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AIBU?

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Original poster

Anyone else feel bad they’ve not done elf on the shelf?

140 replies

Blackdore · 01/12/2023 12:44

My son is 5 and we’ve never done it. I was considering it this year, but I decided not to…DP thinks it’s ridiculous.

I’m now seeing posts on Facebook, instagram and TikTok showing the elf doing silly things and not just the elf, but also a 1st December box, a North Pole breakfast etc etc.

My son got an advent calendar and that is it!

OP posts:
Leafysuburb · 01/12/2023 13:45

Nope, I told the kids that Alexa was watching them and sending all their data to be mined by evil elves for marketing purposes. At least I'm honest.

leilani83 · 01/12/2023 13:45

LOL no!!!

Never done it, no Xmas Eve boxes either, hot chocolate stations or whatever else. My kids have never even believed in Father Christmas!

We still have a lovely Christmas. 😁

helloooitsmeee · 01/12/2023 13:48

SutWytTi · 01/12/2023 13:08

This is a bad habit to get into, because when your DD is 15 and being pressured by friends to do something unwise, you want her be storng enough to stand by her own choices.

So do the elf or don't do it, but don't do anything just because 'everyone else does'.

Show quote history

I mean there's a bit of a difference between a fun, Christmas tradition and being pressured into doing something "unwise" but I get your point.

JamSandle · 01/12/2023 13:50

I've always thought it's one of those things people do for social media. I don't think children particularly care about it.

PatchworkElmer · 01/12/2023 13:51

I was very anti-Elf until DC came home from school in Reception very sad, and eventually asked why their friends had been ‘chosen’ for elves and they hadn’t. The elf arrived the next day, with an apology for being late.

If DC hadn’t been upset I never would’ve bothered (it’s more work!) BUT we have so much fun with it. I don’t use it to ‘spy’ on DC it as a threat that Santa’s watching- it just moves around and does silly things.

HettyMeg · 01/12/2023 13:53

To each their own but in my opinion it's to generate social media likes.

DrCoconut · 01/12/2023 13:53

Not guilty here. It's creepy and not an old tradition at all.

SutWytTi · 01/12/2023 13:54

helloooitsmeee · 01/12/2023 13:48

I mean there's a bit of a difference between a fun, Christmas tradition and being pressured into doing something "unwise" but I get your point.

Show quote history

The difference is about 12 years.

There is real empowerment in teaching our kids the freedom to not mind about being different. A lot of parents instil the fear of difference in their children, children start their lives quite independent. Developmentally of course they increasingly care more about their peers as they grow through school, but supporting independent thought over herd thinking is no bad thing.

gggrrrargh · 01/12/2023 13:56

I hate it, it ruins December for me. Someone bought my child one - thanks so much.

what is depressing is how very happy she was and how excited and like a previous PP, I think there was some bewilderment as to why others at school had one and she didn’t.

Now I’m stuck with it and 11pm each night staring at it thinking what next.

AmyandPhilipfan · 01/12/2023 13:58

Last year in the run up to advent my then 5 year old started wondering aloud if she was going to have an elf come to her house because X Y and Z all had elves that come to them. I hate the look of the elf and don't understand the concept - elves are good, why would they do naughty things? So I bought a little Christmassy looking teddy and sat it on a shelf on Dec 1st. And moved it to a different shelf the next night and the next night and so on. It does nothing expect move position (sometimes only very slightly and takes me no more than a few seconds on my way to bed). My daughter loves it and was thrilled at its reappearance this morning. That is as far as I will go.

Mariposista · 01/12/2023 14:00

Not at all because it is ridiculous.

We have an advent calendar - why do we need all these silly gimmicky extras.

Plumful · 01/12/2023 14:00

Nope, don’t believe in 1 December boxes or Christmas Eve boxes either.

Men don’t tie themselves in knots over this shit do they!

SomethingFun · 01/12/2023 14:02

I don’t do it but I understand feeling guilty when it’s on socials, the kids come home talking about it and poster after poster on here goes on about what larks they have with it. But it’s bollocks, as are North Pole breakfasts and Xmas eve boxes and I don’t do them because they are bollocks.

