To touch a strangers dog without permission then to be abusive when it barks

[WeHaveChocIcesInTheFreezer]

For context; we have a 4 year old female German Shepherd who is the softest, friendliest dog you can meet IF she knows you. She is not good with strangers, especially men, after some horrible experiences as a very young puppy. Typical of her breed she is loyal, loving and protective over us and our DC (6mo twins)- to note she is NEVER alone with or out of reach when around DC and has only ever been calm and affectionate towards them.

This morning I’m out walking her with a friend and have the twins in their pram, my friend pops into a shop so I’m stood outside with the pram in front of me and her sat calmly by my feet, next to the pram. Out of nowhere a young, quite big in build, man appears next to me and just lunges towards her and sticks his hand into her face. She instinctively sees this as a threat to her and us and immediately snaps at him/barks loudly. He backs off whilst quite angrily saying ‘not a friendly dog then eh?’.. so I said ‘actually she is but not with strangers and you should have asked before touching her!’ To which he raises his voice and starts saying ‘you shouldn’t have an effing dog on the streets if it isn’t effing friendly to strangers!’

At this point my friend comes out of the shop so this man storms off whilst shouting back more abuse about me being a ‘silly cow’ and having a ‘dangerous dog’..

Now I’m aware she’s a protective breed and can be intimidating to some, but I had a halter collar/lead on her and kept her by my feet/out of the way of people passing. She has zero issues around people as long as they don’t try touch her without warning. He PURPOSELY leaned across me to touch her with no warning!

AIBU to be annoyed at him? Or could I/should I have done more to avoid strangers touching her?

Any sensible person would. Sometimes DC have not been taught to do that by their parents and they run over and just start stroking.

Which is why I would be really pissed off if I had to get my dog put to sleep because there is no law that says that parents are responsible for keeping their children safe. As a PP said, if you can prevent your child from running into the road, you can prevent him or her from get too close to dogs if you know they aren’t capable of assessing the situation.

My dog is generally good with strangers including small children, but my meal out in a restaurant was spoiled the other day because a small child was running loose while her mother read her phone and ignored her. My dog was on his lead under the table and the child kept lunging under the table to get to him. Nothing happened, but if it had, it would be my dog that had to be euthanased, even though the entire fault lay with the hopeless parent.

He should have asked.

Your reactive dog should be muzzled in case people (especially children) don't ask.

I mean I agree he shouldn't have done that but as a dog owner you also have to be prepared for that eventuality.

My dog is reactive and I wouldn't stand in a position with him where I could not have eyes all around me to see an approach by someone and advise them beforehand that he can be reactive / walk away with him if they looked like they were coming in to touch him.

So in that situation I would not be standing by the shop door but in an open space or an area where nobody could sneak up on us unseen.

Unfortunately you still get instances that are hard to predict...I was sorting my dog out in the boot of my car once and someone just lunged in to stroke him as they walked past..I ust had to put my arms up so they made contact with me and not my dog.

I don't touch strangers dogs even if invited to because I'm not interested in them unless it was my dog.
I hate, with a passion, dogs that leap up and slobber over me while the thick owner thinks it funny 'he she's only being friendly'
I don't care for it so take your dog and fuck off.
The bloke concerned was a twat.

Your dog sounds lovely and the man sounds like an idiot.

But as a dog owner, if your dog is known to snap, you really must muzzle it when you are out in public. Particularly on a street or outside shops.

Wearing a muzzle doesn't mean that your dog isn't a lovely soft dog at home! It's just evident that the dog has been exposed to (unwittingly im sure) situations where it feels threatened and its reaction is quite high/severe. A snap is a warning, yes, but it's quite quite up the scale of 'I'm uncomfortable' body language. A bite is not out of the question, particularly if the snap is misaimed and lands on skin.

It would be great if we lived in a world where people could leave a dog well alone. But as it is, it's your dog that has the reactivity and should either be muzzled or at least not put into a situation where this could happen. More incidents will only increase your dogs likelihood of increasing its own reaction and fueling its anxiety.

You’re going to have to nip that in the bud because the small floofy ones are much more likely to bite than the big aggressive looking ones.

I occasionally will pat a dog before I get permission - but ONLY if they run up to me and their owners are too far away to shout across too (happens a fair bit where I walk my dogs). But I am careful about watching their body language and dont pat unless I am sure they are friendly. And I would never touch a dog which was attached to an owner without speaking to the owner first. Hes bonkers.

Can’t stand dogs but yes he was out of order and wrong

Doesn’t the grabby person bear any responsibility? Nobody should touch people or animals without consent. I wouldn’t be very friendly if someone lunged at me either.

I agree with this, the man sounds like an utter idiot but I’d think of the muzzle as a way of preventing any heartache if a complaint was made about your dog if they reacted more strongly next time.

