To wonder who you agree with re childcare

[Grestin]

dh doesn’t want to consider a childminder, he thinks there may be problems with reliability and also the mix of ages may be a problem.

I think it might be good to at least look.

Wondering what others would do when you just don’t agree.

If one of you is dead set against an idea and the other isn't that bothered then it's not worth forcing the idea.
If you were dead seat against a nursery you would have a problem but you aren't so just respect his opinion.

I had a CM as a child....but my mum already knew her.
When we had first DD we only looked at nurseries...I didn't know any CMs and it's a huge step/trust letting someone you don't know look after your first baby in their home....at least with a nursery there are multiple staff members, and other families/parents so it's not just you trusting an individual iyswim

But then circs changed and after using nurseries for 3+ yrs we looked at a CM who could eventually do school pick ups for oldest and have youngest full time. By then I was more confident as a parent, DD1 could tell us what she did when there, and I knew people in the area who knew different CMs and could give honest opinions.

The lady we went with was Fab, but is swings and roundabouts.
She could do school pickups, but we had to coordinate holidays around her holidays. The mix of ages is great in some ways, but activities are not all going to be targeted at your child.

One good thing about childminders is the continuity of care. My son started at the childminder when he was 10 months old and she looked after him all the way through school until my job changed when he was in the juniors, and we didn't need childcare any more. It meant she knew him so well. And I never worried about school holidays or days off for elections or inset days or staggered starts to reception, etc - it was all covered.

Also ours was friendly with lots of other childminders so when she had an operation once or when she went on holiday, there were others to step in to cover - who the kids knew because they went to groups and activities together.

In Nursery your child will have one key worker so they will be able to bond with someone specific. Also there will be colleagues keeping an eye, correcting any mistakes which may be made.

However, childminders are often older and more experienced. You would have to trust them as there is no one to keep an eye.

You could do Preschool plus a childminder and get the best of both worlds - but only from 2 years old.

my sister in law used a few different childminders and had ridiculous experiences with all of them. Opening the door in her pjs having clearly just woken up. Calling in sick at the last minute because her dog was unwell. Friends telling her that they’d seen her childminder not properly supervising the kids at soft play because she was too busy with her pals. Kids being upset on drop off because something had clearly happened to upset them but she never found out the truth because there was no one else there. Eventually she switched to nursery and never looked back.

we had a wonderful experience at nursery. Honestly. I know there are excellent childminders too but it’s too hit or miss for me.

It makes sense but if you sorted childcare months ago then I'd wonder if it wasn't actually you just having the natural worry about going back to work rather than about the type of care?

It's natural to wonder if you're doing the best but if you always second guess yourself then you'll end up tying yourself in knots.

I'm sure the nursery you've chosen is fabulous and she will thrive there and this is just a case of you wondering if the grass would have been greener.

A good experienced childminder would be my choice for a baby, it's much closer to being at home with a parent and I think that's more beneficial to the child and more suitable at such a young age.

I think that’s dh worry and nine really but so many seem to think childminders better for babies

To @HomeBird43 sorry

I wanted a childminder. She was fabulous. She had her own baby the same age as mine, and a little boy in reception. It was a great situation that worked well.

Sounds like you're just having a wobble, which is very normal as you get closer to the end of mat leave.

We never considered child minders due to sickness, holidays etc. I also don't like the idea of mixed age groups and babies being brought out on school runs etc. For other people, that will be a pro rather than a con so it's very personal.

Ours have both been at nursery 5 days a week from about 10 months and have loved it. Eldest now at school with kids she's known since the baby room and youngest will be the same.

Personally for me nursery was the better option I work full time but dp is satd. For me a childminder can call in sick (which is unavoidable) however nursery that's covered unless extreme circumstances. At nursery in a baby room the ratio is really low and they also have a key work so will get one to one time if that's what you are worried about. You both need to talk and pro and con each of them to see what works best for you

I agree with DH. We didn't even look at childminders for several reasons and it's same now that I'm pregnant with twins, people keep suggesting a nanny because with 3 under 2, it will work out cheaper than nursery but we much prefer nursery.

Childminders are usually very reliable because it's their living and they aren't going to do anything that effects their income.

I agree with a PP who said how their child isn't immediately sent home from the childminder if they're under the weather, while a nursery will. I don't think there was a single occasion we had to pick DS up in the day. Our childminder would snuggle DS up on the sofa with a film, cuddle him if he needed it and message me about Calpol. They weren't so fussy. Older kids are usually at school so it's only little ones at their house. DS made some lovely friends.

