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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anyone else feel bad they’ve not done elf on the shelf?

140 replies

Blackdore · 01/12/2023 12:44

My son is 5 and we’ve never done it. I was considering it this year, but I decided not to…DP thinks it’s ridiculous.

I’m now seeing posts on Facebook, instagram and TikTok showing the elf doing silly things and not just the elf, but also a 1st December box, a North Pole breakfast etc etc.

My son got an advent calendar and that is it!

OP posts:
clarepetal · 01/12/2023 16:23

Nope. Elf can fuck off.

WimbyAce · 01/12/2023 16:31

Never heard of North Pole breakfast. I think just do what suits you. We do Elf on the Shelf but it's q tame, eg they brought the advent calendars this morning, they may bring some Christmas crafts but it's nothing fancy. We don't do Christmas Eve box or 1st Dec box or whatever. I don't really do social media so have no idea what other people are doing.

leilani83 · 01/12/2023 16:33

What is in North Pole breakfast anyway? Reindeer (which is tasty)? Seal?

Firapple · 01/12/2023 16:35

No. I judge people who do it. They strike me as both twee and mildly tragic. Ditto the North Pole breakfasts, 1st of December boxes etc. They remind me of Matthew Broderick's uptight Christmas-obsessed character in a bad Christmas film called Deck the Halls.

CatamaranViper · 01/12/2023 16:36

Nah DS is 7 and while I think he probably would have liked it, I didn't like the extra added pressure over what is already a very busy time of year.

The biggest issue is trying to explain why DS doesn't have one. We said that we didn't need an elf to keep an eye on him over December because mummy and daddy know Santa anyways. I'm worried that the lack of elf will make him question if Santa is real, but if we've got to 7 and him still believing, I think we did quite well.

CharlottePimpernel · 01/12/2023 16:39

No. I don't do it, I don't do Xmas eve boxes or anything like that. We do the tree, baking, we go to see the animatronic reindeer in town, the lights, and we do our decorations. That's enough.

TakingTheHorseToFrance · 01/12/2023 16:43

My biggest regret is starting the stupid elf. It's a pain the hole thinking up things to do with it. And the dread in the middle of the night when we've forgotten. So YANBU

Naptrappedmummy · 01/12/2023 16:43

Firapple · 01/12/2023 16:35

No. I judge people who do it. They strike me as both twee and mildly tragic. Ditto the North Pole breakfasts, 1st of December boxes etc. They remind me of Matthew Broderick's uptight Christmas-obsessed character in a bad Christmas film called Deck the Halls.

Love that film!

Girasoli · 01/12/2023 16:45

Nope...DS1 (7.5) hadn't heard of it last year, and this year he's seen a video on YouTube and said it looked creepy.

DS2 (3) is excited enough without adding an elf.

We have an advent calender and an advent candle though.

CreeperBoom · 01/12/2023 16:45

I am doing it for first time this year. I never saw the point, but this is the first year DC1 (9) openly doesn't believe in Santa. DC2 (6) has been asking why we never have an elf, so DC1 and I are doing it together, and having fun thinking of things it can do, to make DC2 laugh. That's what christmas is all about, to me.

cantbecaught · 01/12/2023 16:47

No. I only do the nice bits of Christmas. There are plenty of them. I feel exasperated even hearing about elves.

Naptrappedmummy · 01/12/2023 16:50

Honestly though how many things are we expected to do to make things nice for other people while also staying on top of our day to day shit? Are a couple of christmassy events, a nativity play, advent calendar, Christmas meal, presents and tree/house decorating not enough??

MuchTooTired · 01/12/2023 17:00

I don’t do an elf. I’m pretty sure I have adhd and can barely remember important things so remembering to stage a stupid bloody elf would never get done and the kids would be more disappointed at the elf being useless than not having one full stop. Yes, they have a father but I know full well it would somehow end up being my job to move it and I just can’t take on anymore!

avocadotofu · 01/12/2023 17:00

I definitely don't. It's just not my cup of tea.

mathanxiety · 01/12/2023 17:06

Your DP is right.

mathanxiety · 01/12/2023 17:07

PollyPeep · 01/12/2023 13:08

Were your christmasses magical as a child. I can bet they were and I can bet your parents didn't do elf on a shelf lol. Delete social media. I don't have social media and most of these kinds of posts go straight over my head because I have no idea what I'm "supposed" to be doing. We do advent calendars, decorate, we bake cookies and that's about it. No "Santa's grottos", no elves, no Christmas eve boxes (what are those even supposed to be? Christmas eve is exciting enough!). Our kids are so excited about Christmas because we're doing things together and the decorations are pretty. AND they get presents at the end of it! They don't care about some made up commercial thing, and yours don't either.

This

Wonderblue · 01/12/2023 17:08

Firapple · 01/12/2023 16:35

No. I judge people who do it. They strike me as both twee and mildly tragic. Ditto the North Pole breakfasts, 1st of December boxes etc. They remind me of Matthew Broderick's uptight Christmas-obsessed character in a bad Christmas film called Deck the Halls.

Deck the Halls is the best Christmas film.

mathanxiety · 01/12/2023 17:09

SutWytTi · 01/12/2023 13:54

The difference is about 12 years.

There is real empowerment in teaching our kids the freedom to not mind about being different. A lot of parents instil the fear of difference in their children, children start their lives quite independent. Developmentally of course they increasingly care more about their peers as they grow through school, but supporting independent thought over herd thinking is no bad thing.

Agree 100%

doomday · 01/12/2023 17:16

It's commercial rubbish.
The real magic is in the invisible elfs who have always come and watch for bad behaviour. You do not see them and they are not plastic!
A plastic doll that children see on shelves in shops lacks the magic. Would never have worked on my children so I didn't go there.
We do advent calenders and father Christmas.
I don't understand what December box's and Christmas eve boxes are about sorry..
Seems just another way to spend even more money.

I had really magical Christmas as a child but none of this. I certainly belived in the magical elves and fairies I was told about by my grandparents. But also understood you don't see them, not should you be seeing the real father Christmas. I have passed that on.

cardibach · 01/12/2023 17:17

I’m glad DD is too old for this to have been a thing when she was little.
I have no idea what a hot chocolate station or North Pole breakfast might be. Can anyone explain?
definitely don’t do any of it (unless you really want to) but if you could enlighten me I’d be grateful.

eurochick · 01/12/2023 17:20

Nope. Not one bit.

Jewelspun · 01/12/2023 17:23

It's a load of old crap which has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 01/12/2023 17:23

Nope. Not ever.

mondaytosunday · 01/12/2023 17:27

Goodness no! Only one person I know has done this silly thing and I'm sure she regretted it after a couple years.

VikingLady · 01/12/2023 17:28

I told the kids that the cats would hunt and eat an elf, so he doesn't visit us.

They found this hilarious. No problem.

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