 from mil . She ruins it for me really and I don’t feel like buying more when she already buys mountain full of clutter . It just really annoys me that because they are the grandmas , they can do what they want and ignore what I say about my children and what I’d like them to have .

Assume you're a single parent op as it's all about what you think and you want and what you don't have to buy now.

ginandtonicwithlimes · 01/12/2023 17:26

ThePineapplePrincess · 01/12/2023 17:03

Nope. You’re just miserable and your kids will suffer for it.

Show quote history

Bit odd really with long awaited children.

Oneearringlost · 01/12/2023 17:27

inews.co.uk
inews.co.uk › Lifestyle
I don't buy Christmas presents, not even for children, and I've saved ...

WaitingfortheTardis · 01/12/2023 17:27

I don't think that one day of lots of presents leads to spoilt children, I think that is more a result of children consistently getting their own way and everything they want throughout the year.

Minglingpringle · 01/12/2023 17:28

No problem. We are killing the planet with over consumption. Your Christmas doesn’t have to be the same as the standard commercialised one we are fed via the media and advertisers. Christmas has taken many forms over the past two millennia, mainly a lot more simple with FAR fewer presents. Do Christmas your way. Show them love, spend time together, establish traditions, cook special foods, whatever. They’re still young, they’ll accept it as the way of things. When they’re older they’ll complain and think you’re an idiot but they’ll do that anyway. Maybe you could unbend a bit at that point, but at least you’ll be starting from a lower base.

And it sounds like they already get loads of presents anyway so aren’t actually missing out.

Original poster
Infertilitylady · 01/12/2023 17:28

@ginandtonicwithlimes I absolutely love Christmas with my kids my god ! :) it’s just the over spending and people thinking that they have to spoil kids rotten , spend 1000 of pounds or couple of hundreds to show how much they love them , is what I don’t like .spending time with family at Christmas is what Christmas is all about for me .

OP posts:
Caszekey · 01/12/2023 17:28

Infertilitylady · 01/12/2023 17:20

@Desecratedcoconut 80’s and 90’ and early 2000’ kids were built different :) good manner and never spoilt . Even if they had lots of presents , they never really got anything else in the year . But this generation get new toy almost every time they go shopping 😭🤣

If your kid is spoilt, that's on you.

underneaththeash · 01/12/2023 17:31

To them; maybe you're not important.
Really you should get a grip
Often, it seems worse than it really is, maybe you're
Lonely
Lol

SleepingStandingUp · 01/12/2023 17:32

Infertilitylady · 01/12/2023 17:28

@ginandtonicwithlimes I absolutely love Christmas with my kids my god ! :) it’s just the over spending and people thinking that they have to spoil kids rotten , spend 1000 of pounds or couple of hundreds to show how much they love them , is what I don’t like .spending time with family at Christmas is what Christmas is all about for me .

But you've already said you spend the day with her so she's buying those AND spending the day with you. You just sound ungrateful. Ok it's a pita having more than you need. Duplicates get donated to charity. Anything to old for them gets put away. Books and plushies just get added to the endless pile. Suggest leaving some stuff at Nana's for when you visit, assuming you do visit. Otherwise take them home and see what the kids want to play with. Stash some away for a few months. Donate them. Rotate them. Regift them and put money in the kids money box. Sell them on Vinted and give the kids the cash. It's not hard to just to grateful she's involved and loves them.

mathanxiety · 01/12/2023 17:32

When oi were a lad, we played with sticks and mud.

Original poster
Infertilitylady · 01/12/2023 17:32

@ginandtonicwithlimes yes they are long waited children but that doesn’t mean that I want to spoilt them rotten . I want them to grow up respectful and not spoilt and demanding , only because they are long waited kids doesn’t mean I should be spoiling them rotten … I just don’t like materialistic generation .

OP posts:
ginandtonicwithlimes · 01/12/2023 17:33

One day of lots of presents from grandparents isn't going to spoil them. That usually comes from parents who can't say "no". I think you are over reacting a bit. Are they the only grandchildren?

Needhelp101 · 01/12/2023 17:34

I could swear I read exactly this same thread last year.

Minglingpringle · 01/12/2023 17:34

I also agree that giving children too much too soon is actually disadvantaging them.

A lot of the joy in life comes from looking forward to and striving for things (which you don’t realise till you’re older). If you’ve already acquired everything you want you have to cast around looking for more and more obscure highs.

Original poster
Infertilitylady · 01/12/2023 17:34

@mathanxiety hahah that made me laugh 🤣 :) same ! When I was 10 I got a Barbie doll and play dough ! And I was the happiest child going 😀

OP posts:
Original poster
Infertilitylady · 01/12/2023 17:35

@ginandtonicwithlimes yes they are the only grandchildren …

OP posts:
Zebedee55 · 01/12/2023 17:36

I wouldn’t have not bought my kids presents, but you do you. 🙄

Lilithlogic · 01/12/2023 17:37

I hope you are having a laugh, because all your ranting and raving on here is showing you to be rather bratty and spoilt.

mathanxiety · 01/12/2023 17:38

Infertilitylady · 01/12/2023 17:13

I want my kids to grow up and understand that they don’t get everything they want and that money doesn’t grow on trees . I don’t want a 10 year to be asking me for an I phone £1000 , years later . I want them to appreaciate the little presents they get but if mil and relatives keep buying hundreds of presents , they will get spoilt and expect it every year !

Your kids are going to ask you for that iPhone regardless.

Disregarding or dismissing or looking down your nose at their wants only results in making them feel they and their dreams are not important to you.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 01/12/2023 17:39

Infertilitylady · 01/12/2023 17:26

@IMustDoMoreExercise
yes i can afford to put the money away for kids for future that’s not a problem and that’s what I do :) but I can also afford to buy all the Christmas presents too if they didn’t get so spoilt already , but hey ho , I don’t have a choice but to accept all the 3 bin bags full of stuff that they hardly play with . It’s just sad that they think that the pile of presents shows how much they love them but it doesn’t ! Money can’t buy love .

Yes, very sad. There are so many kids out there who would appreciate the presents.

It is like all the idiot grandparents who think that plying kids with sweets is showing that they love them.

This generation of grandparents are the last generation that will have final salary pensions (unless they are public sector) so it will stop.

But I feel for you as your kids will end up not appreciating anything.

My parents couldn't really afford presents so we hardly got anthing and I used to dream about getting a nice dress. That is all I wanted.