To feel sad seeing a 7 week old baby at DC's nursery today

[comfysketchers]

Dropping my 15 month old off at nursery today before work and there was another woman there at the same time handing over a 7 week old sleeping baby.

He was absolutely tiny and I just felt so sad looking at him thinking that he barely even knows he is out of the womb and his mum is dropping him off to spend all day with strangers in a noisy nursery environment.

I should also add that I live in a country that has excellent parental leave from the government plus most private companies pay at least 10 weeks of full pay on top of that, with many paying much more than that.

YABU - It’s perfectly normal for a 7 week old baby to spend 8 hours per day in a nursery.

YANBU - A 7 week old baby should be at home with its mum.

How did you afford that?

She could be self-employed and have no maternity benefits. I own my own business, and I'm fully aware that when I have another child I won't get maternity leave. Just like the last one, I returned to work when my baby was 9 days old. I'm incredibly lucky to be able to work from home so I could work with one hand and hold him with the other, but not everyone is so lucky. No matter what the circumstances are, I hope the mother is doing well and has a support system of people who are nothing like you.

THIS.

It’s being normalized because we truly don’t care about child-maternal wellbeing.

I chose to go back to work when mine were 10 months old. I worked hard for my career and it is important for my fragile mental health. My children went to an excellent nursery and are loved, cared for and happy. Are you saying I just did the "least worst" option? I despair for the shit my daughters are going to put up with if they chose to have children.

It's really sad, I agree. Tiny tiny babies should be with their mothers.

It might be that the baby is 'only' going to be there for one day a week, or for a few hours? Does OP definitely know the baby is going to be there full-time, every day? Sorry I've not read the whole thread.

Social services may be intervening and this might be a temporary arrangement while mother is receiving treatment. I don't think anyone would put their 7 week old baby with strangers - I don't care how 'trained' they are - out of choice. She is likely to be mentally or physically ill. She can't be homeless, otherwise how would she afford it?

Or plan your pregnancy, so that you don’t end up needing to do this.

Dramatic! Many babies in the US (including my nephews) and other countries start full time nursery from six weeks. They aren’t damaged or suffering from separation anxiety. My nephews are now on their way to finishing their PHD’s at top US unis - am looking forward to seeing them for skiing in the NY. Great boys - a credit to the family.

YABU and really judgemental you have no idea why she is having to put her baby in nursery and it’s none of your business why she is putting them in nursery.

The OP won’t know the circumstances. The mother is probably dropping the baby off before work - it’s not uncommon.

Ex SW here - we sometimes helped mothers get their very tiny babies into childcare whilst she/they escaped domestic abuse. It was sometimes the safest place for them at that time.

Best not to judge.

@comfysketchers what age do you think is ok for nursery? Presumably by 15 months or you wouldn’t be doing it, but is that the earliest?

I got left with neighbours/ other school mums, basically anyone that could have me from about 3 months old. But that’s as because my mum had cancer and was receiving treatment. I was with different people on different days. I believe even a few days I had to be left with friends of friends who were free. My dad had no choice but to continue working full time to keep a roof over our heads.
Anyone not knowing the situation prob though that my mum and dad couldn’t be bothered as we had were always with someone different.

You do not know the circumstances so you should keep your nosey judgemental beak out.

It's a difficult one. It may well be right for the mother and lots of pp have described instances where mothers had to either go back to work or had ppd. Is it best for the child? At 7 weeks old I do not think it is. It's sad in my opinion. Do I consider her to be a bad parent, no because I don't know her circumstances and even if I did who am I to pass judgement?

Yes it might also be a temporary safety net while she is escaping domestic abuse.

Totally agree!

Plenty of people leave baby with granny at 7 weeks. Some people aren't lucky enough to have free family childcare.

The level of stupidity is nearly beyond comprehension.

and how do we know the magical age?

Let me guess, it happens to be when maternity leave ends in this country.

Funny that.

Ah, and that's meant to represent normality ? 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

I just rolled my eyes so hard I saw the inside of my brain.

Me & you both.

Incredible.

It is sad. When my dad was about 18 months I put her in nursery and there was a 3 month old there.

With the UK we do not live as close to family as we used to and some people have very different circumstances. For all you know it might have only been for a day and this could be the only option the parents had - who knows?

@SouthLondonMum22 maybe for some but I chose how long to take my maternity leave. I took a year and then some unpaid leave. By 13 months I was desperate to go back to work. I think 18 months is ideal for nursery but I was interested in @comfysketchers ‘s view too.

My second had to go to nursery at 10 weeks. Did I like it? No not really but if I want to pay my mortgage, live etc... then I have no choice. Don't be so judgemental. You know nothing about that baby's circumstances.

I don't know what is most disgusting. The nasty judgement displayed by so many posters. Or the fact that this thread had been reported and it still stands. There are people who have no choice but to leave their child in RESPONSIBLE childcare. There are others who choose to because, scientific fact, children are not damaged by it. What people choose to do, or need to do, is not a matter for disgustingly nasty click-bait. The posters almost have an excuse for their nasty poor judgment. What's the excuse for MN?