Shaken after being sworn at by horrid man

[cadburyegg]

Posting for traffic

Was cycling home from after school club tonight with kids. We all have lights on our bikes and hi vis jackets. Nearly home when I get beeped at by a car. The driver stops and shouts at me that I'm an idiot for driving down the road without lights on the bikes. I said oh, we do have lights but he was adamant that we didn't and he couldn't see us. Became really aggressive and called me a "fucking twat" in front of the dc and that I "shouldn't have" dc.

I feel really upset that he couldn't see us and like an idiot because I thought the lights and hi vis made us visible, they were definitely on and working obviously not and I will get more lights, and make sure this doesn't happen again, but I can see the dc very clearly in the road. he also had a go at us for cycling in the road rather than the pavement. But am also upset that he was so horrible. We are told not to drive to school but I don't want to cycle anymore either. Feel so upset that my dc had to witness it and so guilty 😥

Sorry - not clear from your post - do you mean your lights had failed without you realising?

Obviously there's no excuse for swearing and aggression, and sorry that happened to you and your DC.

He sounds really, really rude and unpleasant. No excuse for it, but frightened people can lose their temper pretty easily. I suspect your lights really aren't adequate.

No the lights were on and all working

Children shouldn’t be cycling on the road after dark no matter what.
He was really horrid, but perhaps he almost hit you or your DC and that frightened him into anger?

There's only one fucking twat here OP, and it's the aggressive person in a car shouting obscenities in front of children.

Some bike lights are very small/weak and not easy to see in traffic - this does not excuse his awful behaviour in any way but from a safety perspective may be worth thinking about.

I have trouble sometimes seeing bike lights. The flashing ones are better. But he shouldn't have sworn at you. Just pointing it out politely should have been the way to go. But unfortunately there's a lot of angry horrible twats out there. Bet he wouldnt have spoken like that if it had been your husband and not you.... ..

So why did you say they obviously are not working and you will get some more?

He is out of order but if he genuinely couldn't see you he maybe got a fright.

Don't feel so bad, he's a twat for shouting at you

Ignore him, if you have hi vest jacket and lights, he is clearly blind. As a cyclist you will always get some abuse (not that you deserve it) he was in the wrong. Next time take his numberplate and report him. I can understand why so many cyclists have cameras.

Have you got clear red reflector lights at the back as well as lights at the front?

It's not clear from your message, but I assume the driver was behind you. Make sure you are very clearly visible from behind. I had a near miss with a cyclist who was pretty invisible from behind. What I said under my breath in the split second after a spotted them is unrepeatable.

So why did you say they obviously are not working and you will get some more?

I meant to say obviously not visible

No, I definitely wouldn't let my children cycle on the road at night, especially at a busy period in icy conditions. I wouldn't care if they were lit up like a Christmas tree.

Not all bike lights are equal. Obviously he shouldn't have sworn at you.

We are told not to drive to school

Who told you this?

Why would he say he couldn’t see your lights if he could? There is no reason for that, so I would assume your lights are not adequate and you gave him a shock which made him react angrily. You being able to see your children who were presumably right beside you does not mean they were visible at a distance from a speeding car.

What a horrible man, no excuse for his behaviour.

I drive home along dark country roads where there are frequently cyclists. The other day I only saw a cyclist last minute that had a hi-vis and a light on his bike. They're just not enough. Most of the cyclists around here have flashing lights attached to their body/backpack as well as their bike lights, that seems to give most visibility.

Obviously he was horrible and shouldn’t have spoken to you like that, but I’m sorry there is no way I would cycle in the dark and icy conditions with my children, I mean really, the consequences are unthinkable and regardless of the fact drivers should be paying attentions it only takes one accident to have fatal or life changing consequences.

Yes we should all be free to cycle around as we please and save the planet but there is no fucking way I’d take that risk with my children.

He was obviously totally in the wrong in the way he spoke to you, but I wouldn't cycle at night on the road for anything, and I would never allow my kids to do so, either. It can be very, very hard to see cyclists at night, even if they are wearing proper gear.

Horrible thing to happen. You have my sympathies OP.

Bicycle lights are however very weak compared to car lights and easily shadowed by passing traffic. I think he just didn’t see you and frightened himself.

As a cyclist you are a very vulnerable road user. I would take it as a warning that you could do more to make yourself visible on the road. Can you invest in flashing lights front and back, lighted Hi Viz?

Sounds like he needs his eyes checked if his vision isn't safe for driving at night. Screw him, op, idiots exist in the world and your kids sadly have to deal with that reality but it isn't a reflection on you.

II can’t tell whether either of you are being unreasonable without knowing how bright you lights are. It may very well be that the driver couldn’t see your lights (do your children’s bikes also have lights?). It may be worth investing in something brighter.

I have these things called spoke lights that light up your whole wheel and flash in different colours. You could look into something like this.

This sounds very upsetting and there's no excuse for someone to speak to you like that, especially in front of a child. He's hugely unreasonable.

That said, cycling in the dark with a child is not something I would do, however well-lit, because you are putting you both much more at the mercy of blind, idiot road users like the one you encountered. At least if you encounter a dangerous driver while you and your child are in a highly safety rated car, you stand a fighting chance of waking away if and when those around you fail to drive with due care.

Thank you everyone for your kindness. Yes all of us have lights on including red ones at the back. I take the point about cycling in the dark though and won't be doing it with the dc again.

Obviously he shouldn’t have shouted at you but maybe this is a blessing in disguise? The next car might have ploughed into the back of you but due to this man’s outburst you will take action to make sure you and your DC are properly seen.

I suspect he didn't see you initially because he wasn't looking for some reason (distracted by phone, radio, kids in the back, etc) and when he did see you, which suggests you were visible, he got a fright and took it out on you.

While it's not compliant with the highway code, I tell DS to cycle on the pavement because of people like him. Maybe you, or at least your children with you on the road alongside, should do the same.

This. You did nothing wrong OP. What a wanker.