If the childminder was going to be off for an appointment or holiday we had plenty of notice. We would sometimes book our holidays for the same dates as it meant we didn't need to pay childcare for that period. Yeah, sometimes his childminder would be off sick, but it wasn't often at all.

Positives for us were the home environment so I felt much better leaving him there while I worked. They would go on lots of days out to the park, zoo, aquarium, beach, etc. His childminder became an extension of our family and she knew DS so well.

We did also use a nursery for a year (alongside the childminder), and it was much better than I expected. But felt a lot less personal than the childminder.

If anything, I’d say my childminder is way more reliable than a nursery! She doesn’t just send him home for silly stuff like I see people say on here about nurseries. Hes not with a mix of different aged kids they’re all the same age that go.

Depends how easily you can take days off work if the childminder is off sick. This is why we ultimately always went with a nursery because I can’t take days off at all, especially at short notice. I have to literally be dying to take a day off. We don’t have family nearby to step in either so we needed reliable childcare. Nurseries always have back up staff if one is sick but a childminder is just a solo person, that was the deciding factor for us.

I believe childminders are better for the baby stage eg. From 9 months. It's much more personal, homely and family like.

Most people get 4+ weeks annual leave so 2-3 weeks is doable especially if some of its shared with a partner.

I didn't want to consider a childminder either because I knew someone who'd had some very bad experiences. It massively put me off. I was concerned about putting all my trust into one person.

However, having been through two children in nursery. Nursery isn't perfect. I'd say some children suit it more than others. I can see how a good childminder could work really well if you and your child have a good relationship with them and you trust them.

So if I was having a baby now I would at least consider it I think.

We had different CMs for DC1 and DC2.

DC1 went to CM from 6 weeks old. CM was brilliant. She was an older lady with grown up DCs and GCs. She was an amazing lady, very sensible. She didn't drive so she and DC1 walked or took the bus everywhere.

CM retired when DC1 was 3 and started at nursery.

DC2 went to a different CM. Okay, a bit more chaotic than our first one. She had children of her own who were lovely but it just made for a busier household.

Both CMs were reliable.

To add. I've had two dc in nursery.

They are both absolutely fine now. The sort of problems I had with nursery were, constant bugs and hen they first start, nursery will sometimes send them home over daft reasons. One of my dc got nappy rash a few times, but he did poo for England I don't think it was entirely their fault as he was often going several times. They said they always checked him first!

Nursery was 8-6 and no flexibility beyond. My second dc was less able to cope with childcare and drop offs could be very upsetting. As I said he's completely fine now no lasting effects.

The more I think back though all in all it wasn't too bad but these things can feel major at the time when you're a tired mum just gone back to work.

Not all childminders will do TFC/funded hours. I preferred nursery for mine after reading a few dodgy ofsted reports of my local childminders

We always used childminders when DS was young. In part because it was the only affordable option for childcare that was flexible enough to accommodate my shift pattern. But I liked the smaller group of children, the more personal relationship the childminder had with the kids than they would get at nursery, and that DS got to mix with children of different ages (he's an only child). Also the home from home environment is great.
He made some very good friendships through going to a childminder that are still going strong years later.

Like any childcare though, it pays to do your research. Look online to find out what childminders are required to do.
Visit first and get a feel for the person and environment.
Ask what they do with the children, what food they serve (if they provide it), do they do school/nursery runs etc (don't be put off by this, the kids often love being in the car with others).
Can you see their registration, insurance, first aid certificates, etc; anything you know they should have? (All of these should be readily available and demonstrates they take their job safety commitments seriously).
Ours had a portfolio of things each child had done while in her care (I believe this sort of thing is a requirement, in Scotland at least, though everyone does it differently).

As for reliability, ask how often they have taken an unplanned day off. They should be able to answer honestly and not be evasive.
Nurseries aren't necessarily better in this respect because of the ratios. Plus there's more chance of your child picking up bugs themselves, or being refused entry for a sniffle. Childminders tend to take a more sensible approach in my experience.

As you've already got nursery sorted, then maybe just go with it. If she isn't settling, or you and dh feel it's not right once she's had a proper try at it, revisit it.

Depending on age of child, I’d go for a nursery or preschool. My experience via other mums is that nursery will offer a more comprehensive service as there’s a number of people delivering it, not an individual.