He should have asked
He shouldn't have been abusive
However i think you need to take some responsibility for your dog. You can get leads, collars and harnesses that say 'nervous'.

No the man shouldn't have touched the dog without permission. But next time it could be a child. If the dog can't be trusted not act aggressively then it's a problem and a danger in public places.

To be honest, my dog is absolutely fine with anyone and everyone, extremely submissive and won't even take a treat if another dog is there for fear it'll upset the other dog I guess! BUT I still wouldn't want anyone touching her without asking, it should be common knowledge to ask before touching regardless of how "cute" or "friendly" a dog looks. I hate it when people don't!

Mostly people do ask me and I'll say yes, situation depending but generally if I'm not keen on the vibe I won't. Or if i can see itchy hands, ill move, say on a train or bus etc. (Little kids who look excited & parents ask, elderly lady on the bus etc - makes their day.... intimidating bloke who looks dodgy.... err no, mate)

Mine has just had tplo surgery and we're limited to 15min walks and I'm too scared to even do that as when we went to the park, loose dogs ran up to her and I didn't want to risk re-injury or surgical failure if she jumped etc even though on lead SO, my point, to help stop this I bought her a lead thing that says "Anxious Dog Respect my space" it's yellow, which stands out.
It might help avoid such nasty individuals in the future. There's all sorts of other texts available, I just chose that because I simply wanted to keep people at a distance but equally i didn't want to give people the impression its because shes aggressive, I just want some space.

I'm sure you can also find places that do custom ones, too.
You're not being unreasonable BTW. Some people just feel like they're owed 😒

Anyway, that yellow sleeve is an option if you feel it might happen again. I plan to keep mine as I'm due soon and worried about having to keep an eye on two important beings at the same time!

@FuckinghellthatsUnbelievable "Doesn’t the grabby person bear any responsibility?"

Yes. Loads. But the bite has still happened.

What about a dog coat that says nervous on it? Vaguely remember seeing a dog with something like that once, although it was smaller than a German Shepard. A muzzle also signals to others that they shouldn't touch your dog.
My dad had a German shepherd once and used to walk her for miles across fields but never took her into town where there was lots of people because he knew she wouldn't handle it well. It is your responsibility as a dog owner to make sure nothing bad could happen to others, even if they are stupid enough to touch a dog they don't know.

It's 50/50. You obviously rubbed him up the wrong way with your response which was a bit "know it all" for someone who allowed it to happen. I have an Akita who would react in the same way so I understand your feelings on this BUT that's why as soon as someone walks up, I tell them no. Eyes open!

Sorry op if your dog has potential to bite people you need to muzzle it in public, there will always be idiots around. You wouldn't want the heartbreak of having to pts if they bit someone.

Oh hun I completely understand the frustration... our old XL bully was amazing with my kids and would never hurt a fly but the amount of people that would try and touch her head was unreal... we were responsible owners so she was well trained etc but would snap and growl at strangers who would then have a go at us for owning an "aggressive" dog!! People are unbelievable hun, YANBU xx

My German Shepherd can be very anxious with other dogs. I tend to walk him in isolated spacious areas as even if he does kick off on seeing another dog, people would still allow their dogs to come over declaring "ooohhh he just wants to say hello!" No he really fucking doesn't!!
So! I got him a large luminous yellow vest with the words 'space needed' on it. Also two lead attachments, one saying 'anxious dog may over react' and one saying ' unpredictable twat'. They actually work! Especially the vest. Maybe it would be worth trying something like that? Although the guy in question would probably be one of those 'oh dogs love me!' 🙄

If people can't control their children, they should put them on reins for their own safety. If they are being over excited and making enough noise to upset other people and animals, they should be gagged or kept at home.

Your reactive dog should be muzzled in case people (especially children) don't ask.

to me a reactive dog is one which reacts aggressively to normal situations. She was sitting quietly by her owners side, not barking at passers by- that is not reactive. Only issue came when an idiot lunged at her without warning- sometimes people need to take responsibility for their own stupidity. A child would be far less threatening- the issue is with grown men.

P.s. I am the biggest advocate of getting out of control dogs off the street.

Yanbu. Same with horses. My mare looks like a unicorn from a fairy tale but she'll take a chunk out of you if you pat her in the wrong place.

YANBU and I can’t believe 10% have voted that YABU, they are probably just as stupid as the man who you unfortunately encountered!

my children’s school have a talk every year as part of safety week. A professional comes from a dog charity and they educate children on dogs. My children came home, one Reception, one y4, and told me that you always ask to stroke the dog. They ask me first, then the owner.
I normally say no, unless we are in a setting/environment where a dog is close by for a while.
my son was bitten on the hand by a sausage dog(?!) that was off the lead. It wandered up to him and just bit his hand. So for my son to still want to stroke dogs, is a good thing!
you did the right thing having it on a lead and by you. The stranger shouldn’t have tried to stroke the dog.