to dig a pit and disguise it with twigs and branches and wait for people to walk along and fall into the pit, and then leap out and throw things at them?

[Boco]

And to think that the people who fall into my pit are too silly and they deserve to fall into my pit and have rotten vegetables thrown at them?

that blue poster's lovely Lapin - there are also some more colours available here

Message withdrawn

does that please you fishy-missy

scottishmummy it says 'you do not haver permission to access teacake on this server'. You will have to make do with old fruit. At least i'm peeling it for you.

I love Etsy, is one of my favourites.

Oh those ARE nice, KeepCalm. I am very tempted to get one, and also the "Give it your best!" one for our next quarter's kitchen

i have a keep calm poster in my kitchen

i stand in front of it with a glass of wine occasionally

I too have it in my kitchen.

From Barter Books

Bargain!

Im sorry - but I know people that have fallen into pits and have seriously hurt themselves. I dont think the OP is considering the wildlife. And where did the twigs and branches come from - oh! more trees to be cut down on a whim!

And what about small children or innocent dog walkers?

People like you should be shot.

If squonk fell in, the pit would soon be full of slightly salty water anyway, so everyone else could float to the top....

Spam, walk over there for me will you - just over there, walk right over that arrangement of twigs and leaves will you?

Why is squonks water salty?

where I am in this whole arrangement? It is important I establish my exact position as regards the pit, before I give you my opinion on your unreasonableness or otherwise

Franny, you can help me prepare the cunting mangoes for ammo if you like?

Although...you would have your uses in the pit, you could do good withering of the people I'd like withered.

how would I do that? I'm not some old crone with withering powers, you know

nope

No it's ok lapin, it's just a type of unripe and yet somehow rotten mango, it's not swearing or anything.

LL, cunting with regard to mangoes doesn't mean cunting, exactly
well, erm, not really

yes see?
you can freely use it in public

as long as you are talking about mangoes
don't try it otherwise

When a squonk is captured, its method of defence is to dissolve (literally) into a pool of tears.

There are not many squonks around any more...

Oh good Rusty, thank you. I was a bit worried about sperm.

good plan ill send MIL that way

LOL! Boco if i help you dig the pit can i add the british gas operative that I spoke to for 2 HOURS today?

(Spam goes on a twig hunt....)

Only the operative Spam, get digging, I want the whole company to go down!