Underthemagnificentbeechtree · 01/12/2023 14:04

I’m pretty busy, so whilst I I’m sure I could do this if I wanted to, I might actually be a grumpier, tireder Mum for having added an extra thing to my daily load for December.

afren · 01/12/2023 14:04

I don't know anyone who does it. It's ridiculed as it's one of the newer commercial things adopted by the 'x hun' crowd, along with things like Christmas Eve boxes and putting their decorations up in November because they can't wait.

TopicalNameChange · 01/12/2023 14:08

Don't feel guilty! But we had a similar thing last year, where DS (7) was a bit sad that he didn't have an elf. So then his elf showed up (from a charity shop) in mid Dec, with no note or apologies or anything and DS was thrilled. The elf just moved around the house a bit. Once I think he got his head stuck in a cereal box. That was it. This year he showed up hanging from a plant pot, and DS again is thrilled and spoke about it all the way to school.

I get where you're coming from, but equally you can change your mind and have a low key elf who arrives late, just hangs around, doesn't spy, doesn't do tricks, and that will probably make your lo happy without any stress on your part! It doesn't have to be a 'thing' but it is increasingly hard for kids to avoid

leilani83 · 01/12/2023 14:08

afren · 01/12/2023 14:04

I don't know anyone who does it. It's ridiculed as it's one of the newer commercial things adopted by the 'x hun' crowd, along with things like Christmas Eve boxes and putting their decorations up in November because they can't wait.

Edited

This reminds me of the gem 'being held at hun point' 😂😂😂

teenysaladandsniffofarose · 01/12/2023 14:08

Not at all, I find it super cringe😂

My son will still have a magical Christmas without any creepy elves involved.

AnnieRegent · 01/12/2023 14:10

Agreed. Maybe there’s an essay in here somewhere … “How elf on the shelf intersects with the UK class system” lol

Chipsahoyagain · 01/12/2023 14:10

Yanbu and very silly to feel bad. Why? It's something stupid and new that was created very recently. Do you jump on every bandwagon? I didn't even realise today was 1 dec and guess what I didn't even get an advent calendar! I'll get one maybe tomorrow and it will be fine. People get themselves worked up over Christmas and you only have yourself to blame. Stop blaming SM and the like. You have your own brain and you don't need to follow everyone and everything.

TopicalNameChange · 01/12/2023 14:11

Oh - and that's all we do! No decs up yet, no hot chocolate station, no Pinterest crafts, no boxes or special bedding or anything. But a stupid elf from the charity shop had made my kid very happy, and he likes being able to say he has one.

REP22 · 01/12/2023 14:12

Never done it personally and no regrets about that. Pre-Covid, the elf appeared one year at work. Various departments were involved. But the elf's reign was short-lived. There was an unfortunate and disturbing posing involving elf + nativity donkey. Apparently it was done by someone from the Legal dept. but names were never revealed and the elf and his equine paramour did not appear again to rekindle their affection.

AnnieRegent · 01/12/2023 14:12

AnnieRegent · 01/12/2023 14:10

Agreed. Maybe there’s an essay in here somewhere … “How elf on the shelf intersects with the UK class system” lol

Whoops this was a reply to @afren

Twentypastfour · 01/12/2023 14:16

Because she was sad that her friends had one and she was missing out? Or because you assumed everyone else was doing it?

My DC are both in primary school. I suspect there are a few in oldest DC’s year that know the “truth” by now so we’re last few years of believing there. Both went to pre-school also. Neither have EVER expressed any kind of knowledge of Elf on the Shelf. We’ve been to drop off in December before (last year) where I even overheard a conversation from a year 2 class anout who’d had a chocolate in the advent calendar that day etc etc, general excitement, and not a single one of the children mentioned having an Elf.

I know we think everyone does it, but they really don’t.

Soundsmadeup · 01/12/2023 14:17

Nope, never had one. Don't feel guilty. My kids know we don't have one because I didn't buy one & they also know it's something the parents move around. Nothing to do with magic or chosen.

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