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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To throw a Christmas card in the bin?

91 replies

MotherOfOlafs · 21/11/2023 11:45

Got a Christmas card today, why this early I’ve no idea, from DH’s godparent. They have used a shortened version of my name, think Mandy instead of Amanda and the like. I’ve never used this nickname, none of my family and friends have called me it, and to be frank I really don’t like it anyway! So I threw it in the bin. DH says I was a douchebag but I think it’s ignorant.

A couple of points, yes it was addressed to me and DH, but not my DD (DH’s SDD). DH hates cards, he says they are a waste of money. DH’s name is quite similar to another different name and he always moans when people mishear him and calls him that name!

OP posts:
HeyNando · 21/11/2023 11:47

Genuinely who cares?

Bit petty to chuck it straight in the bin but they'll never know either way.

PureHoney · 21/11/2023 11:50

Bit rough to throw away a card from your DH’s godparent when he didn’t want you to. It’s kind of them to send one and really not worth getting cross about them using the wrong version of your name. Why not see it as a kind gesture rather than focusing on the ways they got it wrong.

It is madly early though, you’re right about that.

justalittlesnoel · 21/11/2023 11:51

It's his card, why on earth did you throw it away? That's really rude!

Poetnojo · 21/11/2023 11:51

You sound like hard work.

ComtesseDeSpair · 21/11/2023 11:56

It’s a Christmas card. Primarily to your DH. And yes, a bit early but I’m assuming as a godparent they’re older and therefore can be let off a bit. I’m sure I’ve also occasionally, when writing cards to relatives to include their partners and children who I barely know, got it wrong as to whether it’s Catherine or Katherine or Katie or Kate or Cait.

purplecorkheart · 21/11/2023 11:57

God grief you sound like a child. It as kind of them to send a card. You should not have thrown it away. Do you normally react in this way to minor things?

TrishIsMySpiritAnimal · 21/11/2023 12:01

YABU

Whats the point of chucking it in the bin? It wasn’t really your card.

Also I hate to say it but unless people are in your life regularly, people tend to forget about stepchildren. I certainly have to think what my cousin’s who I see maybe once a year SC are called.

Tothemoonandbackx · 21/11/2023 12:04

Could be money in that card!!!!! It wouldn't annoy me, doesn't sound like they were doing anything out of spite, unless there's a back story. They may have sent all their cards early worrying they might not get to everyone in time for Christmas.

Trinity65 · 21/11/2023 12:04

YABU

Grow Up

Zamzamzamdeedah · 21/11/2023 12:05

The early bit is because many expect postal delays later.

You were rude, it was mainly his card, how would you feel if he just threw ones from your side which weren't to his liking away? I am stickler for my correct name but unless I have bad history with someone, I would let it slide on card once. Mentioned it next time I see them. The dd issue is different, but may be they sent card with adults only names for a reason.

MonsteraMama · 21/11/2023 12:06

Your husband is right, you were a douchebag.

ManateeFair · 21/11/2023 12:06

Are you 12 years old or something? Grow the fuck up.

TeaKitten · 21/11/2023 12:08

Your DH is right. If he threw it away then fair enough.

HomeschoolMum88 · 21/11/2023 12:08

I’d be annoyed by the name shortening too but to throw it away? How odd. I hope you send them a card back and use your proper name. Hopefully they’ll get the hint for next Christmas.

Cryingbutstilltrying · 21/11/2023 12:08

I bin them all anyway so yanbu!
Make a note of any gift inside for thank you purposes, and into the recycling they go.
By not sending any for a few years, we’re down to very few thankfully.
Such a waste of money buying and posting them imo.

LoveThisDog · 21/11/2023 12:10

Poetnojo · 21/11/2023 11:51

You sound like hard work.

Second this

TheYearOfSmallThings · 21/11/2023 12:13

Oh! Oh! It's a reverse! It's a reverse, isn't it!

Because nobody would depict themselves as being such an arsehole!

PaminaMozart · 21/11/2023 12:20

How about, instead of throwing away her card, you find a really beautiful card and take the time to write more than 'Jack and Jill xx'.

I have a friend who takes Christmas cards very seriously. Personally I don't care - but I make sure I always get her a lovely card. It takes so little effort but it means a lot to her.

Be gracious. It's ultimately more rewarding than not being gracious.

Justcallmebebes · 21/11/2023 12:24

Poetnojo · 21/11/2023 11:51

You sound like hard work.

This with Christmas bells on

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 21/11/2023 12:27

I think YABU. I'm imagining they are old and so they sent a nice gesture but can't remember full details about you... It's better to leave your dad name off if they can't remember it but the sentiment is still there.

You sound hard work and entitled.
Merry Christmas!

Celticliving · 21/11/2023 12:28

I think your reactions were pretty extreme.

housethatbuiltme · 21/11/2023 12:31

My DH has a friend with the same name as him but he only goes by nickname and friend does not. Me and his wife have wildly different names only sharing a first letter, my name is not English and rare round here (I have never personally met another in England) and hers is very common/standard British name.

One xmas (years into our relationship) we received a card from them where they had written their own names twice but in reversed order, they also didn't include our child... it was a bit bizarre. Basically like:

To Kevin & Sarah
From Sarah & Kevin

When my DH goes by Kev (using the full name would be fine but feels formal among friends) and my name is more like Sonika.

We just laughed at the silliness of it, no need to take offense and throw it out.

MereDintofPandiculation · 21/11/2023 12:38

ComtesseDeSpair · 21/11/2023 11:56

It’s a Christmas card. Primarily to your DH. And yes, a bit early but I’m assuming as a godparent they’re older and therefore can be let off a bit. I’m sure I’ve also occasionally, when writing cards to relatives to include their partners and children who I barely know, got it wrong as to whether it’s Catherine or Katherine or Katie or Kate or Cait.

And equally, I've left out children for fear of getting their names wrong.

Zamzamzamdeedah · 21/11/2023 12:38

housethatbuiltme · 21/11/2023 12:31

My DH has a friend with the same name as him but he only goes by nickname and friend does not. Me and his wife have wildly different names only sharing a first letter, my name is not English and rare round here (I have never personally met another in England) and hers is very common/standard British name.

One xmas (years into our relationship) we received a card from them where they had written their own names twice but in reversed order, they also didn't include our child... it was a bit bizarre. Basically like:

To Kevin & Sarah
From Sarah & Kevin

When my DH goes by Kev (using the full name would be fine but feels formal among friends) and my name is more like Sonika.

We just laughed at the silliness of it, no need to take offense and throw it out.

I would imagine they had some drinks when writing these so got name confused😂

Motnight · 21/11/2023 12:41

YABU.

There should have been a ceremonial burning of it.