To refuse to do the driving over Christmas?

[Aquarelles]

Ex DP and I split towards the end of last year. Sold house and went our separate ways end of January.

We now live 30 miles apart and in these past 10 months, ex has done the drop off/pick up for our DS twice. Once to have a nosey at my new house, and again when I was struck down with Covid. The rest of the time I have travelled up and down the dual carriageway 4 times a week to facilitate shared custody. I hate it but I need him to do his share so I can work.

AIBU to say that once I break off for Christmas and pick DS up on the 22nd, ex will need to do the driving if he wants to see his son. It's been a long year for me and I'm looking forward to kicking back and hibernating over the Christmas period. He and his family are big drinkers and he's going to be at his mums for the majority of the time so I imagine he will expect me to continue doing the driving so he can bevvy up.

AIBU?

Mum is apparently stressed and struggling to cope. Just wants a normal Christmas being spoiled by her parents and her siblings. Hence the only people who can take the boy is her sisters ex in-laws????

I'm not sure what the story is there but yes I'm sure it makes sense in someone's head.

He can't stay with mum or go to his maternal grandparents because he's been abusive towards the other children who will be attending. Hence why not suitable for DS to be around him either, apparently.

Well, I’m no child psychologist but that seems to me to be a very bad idea. I understand, his mum will be knackered, but, “you kicked me out at Christmas” is likely to have consequences.

why can’t families be supportive at times other than 24-26th December?

I feel sorry for the boy, I don’t doubt he’s being a massive dickhead, but that is not doing to help.

still, every cloud, handy for you. Be grateful for the goddess of delinquent excuses?

Totally agree. Kicked out to stay with two people you're not even indirectly related to anymore because your biological family think you're hard work and don't want to spend the day with you.

I've had my own opinions on how the poor lad has been parented over the years.

On the night when he stole his mum's car age 15, his mum had left him alone overnight with his female cousin age 13. Or she had intended to anyway - if the lad hadn't crashed the car nobody would have known they'd been left alone. She went out to spend the night with her boyfriend. My blood ran cold when it came out.

My gut reaction is to say to the boy he can come to mine!

poor sod, he’s not been a priority in his family, had he? Just like your baby hasn’t been a priority for them. How very sad.