To expect DD to sleep through the night or at least allow my DH to resettle her?

[lucieth]

DD is nearly 2. In a SAHM, my husband works full time. He's a very loving dad and does his very best to share in parenting and house chores whilst working, but naturally being a SAHM I spend a lot more time with DD than him. They do have a great relationship though - when he gets in from work she runs to the door shouting PAPPIIII (daddy in his language) with hugs and she belly laughs with him like she doesn't with anyone else.

DD absolutely refuses to be put to bed or resettled at night by my DH. It has to be me, otherwise she will cry MUMMMYYYYYY and refuse to go to bed. I can count on my hand the number of times I've been out for bedtime but each time she will cry and bedtime will take 3-4 hours. Once she still won't go to sleep till I come home at 11pm (bedtime normally 7:30pm) and other times he could only put her to bed by doing it in our bed (as opposed to her cot where she normally sleeps) and stay will her in the dark from 7:30 in the bed.

It makes me exhausted as it clearly means he can't help if she wakes at night (feels like every child sleeps through around 1 year old but here we are at 22 months still having 3-4 wakes per night) and if she wakes whilst I'm showering by the time I'm out she's been crying for a while and woken herself up more.

Hes not always home before bedtime from work so can't commit to always doing it more often. Plus it's truly torture for everyone if he can't put her to sleep for 3-4 hours and it feels right for me to step in.

Now you do! My two children as described in my post above.

At about 10/11 months my EBF daughter was waking every hour to feed for around 30 minutes.
I’d gone back to work and she wouldn’t take expressed milk so she just completely reverse cycled and would feed all night.
I was mid teacher training & it nearly broke me. She didn’t sleep past about 4.30am until she was nearly 3 either.
Drives me mad when people try to say babies should be sleeping through by a certain age - they don’t come having read the manual 🙄

Your choice but I honestly don't know why people put them through this torture where in the vast majority of cases it would only take a few nights of (gentle!) sleep training to ensure that everyone, including the children, have a peaceful and deep night's sleep making for happier days all round. What is the argument for years of sleep deprived suffering? There is none! It achieves absolutely nothing.

I would start off with both of you doing bedtime together then you having less and less involvement, then you could start a reward chart for when she does it with Daddy alone.

Just a thought with the bedtime routine, would it be an idea to do teeth first and then do reading because then she’ll probably be more relaxed. I always did bottle, teeth, book then sleep. I was too worried about the milk being on their teeth all night, but that’s a personal thing as I know a lot of people do it your way.

You realise milk has sugar in it? So teeth brushing then milk will effectively cancel out any teeth brushing… settling down for a story in bed then getting up again into the bright bathroom light might be an issue? Try milk, teeth, wash then bed for a story and cuddle? I think it’s totally normal for a toddler to wake for comfort in the night. I’m 3 boys in, my first I didn’t get it, I said he was making me tired every time he woke, I realise now how wrong I was, my second I should have had in bed with me from day one he was so lonely and upset at night in his own room, my third I’ve co-slept since day one and it’s the best thing I could have done for sleep! My husband sleeps with the two year old now so we all get a great nights rest with plenty of time for us to share as a couple too. Please don’t expect a toddler to sleep through the night, it will come, and all too soon.