To have sent this text?

[schitts]

I've been on a few dates with a lovely guy, however, I have cancelled the past two just due to genuinely being busy. We were meant to go a walk tomorrow afternoon but I just have been feeling a bit sick about it recently as I feel like dating is a distraction and it's taking mental and physical energy away from other things I need to concentrate on. He text this morning asking how I was and so I replied this,

'Hey, Hope you’re good! I have been thinking and I’ve enjoyed chatting with you and getting to know you a bit but I’m just so busy the now I just think there’s no point meeting up. It’s not going to go anywhere, there’s so much time passed between our last date (my fault) and I just think it’s going to be like that due to how busy I am and probably won’t progress so don’t want to waste your time. I have one day off a week the next couple of months and I really just feel like I need to be spending that with my kids and concentrating on them. Things will settle down for me around march once I qualify so who knows then. But at the moment I just feel like I’m getting pulled in different directions and I need to just concentrate on the kids and my placement and work before anything else. I’ll miss chatting with you though, have enjoyed it, you’re great and funny 😆 sorry just want to be upfront and stop wasting your time as I’ve cancelled past few meet ups. X'

I thought it was decent enough as we have been in touch for 7 weeks now so didn't want to just disappear. He text me back saying,

'No worries, take care x'

But my friend has now said she is cringing for me that I wrote a big text like that to someone I 'barely know' and she reckons he will be showing his pals and laughing.

Maybe I should have just written something shorter and more to the point?

Is this embarassing?

Your “friend” sounds like one of those people who thinks every tiny thought that goes through their brain has to come out of their mouth. Beyond irritating.

It's a little longer than it needed to be, but it's fine. If you're not that keen on him now it was a good decision & a decent way to stop seeing him.

his reply was a bit cold & id be sad he didn't seem bothered, but if I wasn't that keen I'd just be happy he wasn't terribly upset.

However, your 'friend' sounds mean & not much of a friend, I'd be letting that one go.

I think you could have got to the point a bit quicker, but it isn't a cringy text. It's fine, he took it fine. Move on.

I found it cringy “oh I’m so busy!” Blah blah - I always find “I’m so busy” people cringy though - everyone is “busy” - your time is not more precious than his

I didn't read it that way at all. It doesn't seem like a humble brag. I agree, your friend may be stirring.

I think it’s fine, as is his response. Ignore your ‘friend’

If you're not going to see this chap again why does it matter either way?

I think people who found it cringy may be quite prideful people / insecure.

It was polite, to the point and appropriate.

It’s your friends issue, not yours.

I don’t think she’s saying it is but she’s saying you’re not a priority.

When people say to you ‘I’m so busy’ that’s what that means. We prioritise what we can for most. It’s not cringey

I thought it was really considerately put. I really liked that you said you enjoyed what you had with him. Very open, and honest, and friendly. No blaming anyone or suggestion of failure. Your friend is being a bit weird - what's her problem? Is she not able to be kindly assertive. Is she jealous of your life? Keep being you. Well done 👏

I think it was a nice text. You have explained your situation and told him why dating isn't an option at the moment. And you have left the door open if you decide you did quite like him and might want to meet for a coffee once you have qualified.

Nothing wrong with being honest .
His reply was short and he cut out any idea of the future .
This sort of reply comes when the person isn’t happy about what they have received.
mayeb he liked you or maybe and ego thing.

Nothinh is wrong with either of your messages.

Your text was fine, it wasn't being put forward for a literary award, so whether a few words could be trimmed doesn't matter.

Another one saying to watch out for the "friend" though. That is someone who doesn't like you, and likes to make you feel small. Send him or her a shorter text as that's their preference: "Hey, Hope you're good! I'm busy and you're unpleasant. Just want to be upfront that I’m cancelling future meet ups. X'

Sounds fine to me. If everyone was as honest about what they wanted and were capable of committing to the world of dating would be a much better place.

The message isnt cringe. But why did you go out with him in the first place

I didn’t read it like that at all. I think this might say more about you than the OP to be honest. It’s just honest and clear.

It's fine and good that you were honest with him and didnt play games or act dismissive.

I wonder if your friend is mentally a bit younger and still at that stage where being seen to be cool is the main priority, rather than being honest and open.

Immature take. It's clear from how her text is worded that this isn't what she's implying.

Your message was fine , he must have been keen to still be contacting you after you cancelled twice, so was decent of you to explain yourself. Better than ghosting. Doubt very much he'd be laughing with his mates about it , it was still a brush off after all. Just a nice one

Your message was fine, not in the least bit cringe. I'm not sure why people think a brief, curt message would be preferable to a sincere, friendly one like this? The guy hasn't done anything wrong, there's no 'baddie' here. His reply was short as he's probably slightly embarrassed at being rejected, however kindly, which is fine.

Your friend sounds really immature. There is zero chance the guy is going to show this message to his friends, why on earth would he?

It was a bit long winded but unless he's 12 I think he'll be moving on without thinking about it (or showing his friends). I don't think guys normally do that sort of thing, though a woman might!

There is nothing wrong or cringey in what you text him. I don't think it was too long at all and I'm a "why say 4 words when 3 will do" person. By giving him all the info you did , it removed any reason for him to ask why or try to think of ways for the relationship to carry on.

It's a nice message, but because it's so long it almost sounds like you are over explaining unnecessarily ( just a little bit ).

Awhh I'd have written similar -
As
Women we can tend to over explain , however I think he's nice from
What you're saying

Could you not have given him a chance ?

He is nice. I don't know. I'm feeling really guilty